Why Modern, Western Marriage Has Become A Bad Business Decision For Men

AnnArchist · 2009-07-14T03:05:11+00:00

So very true, I learned the hard way with a marriage to the average american women. She said she loved me, I loved her too then. Things were great, we both had good jobs. We had our credit built up, and a home, plus 2 nice cars. Less than 1 year in , she starts to "work late" I never questioned it, our relationship was fantastic so I thought.

Later to find she was cheating on me with some kid that just turned 17 and lived with his parents, had no job, no car nothing.

I got to sell off my nice laptop to pay for the divorce , while she did all she could to drain the bank account. I even paid to put her through school, how nice of her huh

2009-07-14T06:50:20+00:00

Marriage was originally created as a way for families to merge land, property, political power and influence; perhaps people should return to viewing it as just that and nothing more.

That right there is the name of the game. That line changed my view on marriage.

tomek77 · 2009-07-13T21:19:51+00:00

The photo at the end was priceless, and sums up marriage pretty nicely! :)

AnnArchist · 2009-07-13T20:44:36+00:00

Of course its bad business. there is zero reason for a man to marry, ever. Unless she is really really independently wealthy and you are poor

BestServedCold · 2009-07-13T22:15:49+00:00

Here's my question. Clearly, there isn't a single reason for a man to get married. But, depending on the state, what does a man have to do to avoid being married commonlaw? If you cohabitate, can you just kick her out for a month every three years?

I haven't given up hope that I'll meet one of the 5% of women who are worth a steady long-term relationship. But I don't want to fall backwards into a marriage without knowing it.

Edit - Wiki

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common-law_marriage

The essential distinctions of a common law marriage are:

1.There must be mutual consent of the parties to the relationship constituting a marriage

2.Both parties must be of legal age to enter into a marriage or have parental consent to marry

3.Cohabitation alone does not create a common-law marriage; the couple must hold themselves out to the world as spouses; and 1.There must be mutual consent of the parties to the relationship constituting a marriage 2.Both parties must be of legal age to enter into a marriage or have parental consent to marry

4.In some jurisdictions, a couple must have cohabited and held themselves out to the world as husband and wife for a minimum length of time for the marriage to be recognised as valid.

Ummm. No. At least not from my anecdotal experience. I have known people who were involuntarily married by commonlaw. IIRC in Idaho AND Arizona.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common-law_marriage_in_the_United_States

Edit - It appears I'm full of shit. There are only 11 states that allow commonlaw marriage. It looks like Rhode Island might be the most dangerous state for this to occur and South Carolina, Texas, and Utah are all vague enough to require caution.

countingspoons · 2009-07-14T03:35:17+00:00

I hope this wasn't meant as a serious debate essay, because this is pretty pathetic. I'll only be commenting on the part about the actual wedding and ring because I don't want to waste my time reading the rest based on what I read in the beginning.

All this essay does is play on the typical stereotypes of women and create this facade of a "men vs. women" attitude that does absolutely nothing to fix the underlying problems. Not every woman wants an expensive diamond ring. Not every woman wants you to drop your savings on an extravagant wedding and honeymoon. If you find yourself with such a woman, then you have every right to drop everything and leave that woman behind you in the dust. The reason that so many women act like the stereotypical bridezilla is because there are men there enabling them every step of the way. There are plenty of girls out there who are not into all of this bullshit. If it really bothers you, then you will find a girl like that. It's that simple.

From skimming the rest of the article, it seems like the author does raise some interesting points. Unfortunately, he only seems to rely on "evidence" based on stereotypes and generalizations with no citations whatsoever.

Great example:

If he even suggested that she return to work to pay off some of her own debt load, he opens himself to criticisms of being an unsupportive husband and bad father who is endangering the welfare of his children.

That is just idiotic and untrue. First of all, criticism from who? Is there some committee that oversees all marriages? Second of all, no sane person would criticize a man for suggesting that the woman work to pay off her own debts. I could never see this happening to any normal person in the real world.

Western Women are often heard to claim that, “What’s mine is mine, and what’s his is ours.”

I've never heard that in the real world. Ever.

Worse, her cheating is portrayed as the man’s fault.

Again... wtf? That's just not true.

2009-07-13T22:29:47+00:00

Mm. I'd prefer to see more sources cited, but interesting nonetheless.

countingspoons · 2009-07-15T01:33:41+00:00

this could be an interesting topic if the article wasn't nothing but a gigantic dump of worthless stereotypes and generalizations. Every accusation they throw against women, I'm sure there are men who fit the type as well. This is just a bitter rant, not a factual or informative essay.

2009-07-14T07:07:37+00:00

*I have issues with the man marrying a "western woman". Aren't some women from overseas dreaming of an American prince to save them? Or am I just being stereotypical? My friend was married to a woman from South America and she took him for two houses and a business.

*The analogy of of giving a bum a free meal is not the same as someone you've entered a business contract with.

WebZen · 2009-07-14T02:55:34+00:00

A bit biased, no?

mistyriver · 2009-07-14T17:57:14+00:00

The essay seems to describe a marriage where the woman is in her early twenties, and the man ten years beyond her, in age. There is a distinct maturity gap which the author is describing.

coldacid · 2009-07-13T22:18:47+00:00

Hyperbole much? Still, there's more than a few chunks in here that ring entirely true.

Title	Why Modern, Western Marriage Has Become A Bad Business Decision For Men
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	91
Comments	105
Date	July 13, 2009 8:39 PM UTC (17 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/90uqi/why_modern_western_marriage_has_become_a_bad/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/why-modern-western-marriage-has-become-a-bad.1053549 https://theredarchive.com/post/1053549

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