I realize now I’m with a LVM. What do I do?

BabyFaceNightClub · 2021-01-17T11:22:26+00:00

One step at a time, honey. I promise you, you can do it. I was in a similar situation not too long ago, not even 6 months since I got out of a 4-year relationship with a very toxic NVM who broke me completely. But since dumping him, my life has gotten so much better and easier! Trust me, as soon as you leave his sorry ass behind you will be able to spend all the time you're now spending stressing over your relationship on your own wellbeing.

Now, take one step at a time. Start with arranging where you're gonna stay for the first time of the break-up, someone here mentioned friends or relatives, which I think is a good first step. Remember that it's not permanent, just the first little step of getting out of this toxic situation. As soon as you start to distance yourself from this relationship you will feel better and be able to focus on finding your own place, getting your career back on track, and just things in general that make you happy.

At the moment you're tied down to an energy thief, of course it's difficult feeling content and fulfilled when a man is sucking the life out of you! You deserve better and believe me you will feel better when you stop wasting your time on him and start spending it on yourself.

Stay strong!

nomadzebra · 2021-01-17T08:39:41+00:00

Can you not go to a friends or relatives? You have been that person before and you will be her again you just need to do one thing and you know what it is so you're half way there xx

Ancient-Cucumber · 2021-01-17T16:31:51+00:00

If you can't move back home, then get a job first, then start saving and move away as quickly as you can. Detach from him and stop trying to get things from him, like time together, attention etc., just leave him to his own things and you do yours.
Don't say anything about your plans, until you are ready to leave and already found your place. Don't argue or explain to much, or expect to be validated, as in him admitting he is not giving what you deserve.

kaleisdisgusting · 2021-01-17T08:51:18+00:00

Just think on how easy it is to get away from him, he sounds like a underdeveloped caveman.

onlyrhetorical · 2021-01-17T15:08:03+00:00

You are right, you need a plan. Take it one step at a time. Sounds like becoming financially independent from him would be the first step. Put together your CV, try applying for new jobs, even a lower-paying job is better than nothing in this situation.

Once you have some form of income, you will need to decide your living situation. You mentioned that you moved far away from your family for this man, do you still want to live there after the break-up? Or do you want to move back or move elsewhere?
Wish you well!

BabyGothQ · 2021-01-17T22:27:04+00:00

Since you know that he’s not going to change, perhaps it’s time to shift back into self-love mode? Figure out what you can do for yourself instead of how to fix him or the relationship?

Create a space for yourself somewhere in the house, when he’s playing video games figure out what hobbies you want to get back to or if you have any skills that you could use as a way to make money online, like on Etsy or IG or YouTube, etc.. Remember the you you were before or figure out if you’re a new you.

Focus on you and your needs that you can give yourself. Do things for you. Good luck 😉

You’re halfway there.

cryptohobo · 2021-01-17T21:44:17+00:00

Keep focused on the bigger picture, you’ll get another job and begin to put one foot in front of the other. I’m also only a message away if you need anything 💜

Title	I realize now I’m with a LVM. What do I do?
Author	kaleisdisgusting
Upvotes	149
Comments	23
Date	January 17, 2021 7:57 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/kz2cqb/i_realize_now_im_with_a_lvm_what_do_i_do/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/i-realize-now-im-with-a-lvm-what-do-i-do.1059751 https://theredarchive.com/post/1059751

Comments