Blatant misandry in r/TooAfraidToAsk

meringue-smooth · 2020-07-11T07:00:24+00:00

I share your suspicion that it's radfem refugees for the most part, but I also think that while Reddit population is largely male, certain subs do skew female due to their subject matter.

I didn't read all the comments on that post, and I don't doubt there is misandry in there, but I did see a few half-sensible comments in there about how "men are trash" is just like a female equivalent of "bitches be crazy" and other such phrases. That rings true to me, but the problem with it is that it still isn't a valid defence of use of the phrase. "Bitches be crazy" isn't acceptable either. Women hate the phrase and they loudly object to its use. For them to then turn around and say that they're justified in saying "men are trash" and men should grin and bear it is just blatant hypocrisy.

Men could just as easily say "if you're not a crazy bitch, you shouldn't be offended when I say bitches be crazy". But that's not a valid defence either and women just won't tolerate it. So they have no right to think men should tolerate "men are trash" if they're "not one of the men we're talking about".

Cookiedoughjunkie · 2020-07-11T07:08:47+00:00

Reddit is filled with men who believe they need to appease women or at the very least need to look woke in order to be accepted.

Iamnotcreative112123 · 2020-07-11T07:43:37+00:00

I think one commenter said it best.

They're justifying bigotry in the same way that racists do with terrorism and violent crime.

peanutbutterjams · 2020-07-11T09:00:50+00:00

Yeah I'm all over that thread. It was pretty depressing. A lot of justifications for outright hate.

My takeaways:

#MenAreTrash is hate speech. I'm done dancing around that fact.
Anybody who says "If you're not trash, don't let it affect you" needs to apply that logic to racists saying racist thing about other races and see how well that scans. Yeah. Didn't think so. Be morally consistent.
The whole "punching up" excuse is bullshit. When you're punching, you're punching individuals, not groups, and in an indiscriminate fashion. You're punching depressed men. You're punching men who have been abused. You're punching boys. You're punching marginalized people by any definition of intersectionalism because nobody is JUST a man.

Edit: Also, I reported the comment that said "Most men are trash". It was promoting hate based on identity, which breaks Reddit's site-wide rules. I probably should have reported the entire thread.

For those who don't know, you can report directly to admins here. I encourage everyone here to report misandry on Reddit when you see it as it is against the rules as stated.

dtyler86 · 2020-07-11T07:17:48+00:00

Holy crap, that’s a hard to read thread. Just went in and saw the most blatant one sided defense of “all men are trash”

Forgetaboutthelonely · 2020-07-11T10:11:28+00:00

Reading through the comments and I found one worth saving.

I think it’s very telling of the state of society, that someone can post something that says “Even though I understand many men are bad, I don’t like that some women say that every last man on earth is trash regardless of context,” and one of the highest-upvoted responses is a five-pointed bullet list as to why men just need to deal with it because we have our share of bad apples who are causing the problem all on our own independently of women.

To the first point, it’s not about any individual woman who’s saying it, and it’s not a claim that even very many say it; it’s about how the ones who DO say it can get away with it. In one of my college classes, someone said word-for-word the sentence “all men are trash” as the answer to a question about psychology, and got thunderous applause for it. That would NEVER happen in reverse, regardless of circumstance.

To the second, I don’t think you get to say “we” in reference to EVERY woman out there. OP isn’t referring to women who badmouth individual men or tend to have negative experiences, OP is talking about women who go into every situation with the default mindset of “if you’re male, you have to prove why you are worth anything to society,” which is different than what you’re talking about. The women who say this are an extremely small minority, but they’re vocal and they exist, and they don’t get nearly as much censure as bad men when they say similar things in public.

To the third point, that’s grounds to say “at least some men are dangerous and ought to take more responsibility for their actions, especially in an example like walking down a dark street alone at night.” It’s an entirely different scenario than a non-contextualized, sweeping statement that “if you’re male you’re a bad person, end of story.” Trying to say that this and that are the same, shows a lack of understanding of what OP is trying to get at with their post.

To the fourth, ever since I was 15 I’ve been making efforts to be nice, avoid bad crowds, actively stamp down on sexist jokes, etc., but the MOMENT that I step outside of the circle of people who personally know me, when I interact with strangers, I have to re-justify my existence every time I talk to someone with the mindset “man = bad.” I’m sure that it’s not as bad out in the real world, but for me at least, before the Covid outbreak, I lived on a college campus where it’s IMPOSSIBLE to dodge those people even when I make active efforts to do so. It’s depressing, both in the colloquial and in the medical sense, and I would be shocked if it was significantly different for other men in similar situations to me.

To the fifth, that’s putting a lot of pressure on victims, regardless of if it’s a man or woman being told that. REGARDLESS of gender, if you watch someone point at someone else and say “you are a waste of space, and you don’t deserve to exist,” the appropriate response should NEVER be to just walk away and expect that the person who was told that “ought to be confident enough” to know that it’s not true.

That last one isn’t even a gendered issue, or specific to one type of interaction, I think that one is just you not realizing that “expect people to deal with it in a calm, confident, and rational manner without bothering anyone about it” is a horrible answer to dealing with emotional issues and hate speech, especially on a large scale.

Thank you /u/klench_ for speaking out against this in a kind and well thought out manner.

accidental_me · 2020-07-11T08:50:23+00:00

OP: "A LOT of men" who are trash. A sexist piece of shit.

Edit: I believe that "there is no evil, only ignorance". this goes for men, too. If you're willingly evil, you're sick, a psychopath.

ShaderzXC · 2020-07-11T12:02:18+00:00

Just saw this linked from that thread, as a 16 year old this doesn’t fill me with too much hope for when I get older

psilorder · 2020-07-11T17:39:03+00:00

Current top post (sorting by top) excuses saying "men are trash" with that "All men who harrass women as well as their silently complicit friends are trash" is too long. ..."I say the the bad thing because the correct thing is too much work" ?

People arguing with her are "invalidating her life experience" and "are not defending themselves unless they're the bad ones".

Why is the defense "if you don't do this you shouldn't be offended" ? The offense clearly comes from being targeted by things that are wrong.

She further down says she is white and christian and isn't affected when people say that white people and christians have done bad things to them. it's not the same. That would be the same as "men have been trash to me/women/people". It contains a limitation. What if someone said "christians are trash" ?

BrokenDeity1 · 2020-07-11T17:33:33+00:00

Male self-loathing and misandry is the norm...

IntactBroadSword · 2020-07-11T18:42:36+00:00

Society in general is gynocentric

hypercube885 · 2020-09-16T05:19:34+00:00

It's like you don't even hear yourselves. You're fucking disgusting.

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