Why Is Dating So Hard For Men In The Modern World?

63daddy · 2021-09-19T15:21:59+00:00

Society is becoming more and more hypergamous. This is precisely why we see more incels and more men going their own way.

evenmoremeancomments · 2021-09-19T10:16:00+00:00

Dating apps give women an infinite amount of different men to choose from, so naturally they choose the best ones. This gives them confidence ("I can get any man I want") and entitlement ("I'll only get the best men around"). Add that to the modern rhetoric that "if you're a woman you're always beautiful any way you are and don't let people tell you otherwise" and you have lack of effort from their part in the dating scene. All of this spills out of dating apps and into the dating world and boom there you have it. It's a losing battle, you're better off not participating at all and focus on yourself and your goals. It's more worthwhile as well

Kaputz77 · 2021-09-19T15:15:47+00:00

I have been out and about in the dating world for some time now. I am a 44 year old divorced man with two school aged children. Over the past 8 months I have been on dates with 18 different women and made some detailed notes on my experiences with each of them (both in person and in text discussions). This effort originally was a means to help me better understand them but also protect myself against ending up in another terrible relationship. Please note that what I am describing is my personal experience and is a generalization of women who are in the dating world. Always remember that the women in the dating world are a different subset of the rest of the world of women.

Let's break this down in simple terms. Women like to shop, women are attracted always to new and flashy things and some women see dating choices as infinite when they first start out after the end of a relationship.

Based on that generalization, many women I have spoken to offer a limited amount of effort early on because they are spoiled for choice. This comes in the form of half responses in text discussions or huge delays in responses or barely engaging at all. This itself is a red flag as they are likely playing the game of which "man" they "think" is best. Because they like new and flashy, the flashy dudes rise to the top. Women looking for an ego boost will be attracted to flashy guy and then end up disappointed when flashy guy bangs them and runs away. Then we gwt the whole "men are trash" phenomenon when in reality women make bad choices based on superficial crap, get burned for it and then lack accountability, shift the blame to a faceless "men" and repeat their mistakes.

This combination of ego boosting, lack of self validation and being spoiled for choice results in us really good men having to compete with fake and flashy man who doesn't actually represent his true self. To combat this crap, I do a good job with my dating profile, say what I mean, be true to who I am and don't accept bullshit or half effort. When I am getting little responses from women, I respectfully call them out and tell them I will make my effort elsewhere. They either start matching my effort, get mad and insult me (without cause because I am always respectful) or they unmatch/block/ignore. Either way, you have yiur answer and you can go from there.

Women are attracted to confidence. If you project confidence and draw a line and stuck to it, they either want it or they don't. I can always tell which women are low quality based on their responses to me drawing that respectful line.

Never be afraid to unmatch and walk away. Don't waste your time on shallow women looking to stroke their ego or seek validation. Be respectful with your intentions and your boundaries. Be patient. There are good women... like I said, I have seen 18 women now. All but one I ended it with. One chose to end it with me because she made a choice for another man but was respectful with me. The rest I ended due to various reasons including monkey branching, dishonesty, Catfish, distance, life goals and general "WTF" (there are a lot of WTFs).

Datinf is only hard if your mind is stuck on it being a test of your manhood. Do your thing, be confident in what you do and protect yourself and your interests at all costs. Own you shit and be respectful. You will get dates.

SolarEngine89 · 2021-09-20T07:05:56+00:00

Because people rely too much on dating apps, consume too much media and are brainwashed into thinking, that sex is an ultimate final goal of existence. Both men and women. This leads to a complete, that if you do not fuck somebod, than you are less of a human. As a result people become far less selective and far more desperate. So, any partner will do.

Also, young people become more incompetent in relationships, not willing to understand each other, and chasing some Disney fantasy instead of real relationships.

This all leads to fucked up dating.

MrRonchito · 2021-09-19T09:27:17+00:00

I've been married for years now, but I understand why it's "hard" to date now, mostly because this feminism bs has been spreading like a virus lately, plus it's really dangerous to date since any woman can easily destroy your life in any court.

Vidar34 · 2021-09-19T16:34:21+00:00

Before the internet women competed with each other over the top 20% of men in their local hangout places. Now, women are competing with each other over the top 5% of men they can find online.

rabatek · 2021-09-19T08:51:45+00:00

Get a cat or dog, it's way better than a woman

Nayko214 · 2021-09-19T17:50:00+00:00

Because women have all the power, refuse to give it up, and then cry sexism when you point this out, constantly falling back on the 'but but but we could get raped!" even though the vast majority of men don't and never will rape a woman. Its brutally unfair and when men point this out we're told 'life isn't fair, now excuse us as we promote something to make things more fair to women because that's IMPORTANT damn it!"

DavidByron2 · 2021-09-19T15:53:49+00:00

Feminism is a hate movement that's being actively promoted by the government. It's like asking was it hard for Jews to date non-Jews in Nazi Germany.

DonDuarte · 2021-09-19T18:14:29+00:00

So after 3 years past my last relationship, I felt lonely and in the need of female care. Always looked for the next girlfriend. Talked to many girls, showed my interest but always refused to simp. As in, I talked and approached whoever felt approachable, if they didn't reciprocate I moved on. Got ghosted countless times. I ghosted other countless times because they were so empty in their heads it wasn't even fun talking to them (albeit less ghosting on my part than being ghosted). Eventually I found a girl I've liked, who seemed different from all the others, seemed worth investing. Here I am, 2 months later. She dumped me because I couldn't give her a relationship. Gave her lots of love, but it wasn't enough.

1) Her dream house costs over 1.5 million euros. She said she would be unhappy if she had to settle for less. I asked her who'd pay for it. She replied "me" without an itch. So I started calculating how much she'd have to earn to pay for that house. We found out that if she ended up earning the same wage as our president, she'd need to work for 15 years and not spend a single euro to pay for the whole house. I told her I couldn't promise living a life of debt. That I'd rather stay humble and work towards my goals but without trying to eat more than I could chew.

2) She wanted kids early. Not one. She wanted to have a boy and a girl and she would try until she succeeded. Two boys? Nope, 3rd child required. Two girls? You get her idea. I told her I don't plan on having kids before my thirties (I'm 25). They cost money and they need a full-time job worth of care. She understood it as "he doesn't want kids until I'm too old, if he leaves me ill be too old to ask for another man of his level the same, it'll be too late. I get her. But she wanted to force me into promises I couldn't afford. Do I plan on having kids eventually? Maybe. If the circumstances of life allow me to. I'll never change that answer until I'm ready.

3) We live in different cities. I live in the city I was born and raised. I have friends from childhood living near me. She lives in the city where she went for uni. The friends she has there she knows them for 3 years or less. We met on her city of birth and growth, where I happen to have a summer house. I wouldn't mind moving there. I wouldn't mind if she came to my city. But living in the city she's currently living is just stressful. It's the capital of my country. Everything is super expensive, lots of traffic, lots of unsafe neighbourhoods. She's never been to my city but she outright refused to consider moving in. There was no flexibility. It was either the city she wanted or nothing.

So I came to understand these 3 points during the last week before we broke up. Before then I had told her my struggles with past relationships, how I've been depressed due to it and how I have serious issues opening my heart up to someone and actually dedicating myself to love that person. She told me countless times in bed that she'd take care of me. She'd heal me. That she loved me and found me amazing. I could only utter I loved her twice, both times while drunk. That word still makes me shake today. But I always showed her how much I became invested into her. She broke up with me sending a text message during my work hours. "I don't see a future in our relationship, I love you but this is the best for me, bye".

Why is dating so hard for men? Now I have to go through another process that lasted 3 years during my last attempt. She can just go to a bar at night and there will be some random dude doing whatever he can to fuck her in the ass, including promising her whatever she wants to hear. He'll then dump her and make her feel like shit but do you think she will learn her lesson? Nope. She will have access to rebound after rebound. Only when she gets old enough so men don't look at her the same way is when she will remember be and how I fucking broke down while calling her and telling her that she'd asked for my love, knew of my scars and opened my wounds again, leaving me to lick them again, all by myself.

odd_federal34 · 2021-09-19T10:00:56+00:00

Women have much more options resulting they come after better looking guys or with better status. Average guys are needy, they simp and are always accessible. It's not so hard for women to hookup with top tier guys but he will probably never settle with that women. Because of that women feel they can always do better. There is a huge awakening for them after 30-35 years old. Foucs on yourself, don't do porn.

BeNice_777 · 2021-09-19T15:44:24+00:00

Don't fool yourself. It isn't any harder than it ever was and in some ways it's much easier. Put down your phone, go offline and get back into the real world. Do something interesting and find someone who likes to do the same.

This isn't rocket science.

Largedragon666 · 2021-09-19T10:25:46+00:00

The beauty standards, Feminism, Independen women, Another reason why men swap they're hunting grounds to asia or third world countries, Less feminism and lower beauty standards.

TheBootyologst · 2021-09-19T15:06:40+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Lice138 · 2021-09-19T20:01:29+00:00

Because you must be 6 feet tall, dad bod or rent a boy body (whatever is fashionable right now) , a beard, make 100k as a Rocket Scientist doctor and a feminist with political ideas that match mine even though I do not know enough about politics to hold the opinions I have.

WakeUpBeoreTheEnd · 2021-09-20T00:54:43+00:00

Social media stroking their egos making them they think they are divine creatures. My advice stop dating completely unless you want a headache with false accusations. I’m never having a gf again

reddut_gang · 2021-09-19T12:54:59+00:00

I'm not sure, but I don't think joining a movement that prides itself on involuntary celibacy is the right solution. Incels are some of the most frustrating people to work with. I understand that they are going through some tough shit emotionally but goddamn, they are quite annoying.

DHAN150 · 2021-09-19T08:47:34+00:00

Is it that hard?

vegan____________ · 2021-09-19T08:50:09+00:00

I think some people just do badly when it comes to dating and like to blame it on 'women' or 'society'.

WeaknessTechnical654 · 2021-09-19T16:21:02+00:00

Expectations on men.

piasladic · 2021-09-20T21:02:41+00:00

I wonder what ages you have lived in to know it was less difficult then. Middle age, Plasticine?

For me, it was easy... mostly finding people interested in the same thing and not being an entitled jerk.

Infovore777 · 2021-09-25T14:27:29+00:00

Women generally do not get interested in most compatible men emotionally over the internet.
Men get interested emotionally in most compatible AND INCOMPATIBLE women over the internet.

So you got women rejecting their best chance at a 'lived happily ever after' and men chasing some one with endless red flags who doesn't have decent communication skills.

As most of our interactions happen online now...

Title	Why Is Dating So Hard For Men In The Modern World?
Author	SpiritusExAaron
Upvotes	12
Comments	87
Date	September 19, 2021 8:34 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/pr46ck/why_is_dating_so_hard_for_men_in_the_modern_world/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/why-is-dating-so-hard-for-men-in-the-modern-world.1075607 https://theredarchive.com/post/1075607

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