The "women initiate most divorces" argument. Let's chat about the reasons.

63daddy · 2021-10-25T20:08:18+00:00

People act on incentive. Women file for divorce more, because they have more to gain via divorce.

Unfortunately I no longer can find it, but I once read an article that showed a strong correlation between women filing for divorce and state laws regarding alimony.

slipkid223 · 2021-10-25T23:20:49+00:00

"That they like having a maid, or someone to plan family outings."

Like most modern wives do either of those LOL

LoveHotelCondom · 2021-10-26T02:08:16+00:00

Men are taught to bury their feelings deep inside, put up with it, and when they can't find happiness, to blame themselves.

I read a fascinating study a while back about how women's satisfaction in a relationship was the primary factor for their happiness in life. Men's satisfaction in a relationship was irrelevant; their wives' satisfaction, however, was a crucial aspect to their own overall happiness levels.

The message was fairly clear. Men will suffer in a loveless marriage in silence as long as their wives aren't. Women will take their spouses down with them.

rabel111 · 2021-10-25T23:26:08+00:00

Hard to estimate the number of men living in toxic relationships with abusive partners due to draconian family laws. There is a very high probibility that separation from their spouse means loss of meaningful contact with their children. In addition, their severe and repeated grief is unacknowledged or ridiculed in family courts and treated as an predictor of violence against women, without any services to help.

All too often, men remain in these failled abusive relationships until their partners file for divorce or they experience a catastrophic mental/emotional health event.

skymonstef · 2021-10-25T19:39:38+00:00

I mean let's talk about zero fault meaning you don't even need a reason

Raychao · 2021-10-26T00:14:01+00:00

From what I can see there are two main reasons why women initiate divorce more frequently than men.. 1) The main breadwinner is usually the man and the main breadwinner stands to lose assets and time with the kids 2) Men in general are more socialised to work at a failing relationship.. Men are told that if their wife is unhappy he needs to step-up and be a man to fix it.. Women on the other hand are socialised to believe that if a relationship doesn't feel right then there is something wrong and she should leave that relationship.. Men tend to love idealistically whereas women tend to love pragmatically.. Men have terms of endearment for their wives (my better half, she who must be obeyed etc).. Women have been given permission by society (just look at any TV ad or sitcom) to consider their husbands as lumpy, oafish, cucks..

Now of course in reality both men and women have numerous personal quirks and flaws, and no two people are completely compatible, but in general it has been my experience that men try harder to see past her flaws than she does to see past his flaws..

NDabhetari · 2021-10-26T05:28:52+00:00

I feel it’s because there’s no real punishment for a divorce if your a woman. I’m not big on western rules and such but don’t women usually get half or something unless there’s a prenup which women don’t usually wanna sign anyway. If it affected everyone equally I’d feel there be less divorces like how there’s not really a punishment if people make false accusations of rape.

Some even go into marriages looking to divorce and that is a issue because there’s nothing that says they shouldn’t. If anything some gain.

Jolt_Ready_95 · 2021-10-26T14:14:58+00:00

What they think: Women initiate most divorces. That shows they are more oppressed.

What it actually is: Women initiate most divorces because they can gain free money called 'alimony'. They can get all the emotional support they need and are less likely to be asked 'what went wrong?'.

Just think; if two persons know that an by an incident if one person gains something and one person loses something, which person is more likely to cause they incident?

Funny_Wolverine_9 · 2021-10-27T01:49:40+00:00

Don't waste your time using logic with feminists. Use your energy and speak with other men and show them statistics. The message needs to get out to all men that:

50% of all marriages in divorce.
80% of all divorces/separations are initiated by the women.
90% of custody orders are given to Mothers.

The stats show that marriage is HIGH RISK gamble for modern men. Do not forget that divorce usually means you have to pay her child support and alimony until kids finish college.

sleepyJoeBidet · 2021-10-27T20:18:13+00:00

It could also be that the woman just realizes it is over sooner. As supposed to the man who hopelessly hold onto something doomed ( throwing good money after bad). Even for women it often doesn't make financial sense to divorce.

I d int think you can tie such an emotional institution as marriage so tightly to such practicalities.

DestructionDestroyer · 2021-10-25T18:37:47+00:00

You’re probably right that women initiate divorce more frequently because they want it settled legally and financially.

But I have heard men bring this up to “prove” women are of bad character.

It’s fine for men to talk about this the way you have framed it imho.

Sun-Kizzed · 2021-10-26T17:57:39+00:00

If I’m going to be honest, I think, if we’re going to be in this subreddit, we need to get the sex roles out of our head if we hate them so much. The last paragraph explains sex roles perfectly. There has been a fair share of women who have more income than men in some marriages, and fathers on more of the other role of “co-parenting, cooking and cleaning” have had those experiences too. A bit invalidating to the men who stay home or even just support their children more.

But think about it like this: the supporting husband does lose that help. You are right. But if the mother needs a place to stay, can’t pay for the house they’re in and still has custody of the kids, she doesn’t gain much from it either. This can work both ways, roles switched or not. And as nice as money is for the lower-income parent, it simply depends on how much the higher-income one is making. It’s not always a livable amount and normally doesn’t last forever.

It’s not like people “want” to go through the hardships of getting a divorce. But whether you’re abused, in an unhealthy / unfixable relationship, sometimes it’s for the best.

Title	The "women initiate most divorces" argument. Let's chat about the reasons.
Author	DestructionDestroyer
Upvotes	74
Comments	30
Date	October 25, 2021 2:11 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/qfhlpr/the_women_initiate_most_divorces_argument_lets/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/the-women-initiate-most-divorces-argument-lets.1081910 https://theredarchive.com/post/1081910

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