It's been more than three years since I've abandoned The Red Pill, yet I still find it hard to understand how I ended up there. I've managed to ruin my life when I had an opportunity to move to a much bigger city where I finally applied all of my "Red pill knowledge" that I was accumulating over the years.

After I saw how much damage The Red Pill has inflicted on me, and how much damage I've inflicted on others, I realized The Red Pill was a huge mistake. My entire life fell apart within days, and it no longer made any sense for me to be there. I hoped I would be able to rebuild my life once I left that place, but three years later, every single day, I think about my past mistakes every day, and I cannot move on.

I talked to some mental health professionals, but I was never open and honest with them. Mostly because I don't think they can help me, because they don't have experience with this kind of stuff. I'd probably have to look for help abroad, I don't feel like doing it right now. I don't think it's worth it. And I don't think I'm "cured." I simply keep myself isolated from other people. I used to like to hang out with people (before TRP but especially after TRP), and right now, I don't remember the last time I talked to anyone. Every day is the same, and I don't believe things will get better at any point in the future.