How to avoid getting bitter/angry over lack of dating success?

wtknight · 2021-11-27T16:43:47+00:00

No advice posts. Also, no men asking men or women asking women questions.

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ToughAnswers · 2021-11-27T16:35:27+00:00

Any suggestions?

What are your flaws? Any of them physical/fixable. Weight?

dbz19 · 2021-11-27T16:40:34+00:00

It's difficult because getting bitter and angry is the natural reaction.

I think just remember that getting angry alone and spending your whole life angry isn't worth it. You don't want to waste away feeling miserable. It's not good for your health, it's not good for your body or your psyche. Do things to improve your situation, but don't let the anger take a hold of you.

It can be addicting to doomscroll on the internet but if you feel the anger and negative emotions taking over you, take a break, do something else. Play video games, go for a walk, talk to people.

ohheyhi99 · 2021-11-27T16:41:14+00:00

Remember that there are probably lots of women who would treat you very well, even if you might not meet them or be interested in them (and you don’t have to be).

TomorrowsWar · 2021-11-27T16:42:37+00:00

It’s a good question. What makes this difficult is realizing bitterness, anger, and resentment are all a choice. What helps is to recognize that there are billions of people on earth and one person not being “the one” is just putting you one step closer to finding someone who is.

Do not take early stages of dating personally. If you date someone for 3 months and it doesn’t work out, remember they don’t really know you for who you are. Their decision to not see you anymore is not personal, there’s no way you can show someone all you have to offer as a person at this point. If you get pumped and dumped or ghosted it’s also not personal. Sometimes the little time you have with a person is all they have to offer you.

Don’t go into a Burger King and get mad when they don’t have pizza. Accept that sometimes a burger and fries are nice but it’s not what you were looking for to begin with.

Always ask what you can learn from this and pay attention to your anger. What is it telling you?

Examples:

mad because you got your hopes up too soon? Feelings of neediness show you’re missing something, you need someone’s validation to feel good. What can you do about that?
angry you’ve been rejected? Now that you know this person is not for you, why do you want them to choose you? You’ll often find it’s out of convenience or because of your own ego. You can address your ego with yourself
mad because you said or did something to make them lose interest? Accept that whether it’s reasonable or not… emotionally the issue proves an incompatibility. Those are important because some things cannot be worked through.
mad because you’re alone again? Ask yourself why you don’t like being alone. Are you looking for sex? Approval? Validation? Company? To “start” something with someone?

Listen to people like Dr joe dispenza and Abraham hicks

wub1234 · 2021-11-27T16:44:00+00:00

Firstly, you have to become adept at observing your own emotions, and then consciously discourage them when negative examples emerge. Once you become conscious of your emotions, when you get into a certain mindset you can literally consciously tell yourself not to think that way, instead encouraging thought patterns that support your growth and advancement.

Secondly, instead of focusing on the negatives in your personal situation, put the emphasis on the positives. Be grateful for the good things in your life and celebrate them. Actively display gratitude for the simplest things that many of us take for granted.

Thirdly, do positive things. Eat healthily, spend time in the countryside, discover your core values and then direct your life towards what is important to you.

Finally, try to cultivate the attitude of getting up every day and making each day the best that it can be. Forget about yesterday - that's over. Just get up tomorrow, try to develop healthy and constructive habits, be grateful for what you have, set yourself goals and work towards them, make this day a positive day. If you don't succeed, don't beat yourself up, just try again tomorrow.

If you do all of these things then you will significantly diminish the likelihood of becoming embittered and greatly increase the chances of having a happy, fulfilled and successful life.

Demasii · 2021-11-27T16:44:19+00:00

How often do you have the chance to come across bitter? Just in social conversation about relationships at work or out with friends?

I learn of bitter men when they are drunk. They were not fun at parties.

2021-11-27T16:44:36+00:00

Just use it productively.I’m pretty radically misogynistic and hate women but I just use it to work on myself.

Hating them is fine as long as you don’t let it consume you.

LackOf_Empathy · 2021-11-27T16:47:45+00:00

Don't make dating a priority and think more like it's an accessorie to add in your life.

calfshrug · 2021-11-27T17:00:50+00:00

This might be a sexist subreddit if we can’t have discussion with others of the same sex

Title	How to avoid getting bitter/angry over lack of dating success?
Author	Elnativez
Upvotes	1
Comments	12
Date	November 27, 2021 4:33 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/r3h40b/how_to_avoid_getting_bitterangry_over_lack_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-to-avoid-getting-bitterangry-over-lack-of.1086275 https://theredarchive.com/post/1086275

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