Girl I hard nexted unexpectedly tried to call me...

notmyusualreddit · 2016-08-03T09:28:29+00:00

Hard nexting is a decision you stick with because it's in your best interest, not a tactic you use to get her to bend slightly and help you regain a tiny bit of upper hand.

SunnyFoxes · 2016-08-03T13:12:46+00:00

She still wants you as an orbitor.

She just "wanted to talk"...

Translation...

"I want a 'safe' guy that I can use as an emotional tampon."

Tag you're it.

Use your time more constructively. Find a woman that wants you.

the-bum-hammer · 2016-08-03T13:34:37+00:00

"I called you the other night because I needed someone to talk to..."

Talk to about what? She needs to complain that she doesn't know why she still sucks the dick of that asshole? lol

Ignore her.

2016-08-03T15:39:30+00:00

"I called you the other night because I needed someone to talk to. Not because I needed a ride."

Translation:"I called you the other night because I needed a ride"

vandaalen · 2016-08-03T14:39:20+00:00

"I called you the other night because I needed someone to talk to. Not because I needed a ride."

Not the best solution, but I maybe couldn't resist answering with "thats the problem baby. i dont need someone to talk to but someone to ride".

That's why I also block their numbers.

brooklynisburnin · 2016-08-03T14:51:06+00:00

Trust your judgement as time and present context can make you forget things, you chose to hard next, surely the reason behind that is still valid.

2016-08-03T12:03:31+00:00

I'm not sure what you really mean by hard- and soft-next, but in my opinion you hard-next women you without doubt, never-ever intend to sleep with. All others are soft-next until/if they come around and change their minds.

Which she might have done. But if she "wanted someone to talk to" then she might have been looking for her old orbiter.

Make it clear to her what the terms and conditions of your relationship is. You're not interested in "just being friends" and if that's not an option you "find it difficult to be someone to talk to".

If she's interested she get to play, and if she's not then none of you need to waste time trying to get something you won't get.

2016-08-03T14:30:18+00:00

"I called you the other night because I needed someone to talk to. Not because I needed a ride."

First, why does she refer to getting free rides from you?

Second, note how in those few words she mentions her needs twice, but there's no mention of you or her wanting to talk to you. She needs someone, anyone, for the purpose of listening to her shit, like she usually needs someone to drive her around.

That does not sound too promising, but it's always worth a try to see if your unavailability has created some attraction. Like someone said, I'd tell her to come to your place. But I'd also add something to make sure she's clear about your intent and make sure to polarize her, so that 1. you won't waste your time if she's really NOT into you and 2. it will make her anticipate why she's coming and make it harder to pretend she didn't know what you meant.

"Oh so you're missing me? That's cute :) I'm a bit busy right now, come to my place thursday at 9PM and we can talk."

BusterVadge · 2016-08-03T15:07:17+00:00

"is it possible I missed an opportunity to escalate something here?" - You need more abundance mentality is all. There are a million other girls like her, hotter than her that you'll have opportunities with.

2016-08-03T12:50:59+00:00

I would tease her about wanting a ride. In the age of Uber and Lyft, friends, social media, GPS in your pocket, and you got called for a ride. Keep it light and playful, I would even neg the bitch right off the bat to soften her up then escalate. If she ends up backing out of plans, backing out after the kiss, or trying to have a discussion over text - ignore her as she's just butt hurt you ditched her. You didn't next her because you didn't take a shot at it yet.

SexistFlyingPig · 2016-08-03T15:33:12+00:00

She was clear as day: she wanted you to be her orbiter, someone to talk to, maybe someone to solve her problems and help her boyfriend move.

I don't see any reason for you to reach out to her.

2016-08-03T17:02:38+00:00

Still not seeing value.

If the call was to suck your dick? Maybe. But to walk back from pack mule to emotional tampon?

Surely you have better things to do

MattyAnon · 2016-08-03T18:01:25+00:00

Why the hard next.... because she didn't fuck you? If so, that's you giving up rather than hard nexting her. (And yes - very often you should give up, not saying that's wrong).

What do you want here?

"Someone to talk to" could mean literally anything.

SexySmexxy · 2016-08-03T18:39:07+00:00

"because I needed someone to talk to"

GuestsGetGreens · 2016-08-04T03:04:53+00:00

"Oh you can have a ride alright, but I'll pass on the talking part."

notmyusualreddit · 2016-08-29T16:40:04+00:00

So how did it go OP?

Title	Girl I hard nexted unexpectedly tried to call me...
Author	MJive
Upvotes	13
Comments	46
Date	August 3, 2016 9:12 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4vxm0c/girl_i_hard_nexted_unexpectedly_tried_to_call_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/girl-i-hard-nexted-unexpectedly-tried-to-call-me.109233 https://theredarchive.com/post/109233

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