GF told me a gym guy complimented her looks... did I fail?

ItsTheHomeWrecker · 2016-08-25T21:24:32+00:00

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SexySmexxy · 2016-08-25T23:48:30+00:00

you did fine

Don_Keydick · 2016-08-25T20:24:39+00:00

I'm in a LTR and it's very powerful to just stay silent with text. Whenever my girlfriend is texting boring or she says something that I don't really like, i just put my phone away and resume my day. Hours later I'll either ignore her text and just be like 'hey what's up' or depending on what she said, I'll just reply 'good for you'.

Lately she's been apologizing a lot for things I really didn't care about and saying how much she appreciates me. Feels good.

PhoneticJustice · 2016-08-25T20:48:30+00:00

“Oh I love it, another guy doing my job for me."

“Sweet, now I never have to compliment you"

Quick edit: make sure your tone is very light, and do something like petting the top of her head

redditatt · 2016-08-25T19:39:00+00:00

She was seeking validation and you didn't give it to her. I'd say you passed. Don't address it over text. If she brings it up in person again- blank stare, Ryan Gosling style.

anotherswingingdick · 2016-08-26T07:02:55+00:00

you must face the reality that she is not 100% all in with commitment to you.

No big deal. You don't really even know if you'll be alive in 24 hours. She is just not as important to your life's mission as you thought.

let her feel dread. If she mouthes off about it, act irritated and tell her to bother that guy at the gym, not you.

brooklynisburnin · 2016-08-25T22:34:57+00:00

Seems like a shit test, you applied some sort of dread by ignoring it, it worked and the hamster went mach 3 on her ass.

Just brush it off and ignore the subject if she brings it up.

MOCKxTHExCROSS · 2016-08-26T00:35:04+00:00

This should be a regular occurrence for you. No need to give it a second thought. Whatever you do, do not resort to mate-guarding behavior.

[deleted] · 2016-08-26T09:06:23+00:00

Ignoring a text is never a bad response. You always have plausible deniability that you were simply to busy to give a fuck about her text or didn't even see it.

Just act like she never said that and if she brings it up ever again and you have to react: just act like you don't give a single shit

ECoast_Man · 2016-08-26T12:57:31+00:00

Let's get this out of the way - you handled it correctly by not responding. It rarely goes astray to not respond, unless you're a text whore and it is extremely out of character and may look butthurt. Of course, you should never be a text whore, so let's assume you know that.

However dude, this was a shit test. Make no mistake. It's not worth losing your shit in and of itself, but look at her response when you didn't text back. She fucking knew it was out of line. Add to the list of red flags. Let's hope it isn't a deep one.

dr_warlock · 2016-08-25T22:46:06+00:00

Beta bait. It's a trap.

redpillnexus · 2016-08-26T21:16:39+00:00

Not responding was a good idea. You also could have agreed and amplified. Make a joke about the guy or her.

perrygalson · 2016-08-25T22:58:57+00:00

She going to get attention and she should ignore the guy or tell him straight 'No'. By telling you, your girlfriend is disresrespecting you by testing if you're ok with her sleeping with another guy. why else would she think you need to know she got hit on!?

The moments past, but shes still thinking about that guy hitting on her while shes texting you, telling you like you're her best friend / emotional tampon.

knightSwolaire · 2016-08-25T21:37:23+00:00

Something like this happened to me a few weeks ago. GF said her trainer made a comment about 'increasing her flexibility' and winked at her.

I just sent a 'wink' emoji back. honestly i dgaf what her trainer said and she can get hit on for all i care.

ExiledNihilist · 2016-08-26T04:44:46+00:00

When my LTR tells me dudes hit on her, I always laugh and ask if they did a good job. The responses are generally "no haha he was super creepy/i told him i wasn't single" etc. Laugh it off. You being insecure about this is a total shit test, and if you break frame, it'll bite you in the ass in the long run.

UnluckyPenguin · 2016-08-25T23:37:44+00:00

Relax.

I don't know about your situation, but my SMV is so high that my go-to response is always something playful like: "That's great, I bet he wanted to hook up with you."

It helps having a significant other that's equally secure and can say the same things back.

Besides, if she does cheat, she just made your life easier by filtering herself out of it. We need to keep an abundance mentality.

Good luck!

Title	GF told me a gym guy complimented her looks... did I fail?
Author	practice-trp
Upvotes	23
Comments	47
Date	August 25, 2016 7:26 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4zkcgw/gf_told_me_a_gym_guy_complimented_her_looks_did_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/gf-told-me-a-gym-guy-complimented-her-looks-did-i.110286 https://theredarchive.com/post/110286

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