How do I avoid the bad women out there?

AbbreviationsNo7536 · 2022-03-07T21:09:26+00:00

You attract what you put out there. If you hate women who go after assholes, then don’t be an asshole and those women won’t come after you.

AbbreviationsNo7536 · 2022-03-08T01:54:09+00:00

So here’s the thing, the behavior you’re describing—preying on, lying to, and manipulating other people for one’s personal gain—that’s narcissistic personality disorder. If it takes a sadistic turn, and causing other people pain brings them pleasure, that’s sociopathy. Women are not inherently narcissistic or sociopathic, and neither are men. It sounds like you might believe deep down that women are inherently narcissistic and/or sociopathic, perhaps due to traumatic experiences you’ve had with an individual woman who was a narcissistic sociopath. That’s a very extreme belief to hold onto and in the long run it will only cause you suffering. In all seriousness, I would recommend talking to a professional therapist about your fears and getting to the root of them. Most of the time when people talk the way you do about any group of people, they are engaging in extreme generalization as a psychological defense mechanism because they’re experienced trauma. There are tools a therapist can give you to rehumanize other people, like women, in your brain.

I can share my personal experience: I’m not a therapist but I have worked with several over the past ten years because I struggle with fear of men. The root of this fear for me goes back to incidents involving several abusive individuals whose behavior traumatized me, and I have since had to re-program my brain to see men NOT as a monolithic group of violent abusers, but as humans, each with his own interiority, most of whom do not mean me any harm.

That being said, there are some “tells” that narcissists and people with pathologically low empathy have. Here’s a pretty comprehensive list of what it feels like to date a narcissist: https://upjourney.com/signs-you-are-dating-a-narcissist

And here’s more info on narcissistic sociopaths: https://www.verywellmind.com/understanding-the-narcissistic-sociopath-4587611

As for getting away from narcissists before they get their hooks into you, my best advice is to focus on emotionally investing in yourself, building up your own sense of self worth and getting clear yourself on the way you want to be treated by others; avoid getting overly emotionally invested in fantasies of other people. Like someone on a dating app who you haven’t met up with yet or someone you see across the cafeteria but have never spoken to before. Approach dating with the intention of getting to know the other person as a person (not a sexual object), and more importantly, assessing if you like the way they make you feel.

RedPillDetox · 2022-03-08T09:19:29+00:00

I studied Psychology and after years of dating experience i have a counter-intuitive golden rule that applies to both men and women in terms of screening a date:

The more someone invests on superficiality like social status, popularity, confidence, dominance or validation the more anti-social or unhealthy their personality tends to be. And the more they tend to seek these same characteristics they got on others, as what people value in themselves tend to be the same they value in others.

There's a gigantic amount of scentific evidence for this. And almost every mental illness can be traced back to the feeling on not being loved enough or esteemed enough. Therefore, people who have abnormal need for esteem or connection do not tend to give good partners.

Always look at women behavior and think: What's the intent behind her behavior? Is she trying to look good or feel somehow validated or powerful with this said behavior? Be particularly wary of people with emotional needs for status/dominance/power. For people with needs for emotional connection, this doesn't apply as much, unless it's a clearly abnormal (ex.: Clingy) behavioral pattern.

Gaddammitkyle · 2022-03-07T21:00:54+00:00

But in all seriousness, the great thing about toxic women is that they're extremely public about how shitty they are, and they often filter themselves out FOR YOU. Toxic Girls becoming a chameleon to get into the arms of a quality man only works if the man clings to her. Generally if you have any self respect, and listen to the way she talks about others, you'll be able to tell if she's predatory and deceptive, and distance yourself from them.

Also, dont forget that everyone has red flags and many people have trauma from past relationships. Unlearning the bullshit abusive partners put into your head takes time. Some girls act like aggressive toxic shamers because they surround themselves with those same people. You are the sum of the people you associate with most. Once they detox, spend time away from their previously corrupted company and spent time with authentic people, they slowly grow out of it. Some take too long to do this (thus where the 35 year old toxic single mother thing comes into play), but usually all it takes is one bad night to wake a girl out of this lifestyle. It can happen as soon as their first date with an asshole.

Also, you are worried about girls only taking you into consideration AFTER their party years/fun phase/Ho phase. You forget that all humans generally want to explore their options and try out all the sex stuff they can in their 20s, not just women. So, you have a chance to be part of her fling. Are these assholes who get her first really assholes? Or can she hook up with decent dudes who fuck her brains out but just want NSA?

I notice the Narrative many redpillers try to push is that the people looking up their content is that they'll never be one of these dudes who get her during her party years, who dont get to have NSA sex, dont get the threesomes, or any of the wild sex. Basically, redpill content will convince you that getting a girl post-party is beta. That once a girl has her fun, all sexual desires fade from her and she begrudgingly settles with you, wishing she was with Chad.

This is a psyops pushed by PUAs to convince their listeners that if they DONT take heed of the PUAs knowledge, that they'll be doomed to a life of boring responsibilities with no sex with a remorseful alpha widow. Basically a visual novel-style bad ending with a dead bedroom.

Salesmen, grifters and online demagogues love using these psyops to scare their listeners into absorbing their content, because while being a dread-gaming, hypocritical asshole who abandons women who dont put out like pornstars is fucked up and evil, it's a preferable fate to being a naive paypig to a conniving slut.

Dont fall for their psyops. A broken clock is still a broken clock, regardless if it's right twice a day. Women arent Sims that only have 5 personality traits, and you, the reader, are not as beta as the content they produce seems to insinuate. PUAs run game and lie to girls all the time. You really think they wont do the same to their male audience? They're dread gaming you too.

AstroDunce · 2022-03-08T16:40:02+00:00

It comes down to this; know you’re own values.

Bad women aside, You can’t 100% avoid bad people no matter where you are.

If you end up dating what you call a “bad women”, you simply end things with them and try again and again and again. And each time you try again, find what you liked and what you didn’t like about each of these people.

But with that, you have to also look within yourself, and see if anything about you is masking positivity with a negative emotional reaction.

Inevitable-Run-5529 · 2022-03-07T21:40:25+00:00

Look into attachment and differentiation and you’ll get all of your answers

5MinuteMentalFitness · 2022-03-07T22:27:47+00:00

Pm me. I lived with a narc/borderline/bpd/nutcase (her words not mine as she revels in this fact and believes it makes her powerful) for 25+ years in the form of my mother.

I could write a book on each of these subjects as I have seen every negative trait in humanity performed by her.

To answer your question it really comes down to attachment; active listening, etc.

I have yet to meet a securely attached women who was toxic.

Toxic people tend to have broken attachment I healed trauma and an negative coping mechanism or too.

heytheredelilah91 · 2022-03-07T23:56:03+00:00

Look for red flags.

tehWoodcock · 2022-03-08T04:11:58+00:00

You avoid them by allowing yourself to be vulnerable and true towards woman and expressing your emotions, in other words, by being a human being. If you behave as an asshole, and you show no emotion other than anger, you can only attract predatory women who won’t love you… Now you’ll say, women who genuinely love are rare to find, and it’s true. As well as this world is full of assholes, jerks and very bad boys. Many human beings are imperfect and unpleasant, just don’t hate women for that, because that’s the incels’ fake narrative

oldfashion_millenial · 2022-03-20T18:34:22+00:00

Your mentality is all effed up. "Bad women"? LOL Sir do you watch the news or read? The overwhelming majority of crime is committed by men, including rape pedophilia and homicide. As far as everyday weirdos who aren't criminals but just plain mean? Men still hold that medal. It was men, after all, who started the misogynist red pill community. It seems as if you've had bad experiences mostly due to your mindset. You sound judgmental, sexist, and also insecure. Like those men making $75k a year who hate gold diggers. LOL Perhaps you should start with yourself before looking elsewhere. Look in the mirror and ask yourself, what's hurting me? How can I move past this anger and pain? And before your look for a "good" woman...become a good man. Are you able to protect a woman's honor and spirit? Physically protect her? Are you able to provide her a safe space to be feminine? Are you financially stable enough to romance a woman? Good luck!

Title	How do I avoid the bad women out there?
Author	tehWoodcock
Upvotes	1
Comments	38
Date	March 7, 2022 7:49 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/t8xpha/how_do_i_avoid_the_bad_women_out_there/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/how-do-i-avoid-the-bad-women-out-there.1105194 https://theredarchive.com/post/1105194

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