The choice of being a homemaker

Ok_Obligation_6110 · 2022-03-05T17:08:18+00:00

I recently made this shift from a pretty lucrative career to homemaker a few months ago once my husband and I got married and started trying for kids (pregnant with our first on the way!) I can honestly say I never pictured this lifestyle until I met my husband. Not because HE asked for it, but because in talking about our hopes and dreams for the future, we knew we wanted to have multiple children, and be able to raise them ourselves. My husband had a mother who only worked part time most of his childhood so he got a pretty good view of what that was like, and he often credits the fondness he has of his childhood due to the fact that his mother was able to spend so much time with him, and his home was very relaxed when his father came home, and they had and continue to have a very loving marriage. I did not have this experience at all, and had quite the opposite, with both parents constantly working and fighting in the home, I was often sent to stay with extended family for periods at a time because they were so overwhelmed and stressed constantly. After talking about how we wanted our children to grow up, we definitely agreed that his experience was what we want for them. In addition to all of this, I was honestly completely burnt out in my career, I spent so many years putting my all into it - and it paid off! I was getting promotion after promotion, and fast tracked to a senior role in the company, but at home I was always bringing this stress because I was never truly ‘off the clock’. I realized that it wasn’t bringing me fulfillment no matter how good on paper my career seemed to be going. Between all of this my husband and I decided to move up our timeline of me being a homemaker to before we had our kids to right around the time we got married, and I haven’t regretted it since. It comes with its own challenges and I will admit I miss the intellectual stimulation and problem solving I used to partake in at work, but that just means finding other outlets for it! I have a lot more free time so now I read a lot more, have much more time to spend with my husband and have long conversations. I would say if it’s something you haven’t considered before, definitely think about your own life first, and particularly what you want it to look like if you have children.

teaandtalk · 2022-03-06T00:34:17+00:00

In addition to what everyone else is saying:

Ensure that you don't give up your job to stay home without legal protections (marriage or similar).

HappilyMrs · 2022-03-05T17:20:44+00:00

I stopped working when I was pregnant in 2011 and haven't been back. I don't miss it. But I wasnt only working part time retail, so it wasn't something I loved. We'd always planned that I would stop working when we had a child

Advanced_Bar_673 · 2022-03-05T19:41:20+00:00

I'm tackling this mentally as well, however my version is being a SAHW and world nomad with my man. He is making some financial moves and has decided to move in to my place, so we can enjoy the flexibility of us living off dividend stocks and online income as we travel.

I don't have a standard "career". However I do very well financially in my work, and despite not wanting to do my job forever I am having fear, anxiety, and feel vulnerable at trusting him to be the full breadwinner and financial backbone. He is my dream man, and inside I'm scared of messing something up and having it all crash down.

Sometimes, when your dreams come true, it can be scary as sh@t.

I grew up with very little stability and parent figures who never made much effort (so I have abandonment fears), so the generous income my work provides has been the avenue that has helped me to feel stable and secure while allowing for personal freedom and lifestyle flexibility. And it's very scary to think about giving that up and trusting my bf to take care of me and be vulnerable.

Since I don't want to have kids I never thought that one day I might be a SAHW, but I feel so happy and blessed that he has chosen me and chosen this journey together for us.

It really boils down to trust and understanding your role in the relationship, and always trying to be complementary to one another.

Good luck!

Advanced_Tadpole7046 · 2022-03-06T05:29:05+00:00

I was working in banking when I got pregnant and decided to move to a more affordable place so I could be a stay home mom. Few years later i am back working for a big investment firm, i have the biggest office in the branch, nice salary and a lot of opportunity to grow but If we still could afford it, I would immediately trade that to be a full time mom again, homeschooling, taking care of my kids, my house and prepare meals to wow for my husband.

2022-03-10T09:41:32+00:00

I left a six figure career and am now a SAHM, I cherish every crazy although sometimes frustrating and hard minute of it. My children are two and six months old so I never have a moment to myself which can be difficult but I also never miss the important moments or the times they’re in distress and need me.

I’m well educated and had a very demanding career and understand your concerns about lacking intellectual stimulation but your mind doesn’t need to turn to mush. I use my prior skills to ensure that I stay on top of child development theory, nutrition and the educational directions I plan to take my children in. Essentially, I treat being a wife and mother as I did my career I still need to stay up to date with the latest research and work on my professional development.

We live in an upper middle class area, I’d say the majority of women with young children stay home and most are/were highly educated professionals- we’ve formed a terrific mothers group and still discuss current events so my recommendation is to find similarly minded women from your social class.

I highly recommend the book Being There by Erica Komisar it will make you realise just how important being at home with your young children is for their development.

beepincheech · 2022-03-06T01:18:56+00:00

Definitely don’t be playing house with a man who’s not your husband. Personally I didn’t even think about being a housewife until I got really serious about having kids. Then it was just the logical issue of not wanting to have someone else raising them so I can work. I was a midwife before I met my husband. And stopped working now that I’m pregnant. But I was already working a lot less once he got a great paying career. It just made more sense for me to stop working as much at that point, and now with the pregnancy I’m so tired all the time that I can’t do my household duties if I was also working part time. So I gave it up. It doesn’t feel like a big sacrifice to me because keeping my marriage happy and then being a full time mom is more important to me than being a midwife. I’ll likely go back to it once I’m done having kids and they’re all grown though

Bubbly_Window_6719 · 2022-03-05T22:58:41+00:00

I was just about to make it when things started to turn sour. But as the Power wills it - we might emerge stronger and better. So maybe in good time I will try again.

Title	The choice of being a homemaker
Author	frugal10
Upvotes	34
Comments	20
Date	March 5, 2022 4:41 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/t7dcdz/the_choice_of_being_a_homemaker/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/the-choice-of-being-a-homemaker.1105550 https://theredarchive.com/post/1105550

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