I like who I am but it feels like women can't

Inareskai · 2022-03-05T16:04:18+00:00

Which is amusing, given that cats are generally more associated with women.

I think it might be because you're looking at the messaging and what people say women are attracted to... rather than going out (in whichever ways you like best) and actually meeting women.

Speaking as a woman who is married to a guy who is very confident in himself and his convictions, thoughts, values etc but also really very much an introvert who takes a long time to warm up to people.

Women are just as varied as men when it comes to their taste in partners. I'd guess you know that the messages about what men 'want' in a woman aren't the be all and end all of men's attraction, the same is true here.

dongtouch · 2022-03-05T16:45:27+00:00

People in general are more instantly attracted to fun outgoing people. That’s natural. Being quieter and more reserved means it’s harder for people to get to know the real you. But that doesn’t mean women won’t like you, it’s just a little harder to communicate who you are right off the bat and make a connection. So instead of trying to do that at a big party or club, you’d be more successful in a quieter small group or one on one setting.

Lots and lots of people are on the quieter side. And think about this for a moment - so are women. Lots of women are the way you describe yourself. We aren’t some kind of reactive agent that only responds to men. We are our own people with personalities and likes and dislikes. Not all of us are into the same kind of guy or what you are told women are into.

starspider · 2022-03-05T17:08:00+00:00

The problem isn't that women are drWn to those outgoing types so much as the outgoing types tend to draw attention to themselves. Wallflowers don't.

It's hard to become attracted to someone who hasn't caught your attention.

degeT_sTy · 2022-03-05T16:24:03+00:00

Well, I am a cat person anyways and so are a lot of women. It's just that introverts are harder to find but that doesn't mean they are less likeable.

DanMarinosDolphins · 2022-03-05T17:01:14+00:00

I don't think women mind more introverted men. I think there are many negative traits associated with introvertedness and positive traits associated with extrovertedness that aren't necessarily true.

For example, women really like a man who would protect her in a dangerous situation, for example you're walking out of a restaurant at night and a scary drunk man starts heckling her. An introverted man is just as likely as an extroverted man to protect her, but there's this idea that extroverted men will protect a woman, where an introverted man is too shy or meek and won't protect her.

I think women who have had dating experience start to realize that the negative and positive traits they value don't always come in the packages society tells them they will. And women with experience dating also learn there are traits which are socially taught as positive, which in reality are actually pretty negative, like jealously and possessiveness and other sociopathic traits.

I also think it's just easier for extroverts to meet people because that's literally how they relax and recharge. So they just have more opportunities to meet women.

Title	I like who I am but it feels like women can't
Author	WhoDoomsTheDoomer
Upvotes	5
Comments	15
Date	March 5, 2022 3:27 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/t7br7y/i_like_who_i_am_but_it_feels_like_women_cant/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/i-like-who-i-am-but-it-feels-like-women-cant.1105567 https://theredarchive.com/post/1105567

Comments