Hi all,

I've had the distinctive pleasure of becoming closely involved with a Community Center near me over the last year, working in a food bank, soup kitchen and charity shop. I've also participated in various charity events over time, and met plenty of people, male and female, doing these things. Since people often mention "volunteering" as a place to meet guy in the wild, I thought I'd talk a little about the guys I've met in this space.

A caveat: don't do anything with the sole purpose of meeting men. Your life is more important than that, and you have better things to do. That being said, this is Female DATING Strategy, so it's worth taking a few minutes to talk about this. I would never suggest someone decide to volunteer or not to volunteer based solely on the likelihood of meeting a guy. However, I think it’s reasonable to manage your expectations when it comes to finding guys in the big wide world.

When it comes to volunteering, the most important thing is finding something that is meaningful to you, that you’re passionate about and where you feel you can make a difference.

Volunteering is easily the best thing I have ever done, but of the 50 or so guys I have met doing it, I would say maybe 1-2 are potentially HV. Don’t let this deter you from giving back, just don’t go in expecting to meet someone.

The biggest thing to consider is when and where to volunteer: Men who have regular full-time jobs don’t usually volunteer during the week, during regular work hours. Some do (those who have flexible working arrangements, like I do) but for the most part, the guys who are showing up regularly during the week fall into one of a few narrow categories:

  1. They’re retired, which is fine if that’s your age-range, although many of these men are married.

  2. They’re students (high school or college) who need to fill volunteer hours. Again, this can be perfectly fine if you are also under 23.

  3. They’re one of a handful of employees, which is not a bad thing, but many of them (wisely!) would never date a volunteer since it might jeopardize both their job and the institution.

  4. They’re unemployed or unemployable. While you’ll find the (very) occasional guy who is just looking to fill time in-between otherwise lucrative professional roles, most of the men who hang around do so because they cannot find paid employment, and often for very good reasons.

  5. They’re required to do community service hours as part of a sentence or plea deal (enough said).

How do you deal with these realities? Volunteer on the weekends, on evenings, or during time-bound special events, especially popular ones that have no trouble finding lots of volunteers. Many of you have demanding full-time jobs, so it's not like day-time volunteering will be possible for you anyway. Some examples of events that don't require a huge time commitment:

  1. Raffles or auctions

  2. Athletic fundraisers (where you run, bike, etc., for a cause. My personal favourites are medical fundraisers, like Run for a Cure).

  3. Concerts (either fundraising concerts or for-profit events that have volunteers who are paid with concert tickets).

  4. Meetings of not-for-profit or hobby groups that revolve around male-dominated interests. Apparently there is an active group of antique military memorabilia collectors in my area, and they have a flea market/meetups/fundraiser thing semi-regularly. Needless to say, I was one of about a dozen women there surrounded by about two hundred dudes.

  5. Sports-based volunteering (several of my sporty guy-friends coach or referee a sport, either for kids or adults).

  6. Fundraising/volunteering based around a toy or hobby. As an example, there is a group of sailing enthusiasts near me who hold free sailing lessons for complete novices 2-3 times per season, and these events are very co-ed.

Of course, there is no guarantee that any of the men you meet volunteering are going to be HV. As always, the vast majority won't be. But these events will give you a chance to get out into the world in a low-stakes coed environment and meet people who you otherwise wouldn't meet.

As an aside, I have many HV women doing this, which I'm sure comes as a surprise to exactly no one.