Red pill ruined my relationship and is ruining my life

princessbubbbles · 2022-06-12T18:30:17+00:00

Dude, I'm proud of you for critically inspecting your ideology and making the choice to change. It's so difficult and painful to sit down and really do that. I wish you the best on that journey. That person who you were is still in you. He is older and wiser now, so he will look different, but he is there.

PutsWomenOnPedestal · 2022-06-12T19:24:09+00:00

I’m glad you have realized it. There’s no point in “winning” in a way that makes you miserable.

Personally I get far more joy from my hobbies, books and video games than from trying to get attention from my partner

AutoModerator · 2022-06-12T19:58:42+00:00

don't go near the stuff again is my only advice. best wishes.

Lady_Beatnik · 2022-06-12T19:24:31+00:00

You've done the right thing by admitting to it and choosing to be better. You've done a lot of damage, but I do believe your good true self is still there underneath it all. You're still so young and have a long life ahead of you, this isn't the end, you have plenty of time to not only rebuild but live your life as the person you were meant to be.

softnmushy · 2022-06-12T21:53:09+00:00

Thanks for posting. This is a good message for guys who might think redpill will help them.

Initial_Instance8457 · 2022-06-13T17:47:06+00:00

This is what upsets me the most about the redpill and MGTOW movement. A guy can be happy and basically have it all but for some reason there is a push to further complicate their life.

Training_Passenger79 · 2022-06-13T03:25:31+00:00

Damn. You are impressive. So many people don’t have the courage to look at realities that make them feel like they screwed up. I get the feeling you’re not easily defeated, and you do value logic.

In my opinion - we all suffer through a superficial phase. You’re testing the waters to see what’s real and what’s not. These predators hijacked you when you were a happy-go-lucky kid, and both open-minded enough to consider their viewpoints, while also lacking the knowledge and experience to see them for the lies they were.

I went through a sexism crisis, myself, but mine was much darker. So much of the literature I studied and so many of the men I spoke to, particularly my boyfriend, who, at the time, I saw as an intellectual superior, convinced me that men just don’t feel the way women feel. That they don’t love, aren’t hurt by seeing someone in pain, and are only out for their own personal gain. I tried hard to disprove those ideologies, but there really wasn’t anyone to talk to. The women all halfheartedly agreed and kind of said “you just learn to live with it”, and the men I met in person confirmed it. I’ve since realized they were red-pilled too.

It took me a while to realize how dogmatic I had become, that my beliefs were illogical, and that it all had made me a miserable, broken, dysfunctional person.

I have a lot of empathy for people who can relate to that phase of my life. It’s so hard to be there. Maybe you’re at rock bottom now, but the most important thing is that you’re determined to correct your mistakes.

Red pill wants to disempower you by convincing you to see yourself as a natural-born victim who either has to conquer their victimized circumstances, or die trying. But you were never a victim of the world - you were only a victim of your mindset. Even though it might have felt intuitive and supportive at moments.

Now that you made the mistake, and saw the lid for what it is, you’re set up to double-down on becoming twice as fulfilled as you once were, because now, you not only will be happy and healthy - you’ll be knowledgeable and logical too.

The shame hurts a lot. I felt so much shame for my beliefs, even though I tried really hard to find reasons to not believe them. I felt like I was just an angry, bitter person by nature…but it’s kind of like quitting a substance. You go through withdrawal, it sucks, and it’s painful…then you find yourself again, and you feel reborn, or like you were let out of prison after a 40 year sentence.

The world looks fresh and beautiful, people will suddenly see you more and treat you completely differently, and so many opportunities will be open to you. You’re on your way, I think, and the best news is that the process of traveling towards that direction feels so much better than being at rock bottom.

Rock bottom is where it sucks. You have no where to go but up!

I recommend the books “Atomic Habits”, “You Are Here” (Buddhism guide to mindfulness), “The Upward Spiral”, “The Mood Cure”, and “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”. These were all great resources for me and helped me quite a bit.

Good luck on finding yourself again. Reach out to me if you ever need someone to talk to!

JUMPsuperstar · 2022-06-13T08:16:49+00:00

I'm proud of you dude.

Moretocome212 · 2022-06-15T11:52:49+00:00

This happened to me. It's sucks hurting those you love I feel disgusting.

SeaworthinessLoose39 · 2022-06-17T02:15:31+00:00

Blaming external situations for your own mistakes. Drinking alcohol to extreme levels was your first mistake. Lying was your 2nd, if you wanted to date non exclusively you should have been man enough to put it out there. Lying, if you have any type of integrity will bring guilt. Blaming red pill is an easy way out for the mistakes you made. So much of the red pill is about as myron gaines says a lot is uncomfortable truths. There isn’t necessarily a playbook that red pill content tells you to run with. You are very young and impressionable so I get it but take accountability for your actions. Its like getting into being a trapper or scammer and blaming it on rap.

leetcoder217 · 2022-06-13T03:22:53+00:00

Self realization to this level is an achievement. You know how to go back.

Resurrected_Alliyou · 2022-07-01T08:58:40+00:00

Dude blames the red pill for his cheating and drinking problems. What a loser

omgmajk · 2022-06-13T13:37:16+00:00

It sounds like you have reflected a lot on your current (and former) situation and have found ways to move forward. Not everyone can do that and you should be proud of yourself.

Zero_Budget · 2022-06-16T01:11:48+00:00

Thats on you mate. You are the asshole in this situation, you chose to keep the details, there are million different redpill viewpoints, most of the redpill influencers are very harsh and condemn cheating/manipulation/lying. Even the harsher ones, like better bachelor, mgtow people, etc, etc. Of course you will hate yourself and become short tempered asshole, when you are hating on yourself, for being a piece of shit. Im glad you found out your mistakes, but you did mix up PUA and redpill quite a bit.

Or they did mix up in there now, its been ages the last time i checked on redpill.

Even redpill main points about avoiding "used goods" or "high mileage" women is to not get cheated on, or to reduce those chances as much as possible, i find it distrubingly unrealistic, that redpill decided to promote cheating, when it was the main reason they created the red pill is to avoid shitty women/cheating.

Are you just looking for excuses to put a blame on someone, cause of your own bad decisions?> Even mgtow guys promote causal sex/poly/hooking up culture, but never cheating/lying and manipulation. I did not watch the channels you mentioned, but as a few google searches found, these are just some pick up artists, who went to find new trends and new route and decided to do podcasts from "redpill/pua" perspective, but these did distort everything to fit their own agenda.

Its never an excuse to be a cheating asshole, sorry, no one in redpill would promote this, even if they are promoting some shit from time to time, but i dont buy it, the cheating and asshole vibes were all you pal. I hope you learned the lesson, you cant find happines in others misery.

Slight_Fig5187 · 2022-06-16T16:47:01+00:00

Great post, and I do hope some red pillers read it before it's too late for them.

zapadz · 2022-06-18T05:43:36+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KG2HACKbFu8

deathhand1234 · 2022-06-25T19:41:11+00:00

Yeah cheating and trying to impress people sucks

adam-lane-smith · 2022-07-01T02:51:57+00:00

Many men who get into red pill start with anxious attachment and then develop avoidant behaviors instead to feel powerful. Have you looked at fixing possible attachment issues that probably led to this spiral in the first place?

yomeech400 · 2022-07-03T01:55:46+00:00

That’s the wild thing about life .. people try to give you “good” advice that can honestly fuck you up. Life’s a trip 🫠

ima4leafclova · 2022-07-05T08:02:25+00:00

Your courage and earnestness in posting here is incredibly admirable. It hurts like fucking hell to be honest with ourselves and you’re brave for even starting the process. Start by slowly learning how to be compassionate towards yourself and what you’ve been through. What does compassion for you sound like? What does it feel like? Find small things to derive joy from in your day to day.

THendrix77 · 2022-07-07T16:40:57+00:00

Bruh, you can’t blame that on the red pill 🤣🤣. If you were happy why did you follow their advice? Also, AMS tells you not to cheat, if you wanted other girls you should have broken up. Cheating on your girl is actually not red pill behavior. You have to do what works for you and your situation if you were happy why would you have changed anything? Unless you weren’t actually happy with your situation and misapplied the knowledge.

laculebrilla · 2022-07-07T16:53:54+00:00

carritotaquito · 2022-07-07T19:02:53+00:00

And how’s this TRP’s fault again…

Title	Red pill ruined my relationship and is ruining my life
Author	IAMSUPERVEGETA-
Upvotes	133
Comments	30
Date	June 12, 2022 5:45 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/var6qv/red_pill_ruined_my_relationship_and_is_ruining_my/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/red-pill-ruined-my-relationship-and-is-ruining-my.1116263 https://theredarchive.com/post/1116263

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