Hey everyone!!

FutureSignificant412 · 2022-05-31T23:40:05+00:00

Because your culture's norms still have a huge influence on your subconscious beliefs. These ideas have been pushed onto you ever since you were a child. Young people are very impressionable.

DanMarinosDolphins · 2022-06-01T01:51:26+00:00

Not everything those groups say is wrong. You were probably attracted to them in the first place because they rung true in some way to you. Most women want someone bigger than themselves. Not all. but most. It's just biology and you can't change what you're attracted to. Go after what you want, not what you think you should or shouldn't. There is nothing wrong with wanting a tall boyfriend who makes as much as you or more. Everyone has a right to their preferences.

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Krouser1522 · 2022-06-01T04:19:57+00:00

Listen I understand where you are coming from and it’s good you are trying to broaden your horizons a bit about your beliefs but several things you are being ashamed of when you shouldn’t because many women feel attracted to similar things you do. For example: men with broad shoulders are seen as very attractive to many women so is being tall..Strength may play some role but bottom line is many of these physical characteristics you are describing is just evolutionary being seen as good genetics..it’s no different when studies were done about what men found attractive in women and men reported a certain hip to waist ratio that biologically meant these women were fit to have children. It’s really going to be difficult to turn off completely all of human beings biological tendencies on what we find attractive. The financially stable part is also a societal norm because like you mentioned traditionally men are supposed to be providers and if they don’t make a certain income it’s hard to take care of a wife and kids..it will take time to think differently about these things

About the bigger comment you made about guys..that too is evolutionary it’s just from the times when mankind lived in the wild and we had to fend off wild animals and defend the tribe and our families from danger so physical strength was more important during those times..obviously in modern times when mostly we will just be carrying groceries up the stairs we don’t need to be as physically strong anymore so focus on instead of physically strong that the person does make you feel “safe”..when you are around them they make you feel comfortable, they can put you at ease and comfort you when you are having a hard time in your life and genuinely enjoy their company

sabiinvesting · 2022-06-01T03:19:52+00:00

I grew up in a conservative community but was raised by relatively progressive parents. I think it will be difficult for you to rewire yourself, but it is good to be aware. It is a good starting point.

I have a question for you. How do you feel about your own financial stability? Do you think if you were more accomplished financially, the amount a man makes would not influence you to respect his ability to earn as much? I tend to admire people who have accomplished different things than I have.

I feel that part of your issue may be admiring very limited set of traits. If you get to know individual men and get to know about their individual strengths, you could be able to break out by learning to appreciate some other traits. You were wired to appreciate providers, protectors, breadwinners, and etc. Like we tell so many ex-redpills here, people are more than just those things.

If you aim to be an equal partner in a relationship, you will have to be a protector and a provider, and his hero, just as much as he is for you. Think about what you can be for your partner, and reciprocating what he will be for you. Such relationship can be extremely beautiful.

Feel free to DM me at any time if you wish. I wish you the best journey.

Mark_Freed · 2022-06-01T03:44:31+00:00

If you want to change, you need to focus on lifestyle. Make friends who have the values you want in yourself. Adopt their hobbies, spend time with them, read the books they read, movies they want. Cultural programming or socialisation is a matter of exposure.

You can pick any ideology you want and if you consume enough media in that direction, it will seep into you.

Be careful you don’t go the other extreme of radfem. It might be too late by the time you understand the perils of equality.

vcreativ · 2022-06-01T11:52:23+00:00

Why was I previously mostly sexually attracted to men who were bigger, stronger and more financially stable than myself, if I was very much against sexism and gender roles?

What you think is not necessarily what you do. That's cognitive dissonance.

It's not sexist to find bigger stronger men attractive, that's very much a you situation. It's when you associate virtues or otherwise unrelated attributes to their sex. I.e. a man is more virtuous than a woman because he's a man. It's all about the asserted casuality.

But even within the same sex you can be generalist, say bigger taller man are more virtuous than smaller men, because they're bigger. Though I don't know if there's a word for that.

I think we all have to balance what we're physically attracted to with what's a healthy choice. Physical attraction is a real thing, and if it's missing, that's not great either. But to only care about physicalities is more towards the shallow end.

The way you describe your situation I'd say you're looking for safety by means of another person, a hero to save you, say. If I'd had to make a guess, that's because you didn't feel safe growing up.

I don't think you need to become a hero for others, I need to reconnect with and heal your self. Then you'll be more able to see men for what they actually are. We're not heroes, to be a hero is restricted not to a person, but to a person's action in a given moment.

Just aim at being a good person, that's heroic enough in my eyes.

It may also be reasonable to look up narcissistic deficiency.

vaporwav3r · 2022-06-01T16:56:45+00:00

Well this is a very surprising, turn around of a post! Good for you.

imtooshortt · 2022-06-03T08:08:37+00:00

Because that's what your instincts want and you're a slave to your instincts.

Title	Hey everyone!!
Author	SukhdeepPatel
Upvotes	8
Comments	67
Date	May 31, 2022 11:25 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/v233gk/hey_everyone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/hey-everyone.1117807 https://theredarchive.com/post/1117807

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