Any Recourse to Daughter Left with Mom's Boyfriend and Son?

velesxrxe · 2022-05-29T15:31:57+00:00

100% let your daughter stay at your place. She’s old enough to have a say as to which household she wants to stay in during the week, so long of course as that household is safe etc. What’s your ex’s gonna do? File a contempt or modification of custody? She’ll be laughed out of the court room.

Patriot0811 · 2022-05-29T15:44:17+00:00

Do you know how long they’ve been together? I would absolutely get your daughter to stay where she is comfortable. But I would definitely be digging into the why. I would guess is the issue is probably with the son. She needs to able to be safe in any home she’s in.

Kwen_Oellogg · 2022-05-29T16:03:53+00:00

Try to get the x-wife to agree, but even if she doesn't start picking up your daughter every morning.

Keep her safe.

I've heard too many horror stories about situations like your daughters.

Smoke-Porterhouse · 2022-05-29T17:00:28+00:00

Thanks for the replies.

They've been together for a while. Safety of my daughter is #1 priority and I absolutely trust her judgement and ability to take care of herself and alert me if anything is even the slightest bit out of line. She knows them at this point, and it never has been — she just doesn't want to be there if her mom is not there. (You can't make people "like" other people.)

She also doesn't want to be left alone at her mom's house if they are not there. We will address that if it comes up. In the meantime, we have a plan for this week of stuff for her to do to have structure and tolerate being there. By the time of the next rotation, she will prob be in a summer camp and/or working or volunteering.

She's going to let me know if she feels at all like she wants to come over to my house.

BTW - my ex has never, not once directly told me about the relationship. Never once said "Hey, I just want you to know I'm seeing this person who is going to be around your daughter" etc. She's alluded to him before but has never had the decency to admit to inform me about him directly. I feel this is part of the problem. I don't care the slightest about any detail of her life at all, except as it relates to my daughter. It's ludicrous - but 100% in line with a string of events/choices/actions (that put herself above all else) she has made back for as long as I can recall.

talkinboutlikeuh · 2022-05-29T17:04:48+00:00

Maybe First Right if Refusal? If the mom isn’t available for the child she would have to give you first option to care for your daughter.

I don’t know how that works if you are already settled or divorced though.

RandomOlderGuy · 2022-05-29T17:35:22+00:00

Send an email to your attorney detailing the situation and your daughters concerns, along with your own; with an expression that no legal action is needed at this point and you're simply documenting the situation. prior to complying with your daughters direct request.. It may be important to have this paper trail later. Then pick her up every morning and return her after her mom is home from work.

It wouldn't hurt to have your daughter send you an email or text before expressing her unease with the current situation.

dday_throwaway3 · 2022-05-30T12:12:43+00:00

Teenagers at that age vote with their feet.

pegleg_legal · 2022-05-30T00:19:35+00:00

Your ex’s bf has no right to keep your children from you

rsmiley77 · 2022-05-29T22:40:10+00:00

Honestly the only recourse you have is through legal means. If you’re up for it and if you feel comfy with your daughter taking the stand you could ask for more custody. Your daughter is now old enough to decide where she wants to stay.

My only concern there is that this could backfire. You wife may twist the safety of your home in court saying that your daughter likes it at your home because it’s unsupervised. At the end of the day the court will have to decide what they think is best for your daughter.

I guess the other option is talking to your ex and seeing if she will willingly agree to this. I mean stranger things have happened am I right? ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Title	Any Recourse to Daughter Left with Mom's Boyfriend and Son?
Author	Smoke-Porterhouse
Upvotes	18
Comments	11
Date	May 29, 2022 3:24 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/v0dgum/any_recourse_to_daughter_left_with_moms_boyfriend/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/any-recourse-to-daughter-left-with-moms-boyfriend.1118124 https://theredarchive.com/post/1118124

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