I grew up with a drug addicted/alcoholic Mother who would tell me she hated me, beat me up for no reason, lock me in a dark room as punishment and told me "you're gonna wake up tomorrow in Hell", all of this before age 5. It went on for years after until eventually the Government took me away and forced my Dad to look after me (and my Mother died a few years later, I was 14). He had a new Girl who became my Stepmother and she too was an abusive, cold/unaffectionate bitch who was 100% racist/far right and a domineering piece of shit too. My Dad was a complete POS for no reason at times too, and inconsistent in every way conceivable, never defending me once. I think these things turned me into someone susceptible to misogynistic and hateful thought processes.

Also, I've been told by several women I give off vibes like a serial killer. Whilst I have no intent to hurt anybody, I can see in certain pictures how my eyes look permanently either angry/stressed out/dead inside. I don't know what to even do about this situation, but I do wish to escape misogyny and a mentality of hate. Does anybody else have similar experiences, and is there a most appropriate course of action? Is childhood abuse a big factor in creating incels, or is it a separate thing that is more obscure and less of an ideology but more an emotional state, etc??

Edit: some people have ambivalent feelings about the word incel, my main concept of the word for this thread at least means 'person who can't currently form relationships', but as I've mentioned I have fell prey to emotionally volatile states and demonisation of other people and categories of other people (which I understand are deeply tied into the term incel itself) but I deeply wish to escape and overcome that. I could have used a better term than incel.