So over the past few years, my wife’s drinking has been increasing. I don’t mind having the occasional drink here and there, but don’t like being around drunk people, especially if I’m not drinking myself. Due this, our love life has began tanking.

A few months back, she messaged me pretty late saying she was returning home and ran out of gas. I’m a police officer so I figured I would call the county dispatch where she was stranded and have them send a deputy to take her to get gas. I get a call from the deputy who responded and was advised she was intoxicated and I needed to go get her. Once we get home, she leaves again. That night she told me she was out of town for work, but then changed her story saying she was just driving around because she was depressed. I still have no idea what she was doing that day.

After this we agree that she needs to stop drinking. About a month later, I find out she’s hiding alcohol in the house, which just eliminates any trust I had left.

Feeling like there was more she was hiding, I go through her phone and find out she’s about 14k in debt due to cash advances & credit cards. When I finally confront her, she tells me it’s actually 30k. I find out a week later it’s over 50k.

We’ve been down this road before with her running up debt and lying about it. I’ve told her that even though it’s a different situation, it feels like she’s cheating when she does this. It feels like she’s been having an affair for the last two years since this is how long it’s been going on.

I feel like if we stay together, it will turn me into this jealous, suspicious person that I absolutely despise. She’s doing everything she can to save the marriage and at this point will agree to anything. I just don’t think she’s knows what she’s asking for.

I don’t want to be that person, especially in front of my kids (17F & 12M). I don’t want them to grow up thinking that’s normal behavior. My parents seemed to hate each other growing up & they really should’ve gotten divorced.

Am I being unreasonable in thinking it’s best just to walk away? Has anyone else dealt with this and made it through? What was helpful in getting through this?