Some of you guys might remember me from a post about a month ago: the ex I cohabitated with until April has entered into a new relationship, and the guy has been spending an incredible amount of time with her and my 1yo daughter which I find creepy. Ex doesnt see anything wrong with it, but she doesnt send the pictures of them together to me but rather to my mother, who's sent her frownie emojis in response. That pisses the ex off because she asks me "does your mother ever want to see her granddaughter again?". The whole situation is just weird and distasteful and I'm beginning to despise my ex.

Anyway, I have decided that I will move back to where they live in 9mo once my employment contract is up. It's 1500mi away but I should be able to find a job (even a fully remote one) no problem. I'm going to shoot for 50% custody to knock down/eliminate my unofficial 1k/mo child support payment to the ex.

While the ex entertains the idea of having me around and shared custody, she's already argued (as she used to do when we were together) that I am unqualified to be able to take care of what will be a 2yo child for any extended period of time. I disagree, but have ceded that she can "train" me for a month, before we pursue a week-on-week-off schedule.

I'd like to stay out of court, so what's the best way to approach this plan?

Some specific questions/facts: 1. Paternity has to be established. She never put me on the birth certificate. I'm going to DNA test my daughter in a few days when I am in town to be sure I should even bother.

  1. Is it possible to get a parenting plan in place which establishes child support and a custody schedule?

  2. We're both high income, but my income has fluctuated wildly in the last 3 yr meanwhile she's made 100k/yr consistently. I've made 110k in 2020, 50k in 2021 and will make >200k in 2022. I feel like I should establish the parenting plan now so my >200k income this year doesnt apply. I should be able to hit 120k/yr going forward.