been reading a lot and lot of your guys’ experiences and thank you for sharing and helping other men through this incredibly difficult process

stbx is a great mom can’t lie…im a involved and present dad, we both make decent to good money and this isn’t something I wanted or even want…to me she’s still a knockout but my boys see me being treated like dirt and it’s like ahhh….killed myself trying to prove myself and make her happy but in hindsight if you need to do so much and extend yourself to convince someone to be with you, it’s not worth it and it’s not sustainable

i actually don’t blame her but I don’t think she can blame me either. It’s going to be so hard bc we have 2 boys ages 8 and 6 and a young daughter whose 4. married close to 10 years but only the first 2-3 we’re good and even those were stressful

part of me wants to just stick it out but another part realizes that this is over and it’s time to move on. My younger son is feeling sad and asking about separate houses my older son seems to be resigned to accepting this

lots to figure out, this house we have to sell, debts, custody (she’s saying she will move away so she can buy a house someplace more affordable, I rather stay here and rent an apt)

She keeps wanting me to move out which I can’t and won’t until we have clarity on custody and the payments

This is CA btw - culturally this is embarrassing, humiliating and from the time we got married, so predictably pathetic on my part. But the time to heal and level up begins and hope this helps someone and if anyone has guidance or words to support , feel free