In layman’s terms, men (generally) value looks higher than women because they value fewer things in women. But while this is the case the requirement for most men look wise isn’t a 8/10. It’s typically just a non fat, average built, average face girl, who puts basic effort into her appearance.

Women (generally) on the other hand care about looks less than men because they value more things in men. Such as status, career, money, leadership, and confidence. But the requirement will usually be 8/10 looks wise and gradually lower as they get older and they value the other things such as money and status more. Because of this their looks requirements are MORE alterable for relationships, and LESS alterable for sex. Primarily because they know they can get a 10/10 man to fuck them even if they’re a 3. Yet for a relationships they value more than just looks and know that a very attractive man with all those other qualities isn’t common. So instead they’ll “settle” for say a 5/10 man who has those other qualities.

In the same way that men will “settle” for a fat woman to have sex with.

I think this plays out in the “dating market” extremely often. Women find more and more ways to be picky about who they sleep with (the easiest being how they look) and men find more and more ways to be less picky about who they fuck just to get some. And in terms of relationships men will have very set in stone physical standards (albeit not even remotely difficult to meet typically) and women will have slightly less very set in stone physical standards the more and more they get older. Although even that is changing to some degree now that some women are opting out of dating rather than be with average men.

All of this is speaking very broadly and generally. I’m not saying this applies to everyone (it doesn’t even apply to me fully) but these are my observations. I’m not making any statements about what you OUGHT to do or about change being needed.