Child Custody

Armada1664 · 2022-08-17T07:32:41+00:00

It's actually less than 11 percent of all men who go to family court for custody that get custody. At least here in the UK. I know as I went through 4 years of hell but ultimately did succeed. I was told on day 1 I had virtually no chance of winning even with all the evidence of neglect and abuse my children had suffered. I have my children safe and thriving but I have been declared bankrupt from the case such was the enormity of the costs outside of legal aid. The system here still operates on the idea that mother is best. Its outdated and disproportionate in how it deals with these cases. I can only speak from my own experience.

Melkor7410 · 2022-08-17T10:56:40+00:00

All I can say is my friend spent over 100k to get custody of his kids (from the grandparents), and failed. Another friend got divorced and he never got custody of his kids either, but he went broke pretty quickly. I do not know a any divorced guy that has custody of their kids. However, this is not real data, just anecdotes.

duhhhh · 2022-08-17T11:33:38+00:00

I think their argument is correct, just not for the implied reason. Men who can afford to lose half their assets and still pay for two divorce lawyers on top of court costs, therapists, temporary alimony, temporary child support, a criminal lawyer for the false accusations, and secondary housing with enough bedrooms for each kid, can usually get 50% custody. Average men that can't afford that, give up and take what they are offered under the advice of their lawyer.

That's why laws defaulting to 50/50 custody and good investigations of DV accusations are required.

-Soggy-Potato- · 2022-08-17T11:49:06+00:00

It makes sense, they were right

Men statistically aren’t as involved in their child’s care as women are

Courts will favour the primary care giver, and as such a majority of the time it goes to women

This is going to be because of sexist gender roles and how it’s impacts family structures, with guys as breadwinners and woman as homemakers, creating this divide between men and their kids.

This stereotype also contributes to the decisions made, ie men are less likely to want to pursue custody of their kids because of the world they grew up in influencing them away from that role, and vice versa for women

And in the instances where men do pursue custody there will usually be a good reason for it such as abuse etc

goinsouth85 · 2022-08-17T15:38:21+00:00

It neglects the possibility of selection bias. The implication is that if all the cases went to trial, the same outcome would be achieved. That implication fails to consider that the cases that do go to trial may have the strongest fact patterns.

To give an analogy, I’m sure college athletes who declare for the draft have a dramatically higher chance of player professionally than the college athletes at large. But its not the act of declaring that improves the odds - its that those who register are likely the best players

sorebum405 · 2022-08-17T10:49:58+00:00

This article probably addressing most of the issues with this claim.Even if fathers do get custody alot when they seek custody this is probably due to sample bias, because only father who have a really good case would seek custody.Also, the 1989 study that this article was addressing showed that when mothers seek custody they get sole custody at a higher rate then men.

Also, u/Oncefa2 made a post about this.

Suspicious-Sleep5227 · 2022-08-17T06:51:00+00:00

I seriously doubt the 92% figure is accurate. You might get into the same ballpark if you include cases in which 50/50 custody was awarded but even then I don’t see it getting to that.

Second point, I think the reason men don’t seek custody, if that is a true statement, is because many know they will lose the case and so they don’t even bother. They might try if they knew they had a decent chance at getting a fair shake in the courtroom rather than running into rampant bias.

IceCorrect · 2022-08-17T07:28:28+00:00

If father will see his child a few hours every 2 weeks - he is getting custody by stats. Its just the same situation if you make law that literaly only men can rape and show data that almost every rapist is man

Why should father fight for right to see his child? This is the real problem that people who say "they dont fight to see their child" never think of

ExcellentWaffles · 2022-08-17T14:51:20+00:00

It’s honestly not even worth the effort if you can’t afford to mount a serious legal battle because of how lopsided courts are when it comes to men in any situation.

mechajutaro · 2022-08-18T01:43:18+00:00

"What are your thoughts on this?"

-Try like hell not to lapse into arguments with those whom you know personally out in the world. We're out to persuade people to come around to our point of view and support our goals: Having a dialectic with those who are on the fence or even somewhat hostile is more effective http://macyoungsmusings.blogspot.com/2021/04/10-points-on-understanding-other-sides.html

-Contrary to what we've been taught by the keyboard warriors and 23rd tier performance artists who've been leading The MRM since the mid-10s, men's advocates are ultimately selling a product*(the notion that men aren't oppressors and rapists-waiting-to-happen. And that we've got our share of troubles which demand attention and remedying), and the public at large is made up of potential consumers and converts. The likelihood of a large cross-section of America buying what we're selling isn't strong, so long as we keep failing to hammer home the many ways in which the reforms we desire will make the lives of most everyday people easier. I highly recommend that you start emphasizing to all those whom you pitch shared parenting legislation to things like the cost to taxpayers incurred by protracted litigation in family court, and the increase in delinquency and teen pregnancy we experience when large numbers of kids are left fatherless

Men's Rights and The Men's Rights Movement are heavily unpopular with voters and the public more generally. By contrast though, having more money in their pocket at the end of each year, safe neighborhoods, and less crime are among the top five concerns of most American in almost every survey and poll taken. Start connecting "men's issues" to subjects such as these, and we just may witness a drastic increase in the amount of public support we enjoy

*To that end, I encourage you to listen to the following interview https://think.kera.org/2022/08/16/money-and-magnetism-inside-the-lives-of-door-to-door-sales-people/ , read the following article https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2022/08/08/sam-taggarts-hard-sell and perhaps even seek out some of Sam Taggart's talks on YouTube. Also read Chris Voss's book Never Split The Difference, and Robert Cialdani's Persuasion. Apply these tactics, as you're selling folks on topics like making shared parenting legislation the law of the land

StudentOfTheTruth1 · 2022-08-18T07:28:43+00:00

They did not show a single source. Without that my reaction is "it is all lies".

b12b3b · 2022-08-18T09:13:26+00:00

Child custody laws not only hurt men, but women to. False rape accusations also are a problem because whenever a woman makes a false rape accusation and she’s telling the truth she gets accused of lying. This is a very big problem.

Title	Child Custody
Author	bloodfuel
Upvotes	7
Comments	15
Date	August 17, 2022 6:32 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/wqhn78/child_custody/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/child-custody.1128138 https://theredarchive.com/post/1128138

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