You don't owe financial security to anyone. Not your girlfriend/ wife/ partner, anyone. Without exception every girlfriend / wife I know believe they are owed a financially abundant male.

ABBucsfan · 2022-08-21T20:17:01+00:00

Only person that you owe financial security to is your kids when they're minors. That's about it.. and the. Ot course they will push that q d try to make you feel guilty you can't spoil them and sign them up for every little thing or rich kid activities. nope one or two recurring activities a week, health care. Everything else is a luxury. More important to be involved in their lives and be there

Oh and it's not only your responsibility. It should be shared equitably, unless god forbid you are a widower

McFeely_Smackup · 2022-08-22T01:20:45+00:00

Any man that has ever had a girlfriend move into his place knows this personally.

"We'll split the rent" very quickly turns into "I can't believe you're asking me to pay half your rent"

rabel111 · 2022-08-21T23:58:51+00:00

Given the vast majority of divorses are initiated by women, it clear that women are making decisions based on looks, wealth, health and fashion, not men.

Typical feminists, leaving reality out of their logic.

63daddy · 2022-08-21T20:25:49+00:00

Everything I’ve read about the state of dating indicates women overall have higher expectations but as your linked post indicates more feel like they shouldn’t have to bring anything to the table. It’s very one-sided.

While it’s overall very biased, not all women have that feminist attitude, and along the lines of what you indicated, men don’t have to agree to biased marriages. More and more are choosing not to.

YourFixJustRuinsIt · 2022-08-22T04:03:28+00:00

Tell that to my ex that apparently deserves 85% of my pay for 5 years and $1500 for life. Fuck the court system.

[deleted] · 2022-08-22T09:51:03+00:00

It's true and it's even more insidious.

I remember being rocked from the divorce. I had just spent my savings on a kitchen when she wanted to divorce me.

She wanted my pension
She wanted the house
She wanted all her debts paid
She wanted half my money
She wanted child maintenance and ongoing money to pay the mortgage

The mediator asked me if I agreed. I said no. Then the mediator said to my wife 'guess you're not getting it all then'.

I retained the bulk of my pension
She got some equity but I retained my house.
I did have to pay off her debts

Could have been a lot worse. I wonder how many men, who are shell shocked with a life changing event and then potentially intimidated by a mediator go on to then give up everything.

DirtyPartyMan · 2022-08-21T22:57:06+00:00

Your worth is what you set it at. How you define it. Your manhood. Your unique style of Masculinity is for You to fashion and decide. How is it that 50% of the Human population has to fit a certain mold or expectation in order to belong? To be respected? While the other 50% has the freedom to dress/marry/fuck/work/not work/ dye hair any color free of judgement?

Stop living someone else’s life.

In 80 years most of you reading this will be dead. If you’re not dead you won’t remember reading this.

If you’re dead then some people in your family or friends will talk about you now and then. In another 15 most of those may be dead. And those who aren’t may talk about you rarely.

15 years after that, you’ll be a vague photo in an album that no one knows.

My point? Be you. Start now. Now is the only time we can guarantee we have. Go live it.

delocalelectron · 2022-08-22T08:12:36+00:00

'Women Don't Owe You Pretty' is a dreadful book by feminist bisexual Florence Given. It's also generally accepted that she stole the entire concept from some other feminist blogger. This type of nonsense does have an effect, though. If you take a look at the Amazon reviews, there's one girl who boasts of breaking up with her boyfriend as a result, "...and I am now living my best life, reading Florence's book." Wonder what she'll do after finishing it??

Women may not owe us pretty. And, we don't owe you successful.

vhisic · 2022-08-22T11:17:24+00:00

Is a fair comparison to prettiness really financial stability though?

GunOfSod · 2022-08-21T21:20:38+00:00

You owe it to your children, and those that help look after them.

TheSoviet_Onion · 2022-08-21T21:27:59+00:00

If you tie someone to a relationship with yourself using marriage, children or a mortgage you definitely do owe them to some extent that you keep up both your looks and your economical stability

There are too many children living in broken families because the mother got fat and annoying or the father became an unemployed alcoholic which then resulted in divorce.

Ferbuggity · 2022-08-22T12:48:28+00:00

I can believe I'm owed Tom Hardy all I want..

^{that's all I have to say on that.}

cistacea · 2022-08-22T05:13:27+00:00

I'm in a non Mono relationship with one man and one woman. Both of us women out-earn the man by a significant margin. He's an artisan who works very hard and is very passionate about what he does, but doesn't make a lot because he is an artisan. A lot of people assume that because he has two women living in his house with him, he's rolling in cash. But when people find out that we both make more than he does, they are shocked in a way that makes me feel sad. The fact that people can't conceive of us just liking him because of who he is as opposed to a source of financial security for us is upsetting.

Because we are both financially secure, it doesn't really matter to us that he makes less. It's not hurting us. I do understand why women who are not financially secure would be more invested in getting a man who has a lot of money.

ThrowFootAway5376 · 2022-08-22T04:19:19+00:00

Having been raised... I don't know (??) Slightly... toxic masculine (??) Let me explain my understanding of that term before anyone goes off on me. It may not be "the official" definition. To me, toxic masculinity is when you are raised as a boy to just "suck it up", whatever "it" is. Aka, your needs are not only neglected, they are ridiculed, and you get the message and try to fit that mold. It is the mold itself that is toxic. That it is normal for your feelings to not matter one whit and you just gotta push through. This of course leads to anger eventually but anyway.

That out of the way...

Haaaving been raised with some partial slight influence in that general direction...

... what the hell else are you good for, then? (Please answer, I'd like to get this garbage out of my head but don't know how to).

... I mean yes, it's getting to the point now where... let me just say look up the cost of elder care. Got that number? Research it, it could take a few days. Ok. Now take that number and project 40 years of inflation onto it at 3.4%.

... see. (*Hint: the number is somewhere in the million range 40 years from now*)

... It's getting to the point now where, if you partner up with someone that buys into consumer culture, you're just fucked. No matter how much both of you work. Don't even make me giggle about single income anymore, that died decades ago due to inflation and suppressed wages.

... so yes, someone very, very frugal. And working. But that said.

What. The hell else are you good for as a man.

I mean there's only like 150,000,000 more where you came from in this country alone, you know? You're just that magical?

Sigh. Fix me please.

sasutus · 2022-08-22T09:32:18+00:00

If you don't want to be wallets or be responsible for financial security, then I hope none of you ever bring up the " but I pay for this and that! " when a woman is not pleasing you in the way you want, meaning for example house chores or sex.

You don't want to be defined by your money, yet it's the first thing you bring up when you're not having your way with a woman.

PS. If both your and your girlfriend work day jobs, but besides that your girlfriend takes care of all the chores around the house or even kids, I think it's only fair you pay since y'all want a maid, and maids get paid.

Marc123123 · 2022-08-22T13:05:23+00:00

Of course you do owe financial security to other people:

For a start you owe financial security to your children.
You may owe financial security/support to your partner if it is mutual
You may owe financial security/support to your parents if they are elderly and unable to work

Theapexfighter · 2022-08-22T12:28:05+00:00

I agree to that, but any spouse should provide for the other in a reciprocal way. There is a point where partnership is important.

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