Expecting my first baby and my RPW routines have all changed. Where do I begin to start again?

_Pumpkin_Muffin · 2022-09-19T17:24:55+00:00

Lean on him. Really, it's all good. You're his wife, pregnant with his baby. Lean on him.

He can carry this weight with you for a bit, if he knows what's going on. Why are you keeping this to yourself? Bring him your problem. Maybe you'll find out that he doesn't care that the house is tidy and you're wearing a pretty skirt, only that you are well-rested and managing to eat a little. Maybe you'll find out that he does care about some things - I don't know, having dinner together? You waking up with him in the morning? Laundry getting done semi-regularly?

I'm not saying not to wear pretty skirts and dresses if that makes you feel good. But do what makes you feel good, not what you "should" be doing. You'll have to let go of these expectations for a long time. Your house might be a mess, and it's going to be ok. Keep close to your husband and allow him to see you vulerable. Congrats on your baby!

Ok_Obligation_6110 · 2022-09-19T16:57:43+00:00

First of all, congrats!! I am within weeks of my due date with my first and had this same struggle at the start. My husband and I were only married for 2 months before I got pregnant so I felt like my ideal housewife routine went out the window once the first trimester hit me hard. Give yourself grace and really only focus on each day at a time.

My first trimester for about 6 weeks I was totally useless. I didn’t cook because the smell made me so unbelievably sick (I cook ALL the meals normally), I couldn’t clean because again the smells made me very sick, and I was so exhausted I was sleeping almost 12 to 14 hours a day. My husband was so sweet and brought me food and little things he could make himself while I was basically in bed all day. I could only manage to do maybe one or two chores a day. My husband was totally ok with it, and I learned to be ok with it too, it meant the house wouldn’t be as clean as I liked it, dishes would sit in the sink, or laundry would be delayed. That is all fine! It’s temporary. We have to learn to let go.

Second trimester was incredible, I felt like my normal self again and slowly returned to my routine and after about 2 weeks was basically doing everything I used to do and the house was finally back in order. Take advantage of this time! Make sure to tackle any larger household projects in your second trimester. Host friends and family. Start shopping for new clothes and have fun! I hate most maternity wear, it tends be compression leggings and baggy tops. I gravitated towards buying lots of non maternity dresses that are loose around the waist. My second trimester was thankfully this summer so dresses were perfect and the best part is I can wear them post partum as well! Start applying body lotion or oils regularly at this point too. Your skin will start to stretch and it’s very easy for your skin and lips to get dehydrated since most of your fluids are going toward building your baby’s amniotic swimming pool!

Third trimester is a mixed bag. You’ll realistically only have a couple weeks to half way through the third trimester until your belly starts to really get in the way of day to day tasks. I found it nearly impossible to do any cleaning that requires me to bend over (scrubbing our bath tub and shower, scrubbing floors without a swiffer, even leaning over to get laundry out of a top loading washer dryer or bring the basket down to the basement to do laundry). I’ve found it’s good to start getting in the habit now of asking for help since you’ll definitely need to once baby arrives. My husband is happy to help but needs to be able to do things when it works within his schedule, he asks me to give him a list at the start of the week of tasks I need his help with. My step mother and mother and law have reached out and asked what they can help me with. We decided the two big things are do a deep clean of the house that they help me with, and helping stock our freezer full of meals for after baby’s arrival. Thankfully, your nesting instinct will kick in and help you get organized and planning. But those final few weeks, let me tell you, everything is uncomfortable. Give yourself grace and take it slow again like you did at the start. Outsource what you can, hire a cleaner to come in once a week or even for one big deep clean, or ask for help from family. Rest as much as you can to help prepare your body for labor. And most importantly, take advantage of time with your husband! Plan fun outings for the two of you, have a little weekend getaway. It’s hard once baby arrives so use this time to show your husband how much you value him and put effort into nurturing your bond together.

Hope your pregnancy is a smooth one!

sunglasses90 · 2022-09-19T17:32:28+00:00

You’re going to have to adjust expectations and so is your husband. You can’t control your health/morning sickness and it’s a priority that you don’t over stress yourself during pregnancy. Maybe you need a temporary cleaning person and/or husband cooks more until you feel up to it again. It’s ok. You’ll have to readjust again when baby comes. And many times throughout life as big changes come.

AutoModerator · 2022-09-19T15:13:59+00:00

Title: Expecting my first baby and my RPW routines have all changed. Where do I begin to start again?

Full text: After many years of infertility, I am newly pregnant for the first time. (I am so thankful.) I need advice because it's altered my daily habits as a wife, made me more emotional, and caused me to regroup. I realize this is a season and that my child is worth resting and caring for, so it may just be that I need to lower my expectations for the coming months.

But I want to see how your goals for femininity and for being a good wife changed when you became pregnant. My concerns revolve around my higher emotions (positive and negative) and attitude affecting my husband, how I can maintain my appearance each day with changing wardrobe, and how to streamline the household routine.

I am barely getting by each day with my morning sickness. Probably about a total of 3 hours each day when I am not sick, and those are not predictable as to when they happen.

Things that I have been doing are reading The Empowered Wife, keeping my negative emotions to myself or sharing with women, wearing a couple dresses and skirts that I can fit into, and tidying the house when I get a rare moment of wellness. Also trying to cook meals for myself that I can stomach.

Thanks for your experiences, ladies.

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pearlsandstilettos · 2022-09-19T21:48:05+00:00

From the wiki: First mate in the first trimester

Title	Expecting my first baby and my RPW routines have all changed. Where do I begin to start again?
Author	oliveshoot
Upvotes	22
Comments	9
Date	September 19, 2022 3:13 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/xieteo/expecting_my_first_baby_and_my_rpw_routines_have/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/expecting-my-first-baby-and-my-rpw-routines-have.1132472 https://theredarchive.com/post/1132472

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