Dreams

Adorable_FecalSpray · 2022-10-01T14:38:19+00:00

If you haven’t found it, check out /BPDLovedones. I found it very helpful in my recovery and healing from my relationship.

dday_throwaway3 · 2022-10-01T15:22:09+00:00

You're allowing her to rent space in your head. It's time to evict her.

OrneryAttorney3019 · 2022-10-01T21:16:10+00:00

I'm sorry seems to be a symptom of BPD. From an outside point of view at least. The partner loves the partner with BPD endlessly, BPD person is nasty and does/says terrible things to the other. Like all kinds of abuse stuff. Definitely check out r/BPDlovedones.

Gattsama · 2022-10-02T04:57:18+00:00

Check out this video:

https://youtu.be/IUbYGAmid_I

Here's the issue, you have not gotten over your trauma bonding. You became addicted to the dopamine from the drama, love bombing, etc of the relationship. When cut off you go through withdrawal. You also have not accepted the Ex for who and what she is. I understand you know it / have insight, but you haven't accepted it.

If you had acceptance, you would be more at peace. You said it yourself 'I can't control it.' And you are right you can not. The only things you can control our: your thoughts, feelings, choices and reactions. Everything else is outside your control. It's not impossible to get her back because the families hate each other. Odds are high she would take you back if you made continuous effort. Then she would be able to use you, hurt you, abuse you and cripple you all over again. This would make her happy.

You wouldn't be taking walks along the beach. You would be told worthless, horrible and useless you are. She would be telling you how much your actions hurt her, and how much she has suffered from your stupidity. She would be telling everyone how much he's changed, so that they could come save her from your abusive ass.

You are wrong when you say you can't trust her. You can trust her to abuse you, manipulate you and the situation, lie to you, and enjoy hurting you. If you don't know it look up 'the scorpion and the frog.'

If you live in the flood planes, you home will flood. The river isn't evil, it not that it doesn't like you. It's not that you did anything wrong, or anything right. If you live in the flood plane your home will flood. The river is great: fishing, swimming, beautiful, etc. It just floods sometimes, you can't control it, it's not the rivers fault.

So you can either accept that, and live in the flood planes; and constantly rebuild. Or you can accept that and choose to move to higher ground, leaving the river behind.

You will NOT be able to have a healthy relationship until you find acceptance. You have a box in your mind and heart for others to enter; and right now your Ex is standing in that box. There is some room for others, but not really, as anyone that tries to get in she pushes out.

If not already, get therapy. And consider getting (audiobook or paperback): "Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist" by Margalis Fjelstad.

Be safe out there, good luck brother...

Title	Dreams
Author	Acceptable_Ask_7624
Upvotes	5
Comments	5
Date	October 1, 2022 1:36 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/xsvior/dreams/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/dreams.1133236 https://theredarchive.com/post/1133236

Comments