I have two beautiful baby girls (3 and 1.5) that i love with all my heart. Thankfully, my lawyer has done a great job and i get to visit my girls every tuesday, thursday, saturday and sunday. I have never missed a visit, never missed a weekly support payment. I take my girls to church, the park, swimming, we go get ice cream, pancakes, we cook together, we do dishes, we clean, we sing, jump, play music, i teach them piano, we visit their grandparents, uncles, cousins, i can say they love me, they say they love me. Its been almost 6 months of this visit arrangement and soon i will get 50/50 custody against my exwife’s will. I can say i am happy when i am with them, but still i can get pass to feel sadness whenever they are not around. Its dull, boring and basically all grey. It will be better with time, but it hurts to know i might not ever share the love i have for them with anybody else. The exwife isn’t the person i once married and our relationship is broken beyond repair. Its really hard raising two baby girls on my own and not having any communication with the mom doesnt really help to raise my girls the best way.