Do people of both genders (who enjoy casual sex) crave and engage sexually with a variety of different sexual partners in their youth?

LukeRyan488 · 2022-12-16T03:20:22+00:00

Yes, I did seek out certain partners for novelty. I enjoyed casual sex and had an overall good time with it. I think it's because I was genuinely just looking for casual sex and wasn't necessarily looking for a relationship or wanting to date the guys, I wanted to try them out is all. People crave novelty in general life, too, some more than others.

WilliamWyattD · 2022-12-16T17:26:50+00:00

Some of the literature seems to be pointing towards men and women desiring novelty in different ways. Men have a higher ceiling--virtually no ceiling in fact--when it comes to how much novelty they would ideally desire. But their libido is actually strong enough for it to withstand being deprived of a fair bit of novelty, if not novelty entirely. It weakens, but there is often if not usually still some desire.

Women, on the other hand, have much less of a desire for endless novelty. Often they fixate on one man at a time. However, as one theory goes, there is a biological advantage for women if they diversify the DNA of their offspring. Hypergamy equips women to mate switch for clear advantage, but often what were available to prehistoric women were relatively lateral moves. The frictional costs of such moves were such that women probably would not have made them given how little hypergamous upside there was. Thus the novelty effect for women seems to be that after a period of 3-5 years, enough to raise one child out of total dependency, a woman will see her current partner as lower or worse than he actually is. Her libido will really tank, and given women's much weaker raw libido, this can easily put her desire for her current partner at effectively zero. The theory goes that this was designed to lubricate even lateral mate swaps for lineage diversification.

At any rate, whatever the cause, there is a fair bit of evidence that monogamy without novelty can really hit a woman's desire for her mate, on average, much more strongly than it does a man's. If she has a very attractive partner that still meets or exceeds her hypergamous needs, then things may still be fine. Her libido will see him as 'less' than if they had just met, but she may still fixate on him and not need novelty. But in other cases, the marriage can become sexually dead; but she will feel a strong libido again with another man.

There are, of course, just theories. Though not without evidence. Another idea is that a lot of the time women's libido tanks after being monogamous for a while it is basically the man's fault. His libido has dropped for her a fair bit, but he still views sex with her as better than nothing. But to her finely-tuned responsive libido, this change in how he sees and interacts with her represents a catastrophic change. To her, he sees her now not as this sexually vibrant young thing that he would live or die for, but as a collection of holes that are somewhat better than masturbation. So she starts to feel old and ugly and that it is that time in life for sex to be put away, unless of course some new man sees her differently. And thus makes her feel differently about herself.

northernlights190 · 2022-12-16T02:43:54+00:00

Short answer is yes, many women (and I’d say the vast majority of women who do actually enjoy casual sex) also crave a variety of partners.

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ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2022-12-16T03:09:48+00:00

For those who genuinely have high sociosexuality and love sleeping around? Yes of course. They enjoy new partners and old partners both.

For the average American? No, they're fine with one partner at a time. They have casual sex in between relationships but are happy in one and not looking elsewhere.

2022-12-16T11:29:03+00:00

“Do people who like casual sex like casual sex?”

Wat?

IntegrityDJones · 2022-12-17T08:28:55+00:00

Some women aren’t, some are. I prefer casual and variety.

LupeDyCazari · 2022-12-17T20:29:39+00:00

Not just when you are young.

I'm a very old man in my thirties and I still crave as much sex as possible from as many women as possible. Heck, I was on grand station one of these days and I was glancing and looking at every hot chick that walked by. I must have imagined myself fucking at least a thousand chicks during that day alone.

HighestTierMaslow · 2022-12-16T04:21:17+00:00

Yes, there are both men and women who partake in this behavior. Women are just shamed more for it.

DisasterPeace7 · 2022-12-16T05:23:10+00:00

Monogamy is not natural when it comes to humans, unless you've literally only been sexually attracted to one person in your life ( and for those of you who are going to say that you have don't worry I'm not going to believe you lol ) so yes people do want a variety of partners, men at a higher level of drive for sure

WE_areTHEaliens · 2022-12-16T05:46:23+00:00

Do I want casual sex with many women? Yes of course.

Am I attractive enough to pull it off? Nope.

Lord_Thanos · 2022-12-16T06:19:48+00:00

Basic hedonic treadmill stuff. The Wikipedia article actually mentions it too.

HolyPipidastra · 2022-12-16T18:39:44+00:00

More like scenarios: a priest, a cop, a musician, I don’t care for ethnic diversity

AngelxEyez · 2022-12-16T22:24:47+00:00

I think its less about seeking “variety” and more that the beginning parts of mating is FUN and EXCITING to those who can properly participate

The flirting and sexual tension and build up is the very best part of any new sexual interaction I’ve had

mugdul · 2022-12-18T08:41:31+00:00

Wow, what a fascinating and completely objective perspective you have on human sexuality. Men, if given the opportunity, would enjoy having sex with a variety of different kinds of women because of some scientific concept called the 'Coolidge effect,' and it's totally normal and natural for them to do so. And because you heard two girls in your college class talk about sleeping with lots of different men on their vacation, you're just asking out of pure curiosity if women also have a subconscious biological drive to engage in sex with multiple different kinds of men that they're attracted to. Because, you know, the sexual behavior of two random individuals you heard talking in college is totally representative of all women everywhere and can be used to draw broad conclusions about female sexuality. And hey, even if it doesn't make sense from a scientific perspective, it's all good, because you're not hating, you're just genuinely interested. Right. Sure you are.

Additional_Speech164 · 2022-12-22T03:38:57+00:00

Yes I did when young and still do in middle age ! I love variety and get bored in manogamy. I can’t speak for all women though.

Title	Do people of both genders (who enjoy casual sex) crave and engage sexually with a variety of different sexual partners in their youth?
Author	LukeRyan488
Upvotes	7
Comments	40
Date	December 16, 2022 2:21 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/zn3k4a/do_people_of_both_genders_who_enjoy_casual_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-people-of-both-genders-who-enjoy-casual-sex.1143699 https://theredarchive.com/post/1143699

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