How to be more flexible and fun when having sex?

Protocol_Apollo · 2023-01-16T19:40:33+00:00

Are you on the pill by any chance?

The pill nukes the small amount of natural testosterone women produce, which plays a big role in libido even in women.

anothergoodbook · 2023-01-16T19:30:38+00:00

My husband was inexperienced and had a lot of shame around sex. I had one boyfriend prior but it was not great A lot of it was just loosening up and having fun with each other- exploring what feels good, being able to say what you aren’t crazy about (in a very kind way of course). It is something that grows. Where we are now after 16 years of marriage is very different from when we were first married.

Also women are all different in what feels good. Don’t worry about having to guide him to what feels good. That’s normal.

And honestly when we had good sex I wanted it more and my libido definitely grew.

I like the book Sheet Music - we read that together. There’s a few other books like that. My husband had an issue with porn so we stuck to things that were Christian based. Stay away from those magazine type snippets about sex , they aren’t realistic.

I also liked Tim Ferris’s book 4 hour body. He has a thing about a “15 minute orgasm” or something like that. It’s more about focusing on seeing what you like without the intention on an orgasm. I think if you google that it’ll come up.

Some-Air9775 · 2023-01-16T20:57:03+00:00

For starters if you are both sexually satisfied don’t give in to the pressure from society to be extremely sexual. Some tips I have are to focus on things other than penetration. Kissing, touching, sensory play such as using light touches and using things like feathers or something that you drag along the skin. Give massages. Sex doesn’t have to be just banging it out. Really play and explore even if it’s just a little. Another tip I have to make sex more exciting for him is to close your eyes and really get into your body.I’ve sensually and touch yourself as if he’s not there. I call that putting on a show. I would also recommend touching yourself and masturbating more with and without him. It helps you get more in tune with your body. When you watch him masturbate try to mimic how he self pleasures that will show you how he likes to be touch and the same with you self pleasuring in front of him. Please forgive how poorly this is written. Those are some tips.

aleatingasandwich · 2023-01-16T23:17:53+00:00

Are you sure you are attracted to him? This is an honest genuine question. When you look at him, do you imagine him touching you? Do you feel your body respond when you think of him in a sexual way? Do you fantasize about him? A lot of times we can feel romantic love for somebody, especially if we have a long period of relationship before sex is introduced, but the physical or sexual component just isn't there.

AutoModerator · 2023-01-16T19:10:05+00:00

Title: How to be more flexible and fun when having sex?

Full text: I (23F) am extremely unexperienced sexually, having only had 1 romantic and sexual partner, which is my current partner(M26).

He also lack experience. I constantly feel like I have to guide my partner, but I am awful at it. I also have a lower libido than most women I know. I have no sexual energy whatsoever.

Need advice.

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rosesonthefloor · 2023-01-16T21:35:29+00:00

Maybe the two of you might benefit from a sexy card game or perhaps an “adventure” book?

I like things like this because they give you an external framework, which gets rid of some of the embarrassment of being the one to bring something up! Even if some of the things are not to your taste, it will give the two of you a chance to talk about it, and build intimacy. You can also get card games that aren’t all about sex or sexy dice depending on your comfort level. There are also apps out there with these functions also. And since both of you aren’t very experienced, it could be a fun way to learn together.

My bf and I did a kink checklist together fairly early on, and it was a great way for us to get to know each other’s desires! We’ve also tried an app or two to have some bedroom fun and do something a bit different.

Lastly, re: libido, if you’re comfortable with masturbation, I would recommend trying edging. This means you bring yourself to the brink of orgasm and then stop before you go over. It’s important not to let yourself go over, as it ruins the effect of building desire without releasing it.

Do this a few times before you see your boyfriend, and then go jump on him haha! Just have fun with it :)

alady-in-the-streets · 2023-01-17T08:17:44+00:00

I agree with u/Protocol_Apollo that you should probably stop hormonal birth control and look into a copper IUD. They last for ten years, you can take it out and conceive anytime you want without a hormone hangover, and you don't have to worry about taking a pill or anything. If that doesn't work, I would suggest getting your hormone levels tested to make sure they're normal.

However, to address the awkward/inexperienced factor: it's easy to get in your head when you're new to sex, and that can make it difficult to express yourself. My husband was also inexperienced when we got together, so I know what you mean about having to guide him. But the female body is really hard to learn, and he just needs a little bit of time. Explore things with him, get to know what each of you like, and embrace it when its awkward. It's so important to be able to laugh, because sex is inherently an awkward act. Bodies make weird noises, things go where they shouldn't, you'll get cramps in your leg or whatever. It's all funny and fun! If you're focused on looking hot and being really technically good, you will not enjoy yourself and neither will he. He just wants to feel like you're happy to be there with him. It does not matter if you're doing crazy positions or making sexy noises; genuine passion will always trump being "good" (whatever that means) at it. He will catch onto what you like if you communicate with him about it, and before you know it he'll know exactly what he's doing pretty much every time. Verbal and physical communication is key. And take time outside the bedroom to talk about it. Ask about what's good, what isn't, what you or he wants to try, maybe buy some books to flip through together, and just enjoy learning with one another.

Title	How to be more flexible and fun when having sex?
Author	AdministrationOk3971
Upvotes	3
Comments	15
Date	January 16, 2023 7:10 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/10dog31/how_to_be_more_flexible_and_fun_when_having_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-to-be-more-flexible-and-fun-when-having-sex.1148944 https://theredarchive.com/post/1148944

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