"Men dominate women with unrealistic beauty standards / men are pigs who will sleep with anything" - help me out with examples to reveal the misandry.

SRSLovesGawker · 2013-11-11T21:12:11+00:00

Really? Unrealistic beauty standards? Let's take a look, shall we?

OkCupid used to do some really nifty number crunching back in the day when they had people to crunch numbers. One of those crunches regarded the distribution of attractiveness by gender, which you can read about here.

Turns out that men's opinions of women's appearances result in a nice smooth gaussian (normal distribution) with the peak, as one might expect, about where the median is. That is to say, men thought that half of the available women were "better looking than average", and the other half were "worse looking than average". Well, better/worse than median, but you get the idea.

Women have a similar curve when it comes to evaluating the physical appearance of men, except the curve is shifted to the left. That is to say, women consider more than 50% of men as "below average".

How much more?

By the OkCupid research, 80% of men are below-average in looks.

So there's certainly an unrealistic beauty standard being set, but it's not being set by men on women.

chosimab0001 · 2013-11-11T23:29:02+00:00

I honestly don't have any specific or 'famous' examples that would reveal any misandry, but I can't see how you could hold both of those views at the same time.

What I mean is, say I had a standard for beauty. This standard is that people with black hair, and 3 tatoos, and a BMI of 18.5 are beautiful. If you don't meet the standard, you just aren't beautiful.

Now, obviously that's not how I define beauty, but if I proactively held to that standard (even going as far as to telling people who don't make the cut that they aren't beautiful) do you think that people would say "Oh, he's a pig and will sleep with anything."?

On the other hand, say that the only qualification for me to want sex with you, was that fact that I could. That's it. Do you think that people would say "Oh, he's holding people to an unrealistic beauty standard."

I've certainly heard BOTH of those statements said, but I've never heard them being said about that SAME person. Those statements seem nothing more than an attempt to justify why someone isn't interested in you.

Being able to say "This person doesn't want me because they hold an unrealistic beauty standard" is far easier to digest than "Maybe I'm not what that person is looking for."

As far as the "Men are pigs who will sleep with anything" goes, I never hear people say that about the men that they love. People who hold that idea seem to forget that their father/brother/SO is also a man, and would have to fall under that generalization as well. So your Dad is just a pig who would slept with your mom, right?

Finally, there are people who hold unrealistic beauty standards, and there are people who will sleep with anything, but those definitely aren't traits that are only intrinsic to men nor are they traits that every man possesses.

fluxBurns · 2013-11-12T03:49:54+00:00

I think women compete with each other and try to out do one another in looks. That's where the pressure comes from. Not men demanding women be made up or anything but in basic good shape.

It sounds more like they are really saying, 'I want access to the best of men, even though I am not particularly attractive'.

anachronic · 2013-11-11T22:12:13+00:00

Men don't have unrealistic beauty standards.

Women just tend to think 'don't be 30 lbs overweight' is an unrealistic beauty standard.

2013-11-12T01:32:03+00:00

It's been shown that women believe they look best and think men will perceive them as attractive at a much lower weight than men actually prefer. A lot of the weight based standard of beauty is perpetuated by the media, most notably the fashion industry, which prefers thin women to model because they don't distract attention away from the clothing. So it's not men that actually want women to look that way, women have just been made to believe that men/people do so that industry can make money.

As for the "men are pigs" comment, why does a willingness to sleep with anything make you a pig? Who cares? If it were true, what is so disturbing about a person having lower standards than you if they're happy with what they have? Someone mentioned this phenomenon in another thread: someone who works hard to look a certain way and sees "ugly" people or people they imagine didn't work as hard as them to maintain an absurd beauty standard, find a partner you get all pissy about it. Why don't you like me I am waaay better. It's petty. I mean, sorry you worked your ass off for something it turns out people don't actually like but it's not the fault of the man who didn't chose you.

mtux96 · 2013-11-12T07:39:28+00:00

"Men dominate women with unrealistic beauty standards" and "men are pigs who will sleep with anything." actually contradict each other.

If men will sleep with anything, then looks don't matter and thusly men do not dominate women with unrealistic beauty standards.

But I guess the same could just be said of women who dominate men unrealistic wealth standards, but in the end everyone has their own set of standards. Some might have unrealistic goals of what their mate should be and I have a feeling most of those will just end up lonely.

anachronic · 2013-11-12T02:45:28+00:00

You could start by introducing the person who said that to some actual mature men and women.

That quote sounds like it was said by a teenager who still has a very long way to grow up.

sens2t2vethug · 2013-11-12T12:15:50+00:00

I'm not quite sure what the OP wants here. However, I think the example quotes he/she gives basically reveal the misandry by themselves, because they contradict each other.

How can men have unrealistic beauty standards and also sleep with anything? The two sayings seem to imply that men are bad when they have high standards for who they sleep with and also when they have lower standards for who they sleep with. Put side by side, the sayings suggest nothing except that men are often stigmatised and insulted just because it's convenient, rather than because of any consistent objection. In fairness to women, it's a bit like how women are sometimes called sluts if they like sex and frigid if they don't!

rightsbot · 2013-11-11T20:46:17+00:00

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Title	"Men dominate women with unrealistic beauty standards / men are pigs who will sleep with anything" - help me out with examples to reveal the misandry.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	33
Comments	44
Date	November 11, 2013 8:45 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1qeh94/men_dominate_women_with_unrealistic_beauty/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/men-dominate-women-with-unrealistic-beauty.1159063 https://theredarchive.com/post/1159063

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