~ archived since 2018 ~
Popular
Other
[deleted]
[–][deleted] 11 points12 points13 points 12 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link
People say to tell the criminals not to rape when in reality it just won't work. Will a rapist listen to a women's group? Obviously not. People have been saying to tell men not to rape or raise the punishment for it when in reality people have been saying not to murder for thousands of years and the punishment for that is usually death. Does murder still happen? Do we have signs telling black people not to murder even if they commit more murders statistically?
[–]HugeFish 12 points13 points14 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Well the reason black people commit more murders statistically is because we don't have signs telling them specifically not to murder. Duh.
[–]bosh-head7 points 12 years ago* [recovered] (7 children) | Copy Link
So do you think rapists are just biologically determined from birth? That a person's upbringing, the culture, the messages they receive about sex, about men, about women, etc, have absolutely nothing at all to do with whether they will rape?
[–]lokidemon731 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Their upbringing may have something to do with it, for example people who were raped are more likely to rape someone else. However, telling a rapist not to rape, regardless of why they are inclined to rape, will not change their mind.
[–]bosh-head2 points 12 years ago* [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
I really disagree with this. The rape we're talking about isn't the drag-you-into-the-bushes kind of rape. The perpetrators of the kind of rape we're talking about don't feel like they're doing something wrong. There may be bystanders that don't feel like something wrong is happening, either.
I think people can be educated about that.
I remember during sex ed, the teacher said that if someone says 'no' or 'stop', you have to stop immediately. And one of the boys asked "Even if you've already started?"
That's a pretty horrifying question. But I don't think the guy asking it was some inherently evil person. I think people can be confused and misinformed about what constitutes consent and what is okay, and that educating people about this is one way to reduce rape.
There are men (and women) who feel that no doesn't really mean no, that's it's just "part of the game." There are men and women who think that if someone puts themselves in a situation where sex is likely to happen, that means they've consented to any sex that does happen. People can learn to be introspective about those beliefs, and hopefully discard them.
[–]lokidemon731 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
The perpetrators of the kind of rape we're talking about don't feel like they're doing something wrong.
Rapists don't feel like they're doing anything wrong, generally speaking, regardless of what type of rape they are committing. It's been proven in studies that they think all men are secretly rapists and what they're doing is normal.
The rape we're talking about isn't the drag-you-into-the-bushes kind of rape.
I was not dragged into the bushes and raped. I was raped by someone very close to me who I loved and cared about. However, it was very intentional nevertheless. I was threatened and pushed to do something I very clearly did not want to do.
That's valid and that is something you can teach. There are some things that young people might not understand, but you see that it's already being taught. You don't keep going when someone tells you to stop, that's wrong. Adults know that's wrong because they were taught the same way you were.
Yeah, those people hold shitty beliefs, but I don't know that they'd be rapists. I once read an article where a woman said if you sleep in a man's bed you automatically consent to sex with him. But I doubt that men who agree with her would push the issue and force sex on a woman who slept in their bed if the woman said no. They might feel angry and cheated, but I don't think they would be rapists. Assholes yes, rapists, probably not.
[–]bosh-head3 points 12 years ago* [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
I'm sorry for what happened to you, thank you for sharing your experience and insight.
The general point I'm trying to make is that, aside from the small percentage of people who are true sociopaths, we really do have ways of encouraging good in people and discouraging bad.
I think it's very dangerous to say that "Well, there's just a certain percentage of rapists/murderers/muggers/etc out there and they'll always be with us." It's just not true. Culture matters. Values matter. Education matters. The ideas that we have and the way we talk about people all matter.
But I doubt that men who agree with her would push the issue and force sex on a woman who slept in their bed if the woman said no.
Well if she's asleep she can't say "no." They might just start anyway.
[–]lokidemon731 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank you and you're welcome. I know that there are also situations in which rape is a mistake and not intentional, but I think they're rare as I'll mention later.
I agree that our cultural approach could use some work. But I also think that rape is inevitable. We will never have a utopia.
Yes, and that's what the woman was advocating, unfortunately. Because she's ok with it when her boyfriend does it, every woman should be in every situation. This again is one of those bad education situations. We do need to teach men and women not to start having sex with a sleeping person. I do concede that you're right, there are some things that can be taught. I still think it's a far cry from being able to teach people not to rape and expecting that to solve the problem. I think situations like having sex with a sleeping person or not stopping midway through are outliers and that most rape is intentional. They are difficult situations of course, because of the guilt the perpetrator will feel and the confusion of the victim who has no one to blame. I don't want to minimize their importance. But if they are, as I suspect, the exceptions to the rule and most rapists are aware that what they're doing would be labeled rape, the idea that we can teach away that seems silly to me. Maybe, hopefully, they can be rehabilitated, but it will take a lot more than saying "hey, you shouldn't rape people".
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Of course, but by the time they're in college campuses most of their personality has been formed. People's personalities start to grow in their early teens. Also, people do have many different levels of psychological wellness see psychopaths that might predispose them to be worse people. Since there is no fine line for psychopathy I think that most of the people who do horrible things like rape murder etc. etc. are somewhere on the brink (psychopathy btw meaning lack of empathy for other or maybe I'm getting that confused with sociopathy.)
[–]rapey_raperson 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Kind of like a "Don't Butcher" campaign in the war-torn African nations. "Now remember not to torture people in front of their children when you go to work today."
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I would be ok with telling criminals/potential criminals not to commit crimes if it actually worked, but someone who has the audacity to rape someone is not gonna listen to a bunch of fat tumblr feminists telling all men off.
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
People say to tell the criminals not to rape when in reality it just won't work. Will a rapist listen to a women's group? Obviously not.
You're right that a compulsive, serial rapist just isn't going to listen to a sign. There are others who may listen though. Maybe the people around him who have their suspicions but try to rationalize away what's happening. Maybe the people who excuse a rapist and tell a victim it was their fault by not fighting hard enough, being dressed that way etc. Maybe someone whose sexual assault doesn't represent a fundamental sexual urge but rather a response to culture that says "she was flirting, even though she's completely wasted sex is just fine".
You don't preach to the choir and you don't preach to the damned. You preach to those who can be saved.
[–]Douggem 8 points9 points10 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Your post is full of strawman arguments. They seem like typical feminist talking points regarding sex, but I've literally never heard someone say that it was a rape victim's fault that their fault they got raped - ever, except when I hear stories from the middle east.
In America, male-on-female rape is considered worse than murder. Men that are accused of it are almost always presumed guilty, it has a higher false accusation rate than other crimes by more than 2x according to the FBI, and it's such a serious matter that murder jokes are OK but rape jokes are taboo. Unless it's a male-on-male rape joke, such as prison rape, or a female-on-male joke, in which of course the guy wanted it anyway, duh!
Rapists know rape is wrong. People know that if someone is passed out drunk or can't walk, that they can't consent. The reason rapists rape isn't because they don't know better, but because they don't care that it's wrong. Telling them not to rape won't help.
What would be more effective, posters explaining to thieves that breaking into cars is wrong, or me locking the doors to my car? If I leave my car unlocked and someone steals my CD book, is it victim blaming for someone else to suggest I start locking my car?
[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points0 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I've literally never heard someone say that it was a rape victim's fault that their fault they got raped - ever
You've never heard someone say "If she didn't want it to happen why didn't she say no more than once" or "people say no and are persuaded into sex all the time, he/she should have physically resisted".
Here are a couple examples off the top of my head from a recent thread.
Are yu fucking kidding me? If he was raping her why didnt she bite his dick or punch him in the face? Saying “I‘m not in the mod“ then letting him have sex with her IS NT Rape. The word in its broadest definition, from what I understand, is forcibly having sex with a person who does not want to have it. If my bf continued after I said no, I'd throw a fit. Say no again. Throw him off. Punch him. Scream. I wouldn't simply allow it to happen then be angry or upset with him AND myself afterwards. I'm sorry, I just don't see eye to eye with that. Rapists know rape is wrong.
Are yu fucking kidding me? If he was raping her why didnt she bite his dick or punch him in the face? Saying “I‘m not in the mod“ then letting him have sex with her IS NT Rape.
The word in its broadest definition, from what I understand, is forcibly having sex with a person who does not want to have it.
If my bf continued after I said no, I'd throw a fit. Say no again. Throw him off. Punch him. Scream. I wouldn't simply allow it to happen then be angry or upset with him AND myself afterwards. I'm sorry, I just don't see eye to eye with that.
Rapists know rape is wrong.
Well, you could take a look at the same thread or any other where confusion about consent abounds. Almost everyone will tell you rape is wrong but you get vastly different messages about what rape actually is. Whole subs here hold the position that its impossible to rape an SO. That simply being conscious is good enough for consent while intoxicated. That unless you believe you're raping someone you aren't. You can hardly deny that there is plenty of confusion about the boundaries of consent.
What would be more effective, posters explaining to thieves that breaking into cars is wrong, or me locking the doors to my car?
Well this analogy starts from a rather silly premise. You seem to take for granted that rape victims engaged in risky behavior or could reasonably predict and prevent their rape. Most rape takes place at the victim's home or the home of friends/family. The vast majority of rapists are known to their victims. So how do you suggest victims "lock up their cars"? Not have friends or family? Assume that everyone they know is a potential rapist and act accordingly? I don't think that kind of paranoia serves anyone at all.
The way to deal with theft (or any other criminal behavior) is to effectively prosecute the crime and create a culture not conducive to thieves or thievery. Not to ignore the egregious actions of the perpetrator and the culture that perpetuated it in order to focus on the innocuous actions of the victim.
[–]rapey_raperson -1 points0 points1 point 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The straw men, sock puppets and FemiNazis are out in force on this thread. They would welcome a world where everyone is scrutinizing men for signs of their being a rapist. In their eyes, men are rapists whenever a woman has sex and her partner isn't a perfect devoted slave-like Prince Charming for the entire time they are involved, and for at least 6 months thereafter.
[–]Mytecacc -3 points-2 points-1 points 12 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
They are talking about the principle of it really.
[–]Muffinizer1 9 points10 points11 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Far from the best examples you could have used. There are much worse campaigns endorsed by feminism, these, meh. And I agree with them. In an ideal world I would not have to lock my doors, or hide away valuables in the city. In an ideal world anyone who stole from me would be punished and the evidence would be easy to prove, and I would never be left stolen from without the perpetrator free and my stuff not reimbursed. But we don't live in that world, and I lock my stuff up, and acknowledge if I am stolen from, it isn't my fault, but I need to take more precautions in the future to prevent it from happening. I know that just because the person who stole from me was a certain race, they don't represent their entire race. And their race isn't fundamentally flawed. That's where some feminists go wrong. Like any crime, there are things you can do to reduce the chances of falling victim, and of course, not all rapists are a single demographic.
[–]Mytecacc 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
If you don't want to lock your doors, you can move to an area with little to no crime culture. Like country areas where its still normal to leave the key in the front door for convenience.
That's one of their points, if people are saying you have to lock your doors, its only because of crime culture.
[–]INeedANewAccountMan 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Totally Relevant video from Thunderf00t
[–]ElfmanLV 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Let's teach people not to steal so people won't have to use locks anymore. Yeah, great fucking idea.
[–]avantvernacular 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Last one on the bottom doesn't. It doesn't mention gender.
[–]lonmoer3 points 12 years ago* [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Your spelling sucks and this really isn't relevant unless all 3 pics came from the same source. Would you like to be blamed for some of the ridiculous things a random mens rights person says?
[–]UDT22 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Statistics show most crime in the US is committed by black men. There are more black men in prison than in college. Can you imagine the reaction from Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton if there was a campaign launched teaching black men not to commit crimes.
[–]CaptainChewbacca 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Can we tell men to not rape AND tell women to not engage in risky behavior like getting blackout drunk with a stranger?
[–]danjr 4 points5 points6 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Even better: Tell men and women not to rape, and tell women and men to not engage in risky behavior like getting blackout drunk with a stranger.
[–]FruitierGnome 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
But women are more responsible than men, right? They want to be equal but wont even accept equal responsibility. That's why in this situation she can be helpless but not him.
[–]rapey_raperson 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I can see the feminist straw men and sock puppets are out in force again. Intelligent conversation about the topic of "all men are rapists waiting to strike, we must train them to be human" is simply not possible. For any concerned MRA to treat the topic seriously is unconscionable.
My username is my reaction to the "Rape Culture", "Rape Eyes", "Rape Everything" campaign the misandrists harp on. This is simply another tool the male-hate groups and misandrists use to try and control what rights men will be permitted.
As Rapey_Raperson, I call bullshit to this every time I comment on reddit.
[–]lokidemon731 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You spelled cognitive wrong. Also, the very bottom poster is gender neutral. Other than that, good post.
[–]ejk314 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Feminists aren't a homogeneous group. Some feminists believe the top poster. Some feminists are better represented by the bottom ones. That's not cognitive dissonance.
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
[–][deleted] 11 points12 points13 points (17 children) | Copy Link
[–]HugeFish 12 points13 points14 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]bosh-head7 points [recovered] (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]lokidemon731 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]bosh-head2 points [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]lokidemon731 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]bosh-head3 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]lokidemon731 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]rapey_raperson 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Douggem 8 points9 points10 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points0 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]rapey_raperson -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Mytecacc -3 points-2 points-1 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Muffinizer1 9 points10 points11 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Mytecacc 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]INeedANewAccountMan 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ElfmanLV 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]avantvernacular 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]lonmoer3 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]UDT22 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CaptainChewbacca 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]danjr 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]FruitierGnome 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]rapey_raperson 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]lokidemon731 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ejk314 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link