Why do a lot of people only associate femininity with outward appearance?

JadedByEntropy · 2021-03-27T02:52:31+00:00

Because working on yourself takes responsibility. Slapping on a popular hip shade of nail polish is publishable advice.

Most "be a good woman" advice is just "be a good human" basic skills

DownvoteMe2021 · 2021-03-27T03:07:09+00:00

The current loudest voice is one of rejection of the traditional feminine roles. Folks who feel women are objectified "need" to reject women who don't, to maintain their narrative. As a centrist persona (I lean socially left, fiscally right, and relationship-wise right), I believe each person ought to choose their preferred roles; compatibility is far more important in my view that what modern feminism considers "equality".

However, any "tribe" with a belief that "X" behavior is bad tends to condemn others who appreciate that behavior just to secure their own tribes solidarity towards that behavior and prevent members of their own tribe from considering it. Independence is frowned upon in tribal mentality.

Vidhik2906 · 2021-03-27T10:47:15+00:00

It is actually always about the inner attributes. You can be all pretty dolled up outside but If you don't possess the feminine qualities, it is all fake and whatever you are trying to achieve with that false self is not going to happen. This is also true that dressing up in a feminine way indeed affects how feminine you feel inside. And if you are feeling a rush of feminity inside, you'll also prefer to dress up that way.

Freja_Walther · 2021-03-26T23:12:13+00:00

Jealous? Competitive behaviour? General disagreement? There are a lot of theories on why people and especially women put down feminine attributes.

Some women use it to lower your value so their value compared are higher, some women have bad experiences with femininity and associate it with oppression.

Fancy-Ad657 · 2021-03-27T13:15:20+00:00

First off: Yes, there are a lot of elements that are viewed feminine besides looks.

Now, the first thing a man sees is the looks of a woman. You need to look at it from a first impression stand point. This does a lot and gives an impression what kind of person you are. Do you wear a classy dress without too much cleavage, then you give a certain impression then if you compare it with someone with a short skirt and tight shirt.

My male gut feeling says that the classy dress woman is more marriageable then the short skirt one. So looks gives off a lot of elements on how feminine a woman is internally.

Do you need to be drop dead gorgeous? Heck no. I would marry a 4 on the looks department. But fit is a requirement. Because being fit gives off the impression that you aren't a compulsive emotional eater, it allows you to live longer and chances of complications at birth are relatively low. I for one, need my future wife to be by my side for a long time. So I require her to be a healthy/stable person.

But a feminine woman is a gentle woman that is agreeable, submissive, timid, has certain skills, etc.

The reason women ridicule each other is basically them trying to push you down so they have less competition for the men. Don't let them get to you because when you get married to a good husband, they will be the most jealous creatures in the world that will whisper lies to you so you will leave the husband and then they get a chance at him. Basically feminism in a nutshell.

throwawayisathing · 2021-03-27T10:20:58+00:00

I think that the reason that femininity is associated with appearance is because of the general focus on appearances rather than ones personal attributes. Feminism has probably had a big influence as well, because of the narrative that women can be career focused, strong willed like men etc. There was a recent post on here that talked about the reason some women are miserable, is because they expect their man to change but at the same time expect a man to love them for who they are. They don’t have to ever think about changing themselves to be attractive to the man they’d like to attract, and you don’t attract him that way for sure. There is no focus on self improvement where your goal is also to please the kind of man you want to attract. That is, according to many, to not be true to yourself because you do not solely have your own needs in mind. It’s more accepted to change your looks (femininity on the outside) to attract a partner, but not so much your inner attributes.

When talking about studies, I would assume that it’s also hard to measure inner femininity. You can’t see it, it’s most likely not defined yet etc. Also as I explained, it doesn’t seem to be very interesting for a lot of people, which might be why there aren’t any studies on it.

Fabiosmuse · 2021-03-26T22:39:26+00:00

Could you give examples/explain more about what you mean by “feminine characteristics”?

aigars2 · 2021-03-27T11:34:57+00:00

The same reason men are associated manly with a body builder physique.

rosesonthefloor · 2021-03-27T14:42:28+00:00

The book “White Feminism” by Koa Beck goes into depth at a few points of the historical devaluation of feminine/domestic labor and how that kind of work (historically always done by women) is usually/always overlooked in a lot of contexts. It also discusses how femininity both played into and was the enemy of feminism at different points in time. It might be a good resource if you haven’t read it already!

merabaid · 2021-03-28T01:30:01+00:00

What a lot of women don't realize and some men is that when men judge women by their appearance it's not by any specific standard of beauty, it's what they can instinctively perceive by looking at her. They can see if she is relaxed, calm, nurturing (unless she's a really good fake or he's out of touch with his instincts) regardless of how put together or girly she might look that day.

It's not about wearing lipstick or spending extra time in the mirror. Men can perceive things about women based on things we don't even notice we're doing. This is why women who meet the standard of beauty in their community still complain about men not approaching them, not getting boyfriends, etc.

Unless their strategic or go after men who are out of touch a woman who looks feminine but deep down are very aggressive/toxic will be avoided.

LateralThinker13 · 2021-03-31T16:34:34+00:00

It's easy to measure external femininity. Kindness, submissiveness, demureness, pleasantness, etc. are much harder to quantify.

WanWhiteWolf · 2021-04-02T11:43:47+00:00

From what I've seen the number one reason is the justification of women on their own values.

For example, feminine women are gentle, agreeable and not confrontational. A woman who adheres to a typical modern feminist approach would perceive the other woman as weak. On one hand she tries to justify her own way of life by undermining the alternative. It makes them feel good that "they picked the right way". Some maybe might do it out "willingness" to help the other women to see the "correct path". Although, in this scenario, ridiculisation is not on the table.

It happens on the other side (men) as well. Less masculine men are attempting to downward masculine behaviors of other men. God forbid you threat a woman right and admitting to it in a circle of men; you don't deserve to have balls unless you are messing with her psychology.

The reason why it happens more and more is because it's less and less normal. People tend to react what it's not normal. As more women because less feminine and more men become less masculine, the one's who are true to their nature and hold their ground pay the price.

Title	Why do a lot of people only associate femininity with outward appearance?
Author	PirateStill
Upvotes	10
Comments	13
Date	March 26, 2021 10:36 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/me0b4u/why_do_a_lot_of_people_only_associate_femininity/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/why-do-a-lot-of-people-only-associate-femininity.1187423 https://theredarchive.com/post/1187423

Comments