Why should I be bothered to put in the effort to look prettier?

Forsaken-Alternative · 2021-03-21T19:04:44+00:00

I feel happier and more confident when I put in effort. When I was in college, I always dolled up more than usual for final exams, because it helped calm my nerves. My fiance also appreciates it. But I also wear glasses, don't do makeup often, and style my hair without heat. I mostly just do the beauty things I find relaxing and enjoy doing.

All_Lurk_No_Post365 · 2021-03-21T19:29:30+00:00

I'm a guy who would probably feel the same way if I had a gf rn but I can tell you that even when I'm just at home or running errands I just feel better and carry myself better when I get a clean shave, keep up with my haircuts, gel my hair and dress with good clothes vs when I go with a hat and joggers.... Subconsciously when you put in effort into your appearance you basically tell yourself you are worth putting in effort for and deserve to be seen in a good light. Also people treat you better when you are put together, this goes for both genders.

Needless to say I am a guy and getting ready takes a fraction of the time it takes a girl but I can totally understand not wanting to trade in an hour of sleep for vanity.

Lustfultiger · 2021-03-21T20:17:30+00:00

I feel the exact same way.. But honestly, I feel so much better after curling my hair and doing my makeup. The days I go out after I do those things, I get looks from women and men when I usually do not, and it makes me feel good (not that you're doing it for anyone else, but I guess it's almost like a compliment?), it boosts my low self-esteem a bit. It's self care. I feel depressed when for extended periods of time I don't wear makeup, because I almost forget what my potential to look pretty is? I look plain bare faced. Maybe it'd do the same for you

2021-03-21T19:31:07+00:00

This answer is going to be from a man so there we go.

I think you should put effort into looking good just as you did when you were single ! Not for other mens attention no. Firstly for you man and secondly for yourself.

Would you want a man who was in shape. Who woke up 5 am everyday to hit the gym. To look good and healthy then when he gets into a relationship he let's himself go and don't look as good anymore ? I think not.

You should take of your fitness and look. Doesn't have to be full makeup and for the most part men prefer lighter makeup most of the time.

2021-03-21T22:18:01+00:00

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LateralThinker13 · 2021-03-21T22:17:43+00:00

In fact, I feel like there aren't many benefits. I already have a long term bf so I don't need any male attention.

Do you realize you're already taking your BF for granted, and not putting in the effort for HIM? He surely appreciates you looking your best. Maybe not an hour's worth, but... you do realize that it probably makes him happy, right?

Also, looking good makes YOU feel good, and have a better day. How good a person looks generally affects their attitude and demeanor.

Just think about it.

Underground-anzac-99 · 2021-03-22T00:23:12+00:00

Rather than focussing on the near moral dimensions look at it practically. Cant curl your hair in the morning? Plait it the night before then unplait it and fluff it up.

Eyelash and brow tint or a lash lift mean no mascara or eyebrow pencil. If you can’t afford it go to a student place, they’re very cheap. A good skincare routine beats lots of foundation et al.

Stay healthy and fit and you should be fine.

hb408 · 2021-03-22T01:40:09+00:00

I used to feel the same way you do, however I’ve noticed a HUGE difference in the way people treat me and the benefits that open up to me when I look dolled up. Cashiers have given me free food, men will offer to help me carry things, I’ve had interviews/job offers given to me on the spot, etc.. So what I did was find a way to look attractive that takes the least amount of time. Getting lash extensions and halo extensions and flat ironing my hair once a week had cut down my routine to 10 minutes in the morning (besides showering/basic hygiene) and 5 minutes max at night, which is really not much.

Latter_Ad_6840 · 2021-03-22T03:52:36+00:00

At 20 I would say don't sweat it. This might be controversial but whatever. You can try things out once a week or something, like experimenting with nail colours, learning how to do your makeup in a basic way, seeing what colours fit with you, that's what I did. But at 20 I had neither the money or the time. At 20 you should be investing in yourself because once you graduate and have money and time it will be infinitely easier.

I will say this, I kind of did care about my appearance when I was younger and my current boyfriend knew me then and said he was intimidated by me (I don't know why because he's pretty attractive), and harboured this crush that blossomed into something more now. So in that sense it was worth it for me. But I think that's more luck than a reason?

merabaid · 2021-03-22T17:57:36+00:00

I don't think there's any reason you need to get up an entire hour early to look nicer.

For one thing, there's nothing wrong with dressing for comfort, but every now and then it's good to go a little further, still, I wouldn't put an hour into it.

I had a job once where I had to wear make-up, high heels and dress-up every day because my job was to model a certain look and presence for students. It took me 10-30 minutes extra to do all this.

Plan one or two days a week. Dresses are your friend, what's hard about a one-piece outfit? Get the simplest dresses you can find and just know your body type. I almost only wear dresses and it takes me a few minutes to get ready.

As for make-up you don't have to do all the things. What are your best features? Find one or two things you can do to accentuate your positives.

I usually just focus on my eyes and add a little lip color but I like a natural look even when I do a full face. I think saving these things for special or rare occasions is a really great thing. You learn to love how you look normally, everyone else does too and when you go all out it will be a welcome surprise rather than an expectation (I've never had the dreaded what's wrong you look sick because I wear make-up seldomly and when I do most people can't tell I'm wearing it).

nessdawwwwg · 2021-03-23T12:55:54+00:00

There is a middle ground between putting in no effort and glamming up.

I'm a SAHM so it wouldn't be practical for me to spend the money or the time to completely doll up.

I focus on skincare so i can get away with some tinted moisteriser, eyeliner and mascara. My hair is usually in a cute bun as mr 11 month old pulls it otherwise. I am curating my wardrobe to have flowy house dresses and comfortable knits, in my season colours that compliment me.

ActionCopy · 2021-03-23T14:03:31+00:00

From what ive obvserved this is very common in relationships. One of the partners (or both of them) stop putting in effort to maintain attraction and hence become complacent like getting fat, lounging a bit too much, lazy sex etc.

If your bf couldn't care less and you don't like that amount of effort then you shouldn't worry about it. I have a routine (short) that helps me stay groomed and look/smell decent, almost like brushing your teeth. And I throw in an accessory just incase but nothing over the top.

But maybe if you can make a habit of just doing the bare minimum, not curling your hair but at least a neat ponytail/bun and fitted clothing whenever your leaving the house (go for neutral colors just to avoid the headache), make up isn't necessary but moisturize ya face after the shower.

There are benefits: increased confidence (though you may not need it), discipline and a host of others but usually more towards the societal benefits.

But TL;DR make a habit of doing your essentials, nothing more, nothing less

NoCardiologist8249 · 2021-03-25T16:49:48+00:00

You have to do whatever makes you happiest. Some women are happiest when they put all that time and effort into their appearance. My mother is one. She would spend an hour putting on her make up and doing her hair. I don’t get that. I shower, put lotion on, get dressed and leave. I prefer to sleep as long as possible before getting up and going.

There’s not much more to say than just do what works for you. There are no benefits to the extra effort other than attention/compliments and the happiness and confidence it gives you.

Title	Why should I be bothered to put in the effort to look prettier?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	11
Comments	25
Date	March 21, 2021 6:43 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/ma32z9/why_should_i_be_bothered_to_put_in_the_effort_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/why-should-i-be-bothered-to-put-in-the-effort-to.1190024 https://theredarchive.com/post/1190024

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