I'm over "male friendships"

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2021-03-21T17:20:38+00:00

Any man who crows constantly about being against rape is very likely a rapist covering for himself.

lemon777pie · 2021-03-21T18:25:03+00:00

he’s disconnecting for his mental health.

Translation: he’s ghosting you for making him face his shit personality. He still maintains his social accounts and enablers for image control.

2021-03-21T18:29:10+00:00

[permanently deleted]

imstah · 2021-03-21T19:09:06+00:00

I just blocked and deleted a male "friend" today who made a bunch of excuses for why he can't help an extremely vulnerable female "friend' of his who is basically getting passed around his entire friend group (except him, of course, he "would neeeeveer" 🙄). He was even like "of course they just want sex, what am I supposed to do" uhhh idk, voice your opinion and call them out on their predatory behavior? Stop being friends with them?

Interesting because I feel like MOST people who consider themselves good people would not hang out with a person scamming people out of money with false promises, but scamming women into sex with false promises is totally ok - most men probably hang out with 5 dudes who do this on a regular basis and don't blink an eye.

I used to be one of those "not all men, they have it hard, they aren't allowed to show emotion and they always have to be strong :( " but LOL - time to wake up and smell the patriarchy, buddy. All the cards are stacked in your favor - if your dating life sucks, women don't give you the time of day, you can't get laid, you feel forever alone - yeah it's more than likely your fucking fault. Time to toss the anime pillow, stop watching porn and do some soul searching to figure out what part of your being makes you intolerable to be around.

_queeeen_ · 2021-03-21T19:26:52+00:00

I’m not interested in new male friends either. I’m friendly with men from work. I love spending time with my friends’ HV male partners in a group setting. But the idea of being vulnerable with a new man in a platonic context carries no interest for me right now. Maybe that will change. But right now I’m protecting my Goddess-given female energy. 💕

jasaminex · 2021-03-21T23:09:53+00:00

Ugh. Same.

I used to believe really strongly that the whole "men and women can't be friends" was rubbish and that it was insulting towards women to suggest that we weren't able to maintain platonic relationships with men.

But honestly, I can count on one hand my friendships with men that haven't turned out to be "actually, he's always had a thing for me and was just waiting til I was single".

A few months ago, after having moved cities, I was pleased to find that a few of my friends with similar hobbies were local. Three men, two women. Despite me being absolutely crystal clear about having just ended a LTR, having zero interest in a relationship and just wanting to meet some new friends - two of these men tried to date me. One of them brought me gifts, made me cookies for my birthday, and was adamant that he was just doing it out of friendship, no expectations - just being nice, but...nope. Once I'd accepted that gift, he showed his true colours with "well, obviously that means you are into me, because otherwise you wouldn't have taken them".

I'm just so tired of it. I'm tired of having men insert their kindness coins like I'm a sex vending machine. I just feel really used and upset when it turns out that the person who I was pleased to have been getting along with has zero interest in friendship with me if there's no sex involved. The amount of men who I've been good friends with who then just VANISH as soon as I am concrete about the fact I will never sleep with them.

juicy_lime · 2021-03-22T05:05:04+00:00

This issue was really hard for me growing up. I love people and getting to know them well. Sadly I haven't had many good female role models in my life to show me what a strong supportive circle of female friends could be like. When I was younger I thought all my boy "friends" were happy to be around me because of the amount of understanding, support, and fun conversations I handed out. Then one by one they would confess feelings, insult me for not feeling the same way, and gtfo. I used to feel so abandoned and thought it was my fault, that I was being cruel in leading them on by being emotionally open and whatnot.

Well, fuck all of that. I don't think platonic friendship between heterosexual men and women is possible. Friendship just doesn't work the same way for us. Friendship between men is a sad, shallow experience of insulting each other for fun. I'd rather invest my time in HVW and build a web that us HVW and HVW-in-training can lean on. As much as I'd like to be real friends with some of the interesting men in my life, the sad truth is that they can't handle the level of friendship I want, and they all want to sleep with me anyway. So it's not going to work out. I don't pursue friendships with men anymore.

Title	I'm over "male friendships"
Author	Resident-Equipment95
Upvotes	131
Comments	11
Date	March 20, 2021 9:12 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/m9gcw2/im_over_male_friendships/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/im-over-male-friendships.1190221 https://theredarchive.com/post/1190221

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