Men who can’t take “no” as a full answer. Immediate red flag.

Something I do to vet men is to ask to reschedule the first date, close to the date. Sometimes I even reject a man’s advances immediately just to see his reaction and if he can take it in stride. Not necessarily so I know if he is worthy of my time and trust, but to see if I was right to reject him.

Example: I went to the beach by myself today. It was the first time I did so and after a period of tapering my medication and working on mental health, the relaxation was much needed. I read a self-help chapter on anxiety, I bought myself a healthy and delicious smoothie and worked on my tan. Headphones in, lying on a sunbed.

I decide to go to the pool to cool off and as soon as I get there, I notice two men in their 40s to 50s. I have this weird thought in my head, what if they are pushing each other to talk to me, like you go, no you go.

I couldn’t hear them through my music so it was like this “thin-slicing” guess.

Lo and behold I am leaving to go home when one of them talks AT me, “you, yes YOU. don’t go, don’t go.” You’d think someone would only demand that if they had something important to say. I was in the process of putting my cover up on when he had the audacity to say, “no, don’t put that on.” EXCUSE ME WHAT 😭

Please keep in mind without makeup and grooming I am a baby-faced 20-year old. People often think I’m still in school. My dentist thought I was 15, my work superior thought I was one of her clients and she services children 😭

He kept asking for my Snapchat, I didn’t realise people of that age used Snapchat, I even don’t. He kept prying, asking for my name, where I work, my Instagram and Snapchat and I think I said no four times. Each time he would ask why and I would come up with different reasons but I hated how meek and friendly I was being.

Eventually, I was getting sick of this shit and asked him how old he was. He said 54 and ?? I asked him, “and you still haven’t learned how to take no for an answer?”

He gave me this shit-eating grin and said, “I am persistent.” No sir, you’re a fucking nuisance! I looked at him in disbelief. 54, chasing a girl who could pass as a tween, not taking no because it’s ? Charming and quirky or something. Which village idiot convinced him of that?

Even afterwards he kept pestering but luckily I was just leaving.

Conclusion: any man that describes himself as persistent is plain annoying and might just take your “no” as a “yes” and do something criminal to you.

I see persistent guys the same as nice guys. Being nice isn’t a real trait, just like being persistent. It’s being kind and compassionate that’s really nice. And being resilient and determined (in the appropriate settings such as work) that’s actually admirable and attractive persistence. Not barking up a childlike tree.