Is anybody else red pilled because of a traumatic childhood?

ILoveCuteKitties · 2020-12-03T17:19:08+00:00

I was a daycare kid who didn’t see her mother but maybe an hour a day early on. Drop off at daycare by 6:30. Pick up at 4. Two hours of tv. Dinner. Bed. I missed my mom and me and my sibling would compete for attention. Family life was not warm and even though financially I had everything, my family was such a dysfunctional mess that it meant little. All I wanted was a nice functional family which meant me staying home with my kids while they were young and needed me the most. My experience as a kid helps me understand that the narrative on daycare being wonderful is pure bullshit. Babies need their moms full time. Babies need to be breastfed. Pumping sucks and is not the same experience. I think a lot of mamas are fucking exhausted working with little ones and trying to keep the laundry clean. I met the right man and realized feminism was toxic garbage of my own accord. Gender roles have been in place forever because they work. Also, being a quality mama means you have to be a quality wife because children deserve 2 parents who are together. It all runs together.

junior_primary_riot · 2020-12-03T19:30:41+00:00

I’m 39 years old, also the daughter of a narcissistic mother. My dad enjoyed working and worked long hours away from her, which I understand but he could have protected us more from the physical abuse and beatings she doled out frequently - almost daily - until my teenage years.

She was a stay at home mom but I wanted to break the cycle of abuse. I married a wonderful man and we had one child (male factor infertility prevented us from having additional children and IVF failed). I enjoy raising my son and have never abused him the way I was struck, thrown and shoved. It is possible and you have already made the decision that will make it possible in your future. You do not want it to carry on so you will stop it. You will be successful because you know how much it hurts. It is not even a temptation for me to harm my child. Not in the slightest.

When I was a teenager I could not picture my husband or the type of house I would live in but I did know that my home would be peaceful. A tidy, gentle, quiet, loving safe haven! I believe the woman is the heart and spiritual guardian of the home. She sets the tone of the household and manages how it runs and how it feels inside her home. I embraced some minimalism because I like how airy tidy cabinets look. By making the decision young that my home would be a safe haven of peace, it became easy for me to make choices that supported that decision. I didn’t desire clutter because it felt chaotic.

When my son was a toddler, a troubled family moved into the rent house up the street. The teenage boy would often come sit on the chairs on our front porch. I wondered why? I never shooed him away, just let him sit. He would stay for an hour sometimes, looking at the flowers and herbs I had planted near the porch or gazing off into space. One day I realized this poor child was seeking the safety of my front porch because of the atmosphere I had created inside my home. He could feel it from the porch and felt safe there, away from his step father. Small experiences like that give you the encouragement you need to continue to be a cycle breaker.

Life gets so much better when you move out. Being poor on a shoestring budget - even skipping meals - is nowhere near as awful as living with a narcissistic parent. I can tell that you have already made the core decisions necessary to create a happy home atmosphere for yourself. The nice thing is that men gravitate towards this as well, drawn by the warmth and love they feel in your space. ❤️

leftajar · 2020-12-03T18:51:54+00:00

Yes. My mother put me in daycare starting from 4 months of age. It messed me up pretty severely; I had bad anxiety my whole life, and found it very difficult to trust anyone in relationships. I'd often end up undermining them, to avoid reliving any feelings of abandonment.

As a result, I consider that my future family will have one stay-at-home parent as a non-negotiable, because I'm not willing to do that to my future kids.

lovelyllamas · 2020-12-03T21:53:36+00:00

Me! I’m so sad about how my mom raised me and I never want to end up like her. I kick myself in the ass everyday how I did not realize the damage in my early 20’s. Instead I thought I was some unique unicorn. All I want to do is raise 2-3 children properly and start my own (proper) legacy.

Javret · 2020-12-03T18:00:22+00:00

My childhood wasn't traumatic, at all. It was basically perfect. I have nothing to complain about. Of course, there are always the small things I want to make better for my kids (I would be a bit tougher on them than my parents were on me. I feel like i'm a bit weak compared to the old standard of women) but other than that if my kids lived my childhood, I would be thrilled.

I became red-pilled when I saw childhood's that some of my peers had. I mean no offense to ANYONE's upbringing but the chaos in some people's lives makes me sick. The lack of importance for family (it doesn't even have to be your own! My grandma took in runaway children back in the '80s and we still have them at every family gathering to this day) that some people have is gross.

I spend a lot of time thinking about how I want to raise my children. It's not in the society we have now. I don't want my daughters to grow up in a society where they are the victim and I don't want my sons growing up in a society where they are evil.

That's my perspective, anyway! I always find it interesting to see where people get their beliefs.

2020-12-03T18:49:24+00:00

Not exactly childhood trauma but definitely adolescent trauma, I absolutely ran towards more traditional modes of relationships after spending years 14 - 20 being friends with gays and anarchists. These people were all mentally ill, always crying and pursued destructive life paths. They hurt me over and over.

Instead, I actually looked back to my perfect childhood: a hard-working father who acted as our family leader, providing for my mother who stayed home to care for me and my sister. They had healthy, church-going friends who brought their kids over for me to play with. I realized that I wanted that.

2020-12-04T07:09:08+00:00

I'm a guy, but I absolutely relate to this. It's so frustrating when you tell others about coming from a liberal, feminist family and they immediately assume that means you had a fantastic childhood, when in reality, it's the exact opposite. I think for a lot of people these days, women in particular no offense, it's almost like their brains can't even begin to comprehend the possibility that feminism can have a bad side.

When you stop and think about it, feminism and liberalism are some of the only ideologies like this. Believers of most other ideologies are forced to question their beliefs every day just from daily interactions with other people. It seems like feminism and liberalism have reached a similar level of dominance in the west to where Christianity was in the Middle Ages. To even begin to question these dominant ideologies at any level inevitably raises suspicion among polite society, so we have to keep shit to ourselves and our therapists, or occasionally come to anonymous forums like this to speak our truth. It's nuts-- that's really the point that this has come to.

dontforgetclutchin · 2020-12-04T06:39:04+00:00

Yes but for different reasons. Like your mother, mine is a narcissist but so mean and emasculating towards my father. Constantly gaslighting and making him feel like he wasn’t good enough. My dad is a hard working very straight edge type of man and to see him reduced to a doormat at her feet is crazy! Also the way modern feminism treats men is appalling. My MIL has a quite traditional role, although she works and so does her husband she does the cooking and homemaking kinda so it was interesting to see that. I guess a combination of things led me here.

cakefacegalore · 2020-12-04T07:31:18+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story. It feels nice to have something relatable, in a sense.

I grew up very similarly to you, but at your age (I’m 23 now), I definitely had a more liberal viewpoint of the world and I was definitely a feminist. My mom was more right leaning politically but definitely had a “fuck men, but I depend on men to be happy” mentality.

My last relationship lasted three years and was insanely toxic. I didn’t feel like feminine energy was allowed, he claimed to want the RP lifestyle, but used that as a coverup of actually being manipulative. He wanted me to do wifely things but had no intention of even getting married to me one day. So my feminist and liberal views I feel were fueled even more because I didn’t feel like I was wanted. (I hope that makes sense I’m sorry).

I got with my partner now and that changed entirely. Of course not overnight, but I’m getting there and doing my best to be a better woman, for him, our future children, and myself everyday. He makes me feel loved and appreciated, he lets me be feminine and encourages it. He acts like I’m a gourmet chef when I cook, no matter what it is. It’s such a good feeling of being cared for and genuinely loved, especially since I had a lot of negative male attention from when I was young, to being in my earlier 20s.

I’m also a closeted RPW because everyone I know and have become close with still have that “Fuck men and their opinions” type of attitudes, and are definitely a stereotype of a feminist. I’ll come out about it one day, but I’m just not comfortable enough yet.

rdemar786 · 2020-12-04T05:08:52+00:00

This is one of the most insightful and comforting posts and replies I’ve come across to read thru, so thank you to OP for sharing your story to start this discussion. I wanted to add, make sure you don’t let anything get in the way of your ability to move out, because believe me it truly is the best thing you can do for your future life and well being to leave a negative home environment. I did it myself and I have immensely matured and improved as a person along with the support of my husband due to the independence and safe environment having your own home gives you! The distance also gives u space to realize that you might’ve picked up a few negative behaviors/thoughts from your previous environment just from being around negative ppl, and then you can work on overcoming them! I’m in my last year of university and in my 20s. If you’re able, look into getting work study in university as uni jobs can be a good supplement/replacement to outside work. (Library work study jobs are the best, can often just sit there and do school work for the majority of your shift. Tutoring can be good too) I really truly wish you the best of luck and happiness in your future life!

You_I_Us_Together · 2020-12-08T01:30:26+00:00

Hey dear, do not allow your past to divine you. You have amazing self reflection already at your age. Do you have any community in real life to share your feelings with?

Title	Is anybody else red pilled because of a traumatic childhood?
Author	throw_away4237
Upvotes	138
Comments	20
Date	December 3, 2020 4:46 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/k60u5o/is_anybody_else_red_pilled_because_of_a_traumatic/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/is-anybody-else-red-pilled-because-of-a-traumatic.1193529 https://theredarchive.com/post/1193529

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