Opinion wanted/needed

dday_throwaway3 · 2020-09-02T20:26:37+00:00

• Marriage only benefits women. Men accept all of the risk. Read the book “Men On Strike: Why Men Are Boycotting Marriage, Fatherhood, and the American Dream - and Why It Matters” by Helen Smith.

• Only get married because you want to get married. Ask yourself, what are the practical advantages? What would you gain? Would your troubles disappear? Getting married because she wants to is a recipe for disaster. "A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband, while a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife." – Charles Schwab

• Women want to get married, not to be married. They often love not so much their husbands, but their bridal-fantasy in which the man serves as a necessary prop. Marriage is validation for women. A married woman has proved to her peers that she can get a husband. Among women, divorced women are higher status than never married women. The rationale: if you're divorced, at least you got someone, anyone, to make the ultimate commitment to you and stand up in front your families and pledge his life to you.

• Marriage today has the potential to be the most damaging decision a man can make in his life – it’s a legal extortion scheme. You’re betting a woman half your net worth that you’ll love each other forever. Marriage is handing a woman an axe, then putting your head on a chopping block in the trust that she won’t cut it off. She doesn’t do the same for you.

• Women are predatory gatekeepers of sex. Prior to marriage, sex is her tool for seduction. After marriage, it is her tool for compliance. Married women understand they can use sex as a weapon because the cost of divorce is too high. All too often, married men are blind to the transactional nature of intimacy, and this ignorance perpetuates their servitude. You will have less sex, not more, if you marry.

• Getting married ‘for the tax break’ is bullshit. Divorce is way more expensive than whatever tax benefit you receive. Tax breaks are an artificial construct designed to incentivize behavior that benefits other people (government, women, society as a whole) but has no benefit to the person being offered them (you). It’s not a nice freebie because they are kind or you are awesome; it’s bait on the hook. It’s a shitty short term treat to trick you into acting against your long-term interests.

• This is what you’re missing out on when you don’t marry:

o Incessant whining, complaining and nagging. A wife’s idea of productivity is nagging her husband to do it.

o Being responsible for everything.

o Working the hardest.

o Being monitored, separated from your friends, and told how to spend your money.

o Being belittled and sex starved.

o Entitlement, including having to buy a ton of stuff you don’t care about because her friends have it so she can keep up with them.

o Emotionally high maintenance, including constant buzzkills and griping like listening to her complain about how hard her easy life is.

o Keeping her happy with no consideration for your happiness.

o Being disrespected because women don’t respect men. They just pretend to respect you long enough to get married.

o Having her lie about you to all your friends and family if you two disagree on anything substantial.

o Being locked up because she can call the cops on you anytime she wants to falsely accuse you of domestic violence. This includes being accused of sexual assault anytime she wants.

o When you divorce: Child support, alimony, and losing half of all your money. Also, parental alienation because women use kids as weapons.

• Getting married is like betting half your stuff she won’t cheat on you. No matter what she contributed, or did not contribute to the marriage, half of your stuff is hers. If you are not married, she has no claim on your assets, nor you on hers. That fact alone makes rejecting marriage the smartest financial move a man can make, and lets you avoid career slavery.

If marriage life is so bad, then why do people get married and stay married? Sunk cost fallacy. It’s like boiling a frog. If you throw a frog into a boiling pot of water, the frog will immediately hop out because it knows it’s in trouble. However, if you put the frog in a cool pot of water and raise the temperature over time the frog doesn’t see what’s happening until it’s too late. Once married, the power dynamic erodes slowly over time as the water boils.

"Realize that sleeping alone on a futon when you’re 30 is not the worst thing. You know what’s worse? Sleeping in a king bed next to a wife you’re not really in love with but for some reason you married, and you got a couple of kids, and you got a job you hate. You’ll be laying there fantasizing about sleeping on a futon. There’s no risk when you go after a dream. There’s a tremendous amount of risk to playing it safe." -Bill Burr

MajIssuesCaptObvious · 2020-09-02T21:33:34+00:00

I always reply, "No. Marriage is not for me." Then they ask why. Then I say that I don't want to risk my kids' inheritance. Then I tell them about my friend who just lost almost a quarter million dollars in attorney's fees and judgments, and they only make $80k/year.

2020-09-02T23:27:20+00:00

Easiest answer ever!

Marriage was in the eyes of god. That’s how it was for thousands of years. So sure, get married in front of god, get rings, change last name, have the ceremony and the whole enchilada!!

The key here is don’t get married to the government. If any woman doesn’t accept that marriage in front of god is good enough, then she isn’t worth marrying. 𝐓ax breaks and a 50% chance or losing everything you’ve worked your entire life to achieve, not to mention all your future income and assets too! No fucking thanks!

So don’t discount marriage. That isn’t the problem. Discount a “legal” marriage instead. And if she won’t accept that, there’s exactly the sign you need to realize exactly who she is as a person and knowing exactly that she can destroy you. Fuck that shit! Married in front of god. She turns into a pile of dog shit, cheating, lying, miserable nagging catastrophe of a woman..., kick her to the curb. You want to keep a woman half assed honest, you hold the cards. “Legal” marriage takes your entire deck of cards and holds them over a flame with her on the controls. No no no and no!!

Noseatbeltnoairbag · 2020-09-05T22:02:17+00:00

Hi. 38f here. Married 22 months. Yes, MONTHS, not years.

My ex wanted the divorce, I didn't.

Being that my marriage was over before it ever began, I feel like I got jipped. My sorry STBXH didn't even fight for the marriage. He left like a sorry coward and went back home to live with his mommy. Ok, that might be ok for his life, but I took my wedding vows seriously, and I wasn't lying when I said I wanted to be married. I do desire to be married and to have kids.

So, I understand what you are saying. No, getting served papers and splitting accounts wasn''t fun. But, I do know there are so many people who are married who are trustworthy. They get married, and they stay married. So, I will hold out until I find someone who wants to be married for a lifetime and who will love me unconditionally.

4agreements · 2020-09-02T20:13:59+00:00

Most people don’t want to remarry if they had to fight over silverware during the first divorce.

faith202076 · 2020-09-06T22:39:34+00:00

Their your feelings. They are not wrong

daedalis2020 · 2020-09-04T06:15:59+00:00

Sure but I will require more time cohabitating and a solid prenup.

Title	Opinion wanted/needed
Author	bigtony199077
Upvotes	0
Comments	24
Date	September 2, 2020 7:57 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/ile96g/opinion_wantedneeded/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/opinion-wantedneeded.1195567 https://theredarchive.com/post/1195567

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