Need a little help

lemmingsrevenge · 2020-03-02T00:38:51+00:00

Sorry brother. You'll have better days.

playerknowmore · 2020-03-02T01:37:57+00:00

She buttered you up to get an amicable divorce; while hiding her relationship and now wants to introduce your daughter to your replacement. I would text her back stating these new revelations may have to revisit the divorce agreement.

Dont sign anything yet tell her you need time for a review. Since you are not dating anyone; my conditions for introducing a new man into my child's life would be a background check. This could have been add in the custody agreement if she was honest with you.

If you mediated I hope you didn't give her a favorable financial settlement; hoping she would come back. If nothing else this shows you how shady she is. Tell you will give her the divorce; because now that you know she was playing you for a fool you want divorce more than ever, but the terms will be revisited. If she wants to replace you; fine, but you are not paying for it.

NohoTwoPointOh · 2020-03-02T00:46:01+00:00

Time to get your mind right. Playing nice guy will lose access to your daughter as well as the means to provide for her and be a proper father to her. I'm sorry this happened as it did. That said, hopefully it smacks some reality into you. You were a non-entity for the greater part of a year (LOL @ "five months").

Hopefully you have consulted with an attorney. Good luck!

SkierDude19 · 2020-03-02T02:44:41+00:00

Typical strategy of most women is to play on our emotions, you got played, sorry man but don't let it happen again or you will get screwed in family court

NWAustinDude · 2020-03-02T03:34:23+00:00

Sorry to hear about your situation brother. I’ve been there. The truth from what I’ve seen is that when they’re being “friendly” and over-communicating things are usually going well with the other party. When things aren’t going well, or there’s drama then they usually channel that back to you also. Don’t get sucked back in with texts, photos, etc. No contact (as limited as possible with kids) is the right call. Stick to email and respond only with direct communication about the kids or divorce related communications.

My divorce was finalized first part of February but it dragged out for 18 mo. During that time, my ex consistently lied to me about having “no one else” after she had been caught - along with many, many other things. She could easily pick up the phone and play nice.

My ex has ZERO credibility with me now and I trust nothing without verifying. That applies to all areas. They are expert liars. Its a game to them. When they text you, send pics, etc - they want attention. Nothing more. They have their new love - and they they have their old love on a string. They get off on it. No contact ends their game.

Be cautious, if your stbx wants to reconcile you will see a definite change in her attitude - it’s usually a sign that she and the new guy broke up or something happened in her other relationships and she’ll be using you for validation. It happened to me. Stay strong and go no contact. Do not trust her and stand your ground. You got this.

j_smith987 · 2020-03-02T03:53:46+00:00

You are a nice guy and your stbx is very likely a wh*re. She might even offer you sex to make the divorce quick and amicable and economically beneficial for her. I hope you realize that and get all your points in the divorce agreement. Since there is a kid involved, please list very very thoroughly how the visitation will work. I.e. dropoff/pickup days, time &location. Account for weekends, public holidays, spring break, summer vacation, Christmas vacation etc. Be very careful what you text/email. Even if you lose money and your mind now, get a divorce attorney to calculate any child support or alimony numbers. Don't worry. It will be over soon. Good luck.

SpearCatcher1 · 2020-03-02T23:14:19+00:00

Save those texts!

Title	Need a little help
Author	xmandaniels
Upvotes	16
Comments	7
Date	March 2, 2020 12:33 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/fc3mcy/need_a_little_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/need-a-little-help.1200193 https://theredarchive.com/post/1200193

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