I think I lost an attractive girl because of my PIED.

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anoriginalusername65 · 2022-12-22T05:26:16+00:00

Eh you win some you lose some. Don’t put all the blame on porn. Sometimes it’s just nerves. You’re putting this chick on a pedestal which increases your worries and the chance of not getting hard when the time comes.

My suggestion is to just keep moving forward. Don’t go chasing her, just improve yourself and find other women. If she comes to you, great! If not, there are plenty of fish in the sea.

I struggled with ED a few times in my earlier days due to nerves but I found it to be helpful if she jerks you off or sucks you off once or twice beforehand. Basically you go in steps and not just right to it on day one.

Edit- I want to add that the right girl will help you work thru this problem. You have to ask yourself if you really want a girl who will ghost you because you couldn’t get hard the first time. Is that someone who is truly into you? You deserve better than that, and you’ll find it.

hen-riss · 2022-12-22T10:30:31+00:00

Seems like you are already treating your body (ED), which is great, keep going.

I'm scared she's eventually just ghost me.

Now for this part, please go to the sidebar and annihilate it. You are already taking care of your body, now it's time for your mindset.

pedrosa18 · 2022-12-22T11:23:20+00:00

If she’s keeper material just tell her the truth and accept whatever happens

MrAnderzon · 2022-12-22T15:30:45+00:00

In hindsight AWALT

All girls are the same. All girls are different

But anytime there’s a post about a specific girl it’s almost already a loss for the OP. Because you treated her different from the other ones and got different results.

Treat all girls the same regardless of beauty until the act differently

It’s only a problem if you make it a problem.

agreable_actuator · 2022-12-22T08:14:26+00:00

You may be overthinking. ED is a real thing and may have many reasons. Maybe see a urologist. Maybe get tested for low T. Maybe try and address any underlying anxieties you have about sex. Maybe it’s just a temporary case of jitters. It happens and worry makes it worse. Try and live a healthier life -lifting, nutrition, rest. Most of the time ED goes away without drastic measures. I doubt you lost a girl due to it, but maybe due to loss if confidence/frame.

PIED is a made up issue up at worse, theoretical at best. There is a whole cottage industry making Money off guys by shaming them about touching their dick or looking at tiddys. Learn to think for yourself. No medical professional I know of thinks masturbation or porn use bad unless it’s a compulsion that takes us a huge amount of time better spent elsewhere. Moralizing about it just increases anxiety, which paradoxically increases desire for masturbation and porn.

Better than no fap is just focusing on leveling up. Lift heavier, dress better, study up on learned charisma. And practice what you have learned. Learn to ignore puritanical moralists. They don’t give a shit about you they just want your money or to feel superior.

Or listen to them It’s your dick and if you want to let other people ‘s moral codes dictate how you feel about your choices, knock yourself out.

SwagYoloJesus · 2022-12-22T15:30:01+00:00

it’s probably not porn.

I watch an average amount of porn, and there have been times when I was super hard with an ONS, and there were times when I just couldn’t get it up. it’s a mix of nerves, alcohol, energy levels, stress levels, all kinds of stuff, I think porn only comes into the picture if you watch a really excessive amount of it.

videogames_ · 2022-12-22T09:00:33+00:00

Other ways to make her orgasm. Eat her out or finger her. Sometimes she gets off and leaves but a lot of times once you get a woman off she will do almost anything to make you hard. You can always do your best and if you go quickly just do round 2 once you recover. You’re young and what has helped me with my performance is experience. I know what helps me get hard and what doesn’t. If that still fails just lay off the porn and consider the blue pills.

0ctaviusRex · 2022-12-22T05:54:02+00:00

Yeah who knows.... was there any alcohol involved? Whiskey dick is real. If yes learn your lesson that whiskey and sex don't mix and if no alcohol was involved still move on

Remote_Ad4806 · 2022-12-22T08:39:48+00:00

So what if your dick didn’t work, you could of still gave her the best orgasm of her life and she’d of been obsessed with you

SprintSux212 · 2022-12-22T12:12:30+00:00

I've been in this situation before. It sounds like this was your first time. If so you and your body don't really know how to get aroused with another person just yet.

My advice is just be honest with her and let her know you want to try again. Then just go for it. Don't worry about how your body looks or whatever, just focus on enjoying yourself as well as her.

Anyway I'm going to dm you so check your messages

RedPillAlphaBigCock · 2022-12-22T17:28:27+00:00

Very possible it’s simply performance anxiety , to cure it , try and relax and focus on her pleasure , eat her out and feel her body and you should get hard no problem

0ctaviusRex · 2022-12-22T12:15:22+00:00

Don’t blame the porn , you were fucking nervous for sure. Still I don’t get why you didn’t eat or out or something, there is so much more you can do to have fun with her naked body. Also you are already freaking out which the complete opposite of what you want to do. Keep calm, enjoy touching and caressing each other, relax, focus on sensations and most of all: don’t make it awkward. Just shake it off as it was nothing. When she realizes that it’s a major issue for e.g. a crack in your frame, she’ll leave.

NormanMitis · 2022-12-22T15:13:53+00:00

Quit porn and never look back. You're all in your own head now so just let it go. If she sticks around, great, if not you have to focus on yourself anyways. You'll get your mjo back and you'll find someone who fits well with you. The more you force or cling to the idea of winning this girl over, the more you're getting in your head. Let it all go, be honest with yourself and whoever you're with. Don't worry about conforming to her expectations or anyone else's, just focus on what you need to do and wait for the right match.

2022-12-22T17:10:43+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Icecoldruski · 2022-12-22T17:52:10+00:00

Idk man I’m about to hit 30 and have watched porn for a lot longer than you. Are you sure it’s that, or maybe you just weren’t connecting to her like you thought? It’s funny but slutty girls do not get me turned on now, but a girl who is really sweet and affectionate definitely revs me up.

Right now her brain is wondering “why wasn’t I good enough to get him excited?” Yes she’s thinking other stuff too, but remember that individuals focus on themselves first.

If she’s a good quality girl you can explain to her “hey I’m working through some stuff and my mental space didn’t allow me to enjoy the moment like I should’ve.” If she understands then awesome, you’ll feel even more comfortable next time and most likely properly operate. If she’s judgmental, then it was a great way to discover a red flag on the front end.

Encrypted587 · 2022-12-22T12:28:17+00:00

Well well well how very nice of her to loose interest because you couldn’t get it up, me me me me self self self, just imagine if this was the other way round, I don’t know why you guys bother.

Seneca_13 · 2022-12-22T07:31:35+00:00

If you have Ed due to porn addiction then you are really fuck up, very badly. It will take at least 3 to 6 months of complete abstinence and avoiding any kind of porn or arousal to fix it. Some guys even report only being able to function normally after more than a year. Most guys are not able to do it.

ninjamuffin · 2022-12-22T08:09:28+00:00

Ngl maybe just tell her your nervous about having sex and I think you’d be surprised how she responds. If you feel comfortable with her getting hard is gonna be the last thing on your mind

masterofservant · 2022-12-22T16:32:23+00:00

mentally resetting is also an excuse to not start working out.

you need to drop porn yes, but you also need to excercise, your dick doesn't work sure but it doesn't excuse not doing everything you can to raise your libido

AlienAmerican1 · 2022-12-22T18:44:41+00:00

This is getting to be an unspoken about epidemic. The fact that at 21 it hit you that hard. I'd say keep healing, and court her as you would normally. This might be the situation where honesty is the best policy. Talk to her. If it totally turned her off of you, then don't let it ruin your progress.

NeverBackDrown · 2022-12-22T19:52:56+00:00

Maybe try more foreplay or let her get you erect through fellatio. If that doesn’t work try one of those ED pills.

ED is usually all mental unless your weiner is somewhat damaged. If none of that works might just have to drop her.

divine_pizza · 2022-12-22T22:27:26+00:00

Was in same situation. Quit porn/jerking off completely. While you heal, find a cialis/viagra connect or even get an online prescription and get it shipped to yourself.

The no porn/fap will force you to break your comfort zone and meet/approach more attractive girls than before. Quitting porn is very difficult. Stick with the path and every urge you get, remember that hot girl you lost because of your non-functioning dick that’s been desensitized due to pixels on a screen. It took me 6+ months before I noticed a big difference with having little to no PIED.

The cialis will be your cheat code for now until your dick fully heals.

CommonKoala6 · 2022-12-22T22:45:15+00:00

,,has only had sex with previous partners" ... If she's so attractive I think she simply lied to you.

If you want to know real body count you'll probably need to multiple by 3-5 times

PiperBigBell · 2022-12-22T23:59:25+00:00

I have a few perspectives on this as a man who suffered his dick failing him for 6 years straight in my teens and had to single handedly crawl out of the pit of sexual mediocrity, discovering the secrets of the mind of man and our sexual motivations.

You haven't suffered enough yet in my opinion. You put in 7 to 8 years of mediocrity into your body and you think it's just going to obey you? You haven't learned your lesson until it breaks your soul. You're soul is not broken yet. Will you fully embrace the weight of your mistakes before then? I don't know. But what I do know is that you don't deserve to fuck her. You not getting hard is an honest signal of the man you were congruently for 7 to 8 years. What do you want a woman to believe? This sudden new version of you or the 7 to 8 year version? Until your mind has truly transformed your body will fail you. Sometimes you need to lose women in order for you truly learn the lesson. Sometimes it needs to be the best woman you ever had to motivate you to do better than you had originally set out to.

On second perspective, it is my belief through years of personal trial and error and listening to other men, that all sexual issues are a dominance issue. You do not need confidence, you need dominance. You caring about this girl gives her power. You needing a positive result gives her power. You needing things to happen gives the situation power. You assigning so much value to her gives her power, as if she was someone with power and you need her. You're scared to lose her which gives her power. You believe in things like being good and bad in bed which gives her and the situation power. You probably believe in things like "lasting longer" and "premature ejaculation", arbitrary measuring sticks designed to keep you wanting to satisfy a woman. You probably see how cool she is as a source of validation which means your self worth is tied to her, giving her power.

Only once you approach sex from the perspective of, "I don't care if I lose her. I don't care if she leaves and never comes back. I'm here for my pleasure and mine alone and any she gains happens to be a coincidence. She was made for my pleasure. She was made to serve as my physical entertainment. This is nothing more than masterbation with a person involved. My way or the highway. She will do as I say and do what I want when I want. I will remain truly present in my pursuit of pleasure." Can you truly master your dick. You must learn how to take women, validation, and the humanity of the woman out of the equation and make it 100% about you.

As men we cannot afford to look to validation from them. We cannot afford to seek their approval. We cannot look to feel safe and comfortable with them. We cannot afford doubt and hesitation. States of fear and anxiety are feminine states. Do you see now? Anytime you take on a feminine state your dick fails you. Your body is punishing you for acting like a woman. Men accept consequences. Men lead. Men are assertive and aggressive. Men influence and make others yield to them. Men care about themselves and their own program first.

You have a soft dick because you don't take these traits with you into sex.

Dominance is about taking what you want, however you want, whenever you want, for the pleasure that you desire. Your brain is fucked up from porn yes, but your bigger issue is how you view women. Change that, and along with good diet and exercise your dick will obey you 99% of the time. Note, for dumb readers, yes consent still matters. I'm talking about the dominant mindset.

You think a lion gives a fuck when it's hunting. It doesn't care how it's prey feels. What time of day it is. How fast is. Only that it fits its profile as something it can catch. And it chases it. Murders it. And eats for its own pleasure and survival.

Once you're inside her and into the flow of things, then you can start to let any fantasies about being vulnerable and connecting and getting an ego high off of it. But for now this stop doesn't even benefit you. Trust me man. I consider myself an expert on this topic.

KarmaKill23 · 2022-12-23T00:29:36+00:00

Pop a Viagra.
Fuck her like its your last night on earth.

When she's laying there in a puddle of herself and wants to cuddle, tell her the truth. You're quitting porn so you're sex drive is out of whack.

Andgelyo · 2022-12-23T04:28:57+00:00

Tadalafil 30mg. Works like a charm

c4rdc0llector11 · 2022-12-23T20:29:42+00:00

use this moment as a reason to stick with nofap or semen retention (with exception of banging chicks) until you are clean of PIED. i'm in the same boat as you i've been an addict since 12 and i'm 29 now, been on the nofap/SR/pornfree journey for 3 years now.

also did you know you were in flatline while hooking up with the girl or was it until you tried to fuck that you realized you were in flatline. because i wouldn't attempt again until u know you're completely out of a flatline stage, as they tend to come and go, and will definitely come again the more you relapse and fap.

hard truth is you had your chance with her and now it seems over. maybe a miracle could happen but like i said, use this as motivation for the next potential lay.

pappo4ever · 2022-12-23T23:03:35+00:00

Dude don't blame yourself. Sometimes it happens. Last month I somehow (well, money and luck was involved) ended with a local famous singer and model naked in a room, she started sucking me but I couldn't get it up. Something in her didn't do it for me.

Next day I was with a chubby girl with huge knockers and I was hard like diamond. Fucked her 3 times (Im 45 so its a lot)

You body don't respond to all girls the same, even if those girls are attractive. Before you diagnose yourself with ED, try with a couple other girls, most of the time, it's the girl.

BTW I use porn indiscriminately and even with that, some girls just make me so hot I can fuck them all night.

ElectronicStrain88 · 2022-12-24T21:27:12+00:00

I have the same issue from time to time with side pieces. I can be rock hard in bed with someone familiar but when it's with someone new my erection sometimes disappears when the condom comes out.

If this happens a couple of times it can become a vicious circle. Your mind will be focused on getting and staying hard, but your dick doesn't get hard on command. The trick is to get a cialis prescription from your doctor. Take a pill before the date and you'll still feel the effect a day later.

Title	I think I lost an attractive girl because of my PIED.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	42
Comments	64
Date	December 22, 2022 5:17 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/zsd69e/i_think_i_lost_an_attractive_girl_because_of_my/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/i-think-i-lost-an-attractive-girl-because-of-my.1208000 https://theredarchive.com/post/1208000

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