I am rock bottom and want to tell her how disgusting she is. Am I ever gonna have a chance?

azwildcat74 · 2022-07-25T16:03:02+00:00

Loudest message you can deliver to her is in the form of silence and indifference. Live your best life and be better without her than you were with her.

upvotersfortruth · 2022-07-25T06:00:44+00:00

There isn’t anything you can say to her that she will take to heart. No integrity. No morals. No empathy. No humility. Nothing. Don’t waste your breath. She may even get satisfaction from it.

pegleg_legal · 2022-07-25T04:37:34+00:00

Scream therapy did it for me. Unfortunately it was a few years after the divorce that I found out about it, accidentally. Some bullshit issue came up while i was driving and I kept my cool but was so angry. As soon as we were done talking, I screamed at the top of my lungs everything I wanted to say about that particular issue. Then it just kept pouring out of me. Anyone in earshot must have thought I was nuts. Then it just stopped. And I felt, I don't know. A euphoria. It didn't matter that she didn't hear it - because you know what - she wouldn't fucking listen or care anyway. She won't feel bad. She won't feel guilty. All it will do is - as always - let her know she got you. So find a soundproof or far away place. Think about all that shit she's doing and yell it out.

Brilliant-Release400 · 2022-07-25T15:23:49+00:00

DO NOT TALK TO HER. There is no world where what you say matters and your clearing your chest will cost you everything in court and you will have a criminal record.

The court is going to be the weapon she uses to continue to abuse you. In most states your evidence might as well be the judges toilet paper along with the constitution and bill of rights.

Your life will take a completely different trajectory if you break that tro. My psychotic abuser and her more psychotic father actually set up situations to try to make me break the tro so I’d go to jail. It was the most disgusting thing imaginable to do to someone who loved her.

None of that matters. It’s been five years. She eviscerated me in court but at no point did I behave like the monster she made me out to be.

Mind your Ps and Qs and be different than the scum she says you are. Even if you lose in court, your integrity and freedom isn’t worth breaking that tro.

wisstinks4 · 2022-07-25T16:49:15+00:00

I think it’s important for your own mental health to be able to get it off your chest. The key is finding the right venue or outlet to do that. For me it would be going to the driving range and hitting 500 golf balls or going to the batting cage and hitting 500 pitches. You need to learn and know what works for you. I don’t think it’s gonna make sense to say anything to her.

However I would consider writing it down as another outlet to get it out of your head and on paper or type it up on the computer. That way you collect all your thoughts and you can review them and determine what to say or what not to say. Maybe down the road in a year you might write her a letter and in the letter you can see what’s on your mind. I’m a big fan of self-preservation. I hope you’re healing and doing better soon.

us027952 · 2022-07-25T23:22:32+00:00

Same thing happened to me bro. Total surprise RO then divorce and I considered it a tragedy for my son. He had no chance to prepare or adjust. After the no contact was modified and I occasionally glance at the ex when I’m picking my son up and she’s just be gaining and gaining weight. I felt guilty at first but hey…. she made her own bed.

ncredman69 · 2022-07-25T23:45:52+00:00

Don't say shit to the heifer. Focus on becoming the best version of yourself. In the beginning her and her friends are going to talk shit about u, even some of your "mutual" friends. But keep working on urself and stick to the kids when you and her have to talk. In time she will realize what a pos she was and then u can smile.

2022-07-25T02:48:22+00:00

[permanently deleted]

wisstinks4 · 2022-07-25T16:50:04+00:00

I think it’s important for your own mental health to be able to get it off your chest. The key is finding the right venue or outlet to do that. For me it would be going to the driving range and hitting 500 golf balls or going to the batting cage and hitting 500 pitches. You need to learn and know what works for you.

I don’t think it’s going to make sense to say anything to her now. It sounds like she’s not listening and is busy making up lies and fake information just to put you in the doghouse. However I would consider writing it down as another outlet to get it out of your head and on paper or on the computer. That way you collect all your thoughts, you can review them and determine what to say or what not to say.

Maybe down the road in a year you might write her a letter where you can say what’s on your mind. I’m a big fan of self-preservation. I hope you’re healing and doing better soon.

SudetenNachkomme · 2022-07-25T23:46:39+00:00

Man, I’ve been where you are now. Two years later, I still find myself wishing I could have responded to her in kind. Told her all the things I really felt.

I’m going to make the case that it’s better you haven’t yet, from a religious perspective (if you’re not religious, bear with me here, and know I don’t mean any offense): you don’t yet know what God is going to do. Two weeks ago I was at rock bottom, thinking I’d have to resort to joining the military to make ends meet and resigning myself to the date of not seeing my kids in any meaningful capacity again. I had spent the last two months applying for new work virtually everywhere I could; out of almost 300 applications submitted, I maybe had 10 phone calls (3 of which were scams). I’m college educated, bilingual, have over a decade in international communications. I was rejected from Burger King.

Over the last several months I’ve slowly been rededicating myself to God. I’ve made a lot of mistakes since the divorce; lot of things I wish I could take back. Lots of despondency and despair. Call it a crutch or what have you, but I reached a point where I recognized that - at least for me - some religious order in my life was actually good for me. It kept the self-destructive despair at bay.

In the last 2 weeks, I’ve not only had 3 different viable job opportunities respond that not only would help me out of poverty but might even help me build a new career (my ex-wife torched my last one; it’s been a hard road trying to recover from that betrayal). I spoke with a new lawyer and learned that I might actually have a strong case for primary custody over my kids if I have to move for work out of state. God has been doing miracle after miracle, all because I started surrendering more to whatever it is He wants of me.

I’m not trying to proselytize. But I am saying hang in there. You don’t yet know what tomorrow is going to bring. And don’t believe the hype she’s putting out there. She’ll get hers. These kind of things tend to come back and bite them in the ass. If you’re looking for comfort though, I do recommend giving God a chance. You might be surprised at what you find.

Best of luck mate, sincerely. Hang in there. It will get better. Hold fast, and don’t stoop to her level.

Title	I am rock bottom and want to tell her how disgusting she is. Am I ever gonna have a chance?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	4
Comments	15
Date	July 25, 2022 2:38 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/w7d53z/i_am_rock_bottom_and_want_to_tell_her_how/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/i-am-rock-bottom-and-want-to-tell-her-how.1209290 https://theredarchive.com/post/1209290

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