Thinking of dropping my LVF friend because of her cheating

PossibleCook · 2022-01-27T19:04:59+00:00

Drop her. But before you do message her girlfriend, send her screenshots of the flirty tweets and song lyrics. If you have texts from her saying she’s gonna dump her send those too. Also tell her the backstory of her relationship with these “friends” because I doubt she actually told her.

keep_my_stuff · 2022-01-27T19:24:44+00:00

Sorry to say, but your friend is a female scrote. A scrotess, if you will.

BeanBagSize · 2022-01-27T19:14:34+00:00

Drop. Forward all info to the gf. Who knows, you might even get a better friend out of it, but either way far healthier for you to not put up with it.

BedazzledSwashbuckle · 2022-01-27T19:27:05+00:00

I want to validate your choice.

After a horrible exploitative best-friend friendship with a hilarious, fun, sister-from-another-mister, it dawned on me that she'd hit on every boyfriend I'd had. That she never paid back a single loan. That she gatekept my other female friendships with a vengeance. And she was now trying to date MY BOSS (he was married) because she was with me when I ran into him at the grocers, and decided he was cute.

This friend had a looooooooooong series of married men she'd fallen for and dated. The most pivotal one was *her* boss and had a pregnant wife. Pregnant wife walked in to find them going at it on his desk when she was 7 months along. Apparently she walked away and yelled at him later. My friend couldn't get over what a monstrous b**() this @*#&be@st was to be rude to him and her!!! One day, I realized - as I listened yet again to how evil her boyfriend's wife was - that I actually really admired boyfriend's wife. Had I walked in on that, my friend would have lost one or more of her options for mobility, among other things. I told my friend that. We fell out for 5 weeks, then made up, but I never let her back into my life past "acquaintance" ever again.

I've had friends-of-friends and met people who had affairs / met their spouse via affair. Generally (and I realize this will ruffle some feathers), I find that even if you do get to know them, they're not HV people. At best, they have non-existent boundaries and so a lot of their mess will get slopped all over your life. At worst, they're psychopathic and thrill to the "duping delight" of it all.

I've never had opportunity to look back at one of these and think, "That was a mistake. My life would have benefitted if that person was part of it these past 20 years." inevitably, it's turned out to have been a great choice to keep them at arms+arms length

oddcharm · 2022-01-27T19:48:49+00:00

Cut her off. I turned a blind eye and paid the price later when I was the victim of their trash character. I still feel guilty for being bystander not because I got burned, but because I was going against my values. The fact that she has shown she won't be around for you when you need her is what's cementing my advice for you. That was something I knew deep down and ignored. Get tf outta there and don't make the same mistake I made!

When I ditched my ex bff she was married, had a toddler yet was still cheating with 3 other men. These people won't change unless they want to.

ifhewantedtohewould · 2022-01-27T21:30:23+00:00

Uh yeah your friend is a female scrote and you don’t want to be associated with a trash person

Buttercup5555 · 2022-01-27T21:32:00+00:00

I have been in a similar situation and I feel for you. It's not easy breaking off a friendship but in my experience being a cheater does not come in a vacuum without other extremely concerning and hurtful behaviours as well. Also I personally have become very cognizant of what I allow in my proximity and while I don't want to be a preaching moral police some things I just don't ever want to normalize or rationalize in my head. Just absolutely no.

ChgItToRayGunYouFuck · 2022-01-27T21:01:01+00:00

Drop her. I did the same for my former best friend. Once I did, I realized how much other shitty behavior she's done in the past that I just ignored cause she was my friend.

Azraellea · 2022-01-27T19:08:58+00:00

If she refuses to be loyal to women she promises to love and marry, shes not going to be around for me when I need her.

This encapsulates everything.

She's shown she's unwilling to value the emotions of others. What she wants in the moment is more important than not hurting other people. That's pretty much the reddest flag of all red flags there is.

You're right - this isn't just going to stay in her dating life. This is a guess, but I'd bet that you've been there for her before when she needs you yet she doesn't have time for you when you need her.

You need to ask yourself what benefit you get from staying friends with this cheater -- and also maybe give her GF a heads up if you can, anonymously or not. Being oblivious while getting cheated on is never fun.

Title	Thinking of dropping my LVF friend because of her cheating
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	165
Comments	12
Date	January 27, 2022 6:41 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/se5ddo/thinking_of_dropping_my_lvf_friend_because_of_her/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/thinking-of-dropping-my-lvf-friend-because-of-her.1211397 https://theredarchive.com/post/1211397

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