CMV: Cheating is not that bad and i don't understand why it can be a cause for divorce.

Traditional-Bad-4055 · 2023-05-06T05:06:17+00:00

Because you are breaking your promise/commitment to her. You are also exposing her to potential harm. Not only will this likely cause major emotional trauma but for many women it is enough to end the marriage. Imo rightly so

Novadina · 2023-05-06T05:52:50+00:00

Cheating is not bad when a man does it because they usually do it for purely sexual reasons.

So? How does it being sexual somehow not make it bad?

I don’t understand why women see it like such a offense in the relationship.

Sex is not really a big deal and most women agree.

Uh… so which are you claiming, that women see it as an offense or as not a big deal?

They do everything in their power to make sex as soulless and unappealing as possible. To make it seem like a burden.

If you are with a woman who makes sex feel soulless and unappealing, why even be in a monogomous relationship with her ar all?? That’s not a “woman” thing though, dude, maybe it’s just the kind of women you are attracted to or something.

My theory is, is that women see sex as tool of control. It’s essentially one of the only things they offer in a typical heterosexual relationship.

Again, just because that’s how your relationships are doesn’t mean that’s how everyone else’s is. Most people actually like their significant others. Most women enjoy sex, not use it as some kind of “tool of control” (you don’t explain how you use this tool?). And I really don’t think most men don’t see sex as a soulless, unappealing, emotionless, meaningless thing you describe. That sounds awful, I’m so sorry your experience of it has been so bad so far. I hope one day you find a true connection and deep love with someone to really experience how amazing sex can be.

eefr · 2023-05-06T05:44:06+00:00

They do everything in their power to make sex as soulless and unappealing as possible.

I'm sorry your sex life sucks. Not everyone's does, though.

Cheating involves lying, sneaking around, and sharing something deeply intimate with someone else. It's a huge betrayal of trust, and people are entitled to see it as such.

If you think cheating doesn't matter, you are welcome to cheat on your partner (if you have one) and see how that works out for you. I'm sure once you explain to her why her feelings are incorrect, she'll suddenly feel better about it.

Early-Christmas-4742 · 2023-05-06T06:02:28+00:00

Cheating is not bad when a man does it because they usually do it for purely sexual reasons.

So if your wife cheated on you because she found a really hot guy with a huge dick, that would be fine? If they were genuinely her reasons? I personally wouldn't be too thrilled if it was my wife.

EulenWatcher · 2023-05-06T06:04:14+00:00

You have several false premises you base your argument on.

First of all, not all people treat sex as something not important. There are still a lot of people who want to have sex with their partner in committed relationship because they view it as something to share with a person they love.

Secondly, people can have causal sex and then value sex and exclusivity in committed relationships. In the same way you can go camping and eat food with dirty hands, but it doesn’t mean you welcome people to sleep in your bed with shoes on.

Thirdly, no, not all women treat sex as a burden in relationships, married couples statistically have the most sex. The frequency goes lower with time, but it doesn’t mean that they don’t enjoy sex they do have.

On a personal note I see cheating as betrayal. In the same way I’d feel about a partner stealing from us or beating me up. It would be complete betrayal and I’d mourn the person I was in love with and our marriage.

eye_fuck · 2023-05-06T06:04:28+00:00

I'm going to commit reddit crime

just_a_place · 2023-05-06T05:13:02+00:00

If a woman loves a man she will be possessive of him (in a good way). Is is the most understandable thing in the world that a woman would feel territorial over the man she loves just as any man would also lose his shit if another man's schlong was dipping on his girl.

Whatever the reason is, she feels your ass belongs only to her and if you go around giving the D to other hoes she is well within her right to be pissed off and feel betrayed and vulnerable that your dick is going to do the thinking for you and let you become infatuated with some other hoe and break up with her.

It is men who do not see sex as a big deal (unless they're not getting any).

Women have a different perspective on what sex is. They see it as physical affection and an extension of her emotions whereas we see it as just a bodily function, a physical urge that just needs to be satiated and then move on with our day.

It is true that a lot of women use sex as a manipulation tool but it's also their means to express affection for men that they may genuinely love.

Updawg145 · 2023-05-06T05:04:35+00:00

[permanently deleted]

WilliamWyattD · 2023-05-06T05:14:29+00:00

There is typically a libido and attraction mismatch in couples, yes. Female sexuality is different. Generally more erratic. They are pickier. They often age out of libido or having just a single partner for too long can tank it. The mechanics of their arousal and orgasm are more complex. The list goes on.

It's not a female conspiracy to make sex something or something else. Women are just reacting to THEIR circumstances as men react to theirs.

Highonuppers · 2023-05-06T05:29:00+00:00

Cheating is never good, but I can see your point of view. I believe sexual compatibility is crucial in a relationship. That said, if someone is not meeting their partner’s sexual needs then they’re gonna look someone else who does it because your neglecting your partner. I’m not saying cheating it’s justified, but is your responsibility to meet your SO needs, whether you’re a man or a woman. If you get to the point to have a dead bedroom just break up, especially if there are kids involved.

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KayRay1994 · 2023-05-06T07:28:01+00:00

its a breach of trust - simple as that, if you agree to be monogamous with each other, and somebody breaks it, then that fundamentally breaks a trusting bond built between both partners. No further justification needed, you agreed to something with something and didn’t hold your bargain to it - a fundamental breach of trust is due for dire consequences

Zestyclose_Truth9999 · 2023-05-06T08:56:38+00:00

Cheating is not bad when a man does it because they usually do it for purely sexual reasons.

Nope.

Sexual reasons or not, it's still a deal-breaker.

In the age of open relationships and non-monogamy, he's an idiot or a coward if he still chooses to date a monogamous woman or cheat.

Also, if a man cheats, it's probably with women who've got no self-esteem or standards, as very few women of any value would degrade themselves into being a man's sidepiece. I don't want him to give me whatever STDs will definitely be brewing in her snatch. Disgusting.

I also don't want to deal with a cheater knocking up his sidepiece. From a brief look at the adultery sub, some of those nuts genuinely think getting knocked up will boost their status from "fluff on the side" to "girlfriend/partner/wife". Drama I don't want/need!

They do everything in their power to make sex as soulless and unappealing as possible.

Speak for your own relationship.

I love having sex with my man, and we make sure it's something that's mutually enjoyable. Why would I use it as a "tool of control" when he's a great lover that makes me horny AF?

python-boot · 2023-05-06T09:46:44+00:00

They do everything in their power to make sex as soulless and unappealing as possible

If sex with women is unappealing, why do men cheat with women?

Your premise is wrong. Sex is a huge deal, and a cheating partner breaks a very fundamental promise. By the way, this is true for homosexual couples as well, and probably also for polyamorous groups.

It's essentially one of the only things they offer in a typical heterosexual relationship

If all they can offer is soulless, unappealing sex, why bother? Obviously, you don't want a relationship with a woman at all, let alone a marriage. Which is fine, but don't invent reasons to explain why.

Title	CMV: Cheating is not that bad and i don't understand why it can be a cause for divorce.
Author	FuckRedditors94
Upvotes	0
Comments	19
Date	May 6, 2023 1:39 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/13987q3/cmv_cheating_is_not_that_bad_and_i_dont/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-cheating-is-not-that-bad-and-i-dont-understand.1218189 https://theredarchive.com/post/1218189

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