Growing up, I always felt rather soft, sweet, and more in touch with my feminine side compared to other guys. I liked to sit alone, think, talk to, and take care of others. I love wearing dresses, doing my hair and nails, taking care of my skin, moving in a feminine way, speaking in a female voice, and so on, minus makeup and perfume. I'm also on ERT and I mostly love it, which is rather extreme for a femboy like me, but okie.

However, being in a conservative country, I've had very bad experiences with how people and society treated me because I was male (e.g. "man up", conscription, thinking I'm privileged) and I've also had bad experiences with women who abused me in many ways, a lot of it because I was a feminine male. When I was younger, I thought I got along better with women, but when they made it clear I was a "wolf in sheep's clothing" or the odd one out and mistreated me, I began to feel more connected with men, and men just seemed nicer to me.

I eventually came to the conclusion that I want to be alone and don't want to interact or even see most women. I have my family and one female friend who accepts me, and that's where I draw the line.

I tried to find like-minded people so we could grow together and I could be less lonely, but for some reason it seems most feminine or queer men my age get along very well with women and are very sympathetic to the feminist cause, like ... uh, why? I found MGTOW, but they spent too much time talking about something they wanted to walk away from (women and gynocentrism) and for some reason focus a lot on masculine virtues and very conservative values, and I respect their decision to focus on masculinity but it isn't my thing.

So, I feel I don't belong anywhere, and I genuinely wonder why aren't there male-only communities that aren't strongly focused on masculinity or traditional values? Why have all MGTOWs I've seen very masculine, when I know many women-only spaces that accept masculine women too? If I was in a queer male community and I truly opened up about my feelings, I would be called out for toxic masculinity. If I was in a MGTOW community and I was just being myself, I would be called out as part of "the problem." I'm okay with being one of the few with no place to belong, but I am also genuinely curious about this.