In Feb of 2022 I ended a 4 year relationship and re-entered the dating scene. I'm 33M in NYC.

It had been 4 years, but during those 4 years dating has seem to drastically change.

I've hooked up with 11 women between Feb 22 and now, and every single one has asked me to do all of or a combo of the following:

  1. Pull their hair
  2. Spit on them
  3. Spank them hard enough to leave welts
  4. Choke them (every single girl out of the 11 has asked me to do this)
  5. Fuck them without a condom and creampie them (every single girl out of the 11 has asked me to do this - for the majority I refused)
  6. Hold them down so they can't move while I fuck them (every single girl out of the 11 has asked me to do this)
  7. Bite them hard enough to leave marks/make them bleed. Most often on their tits/nipples.
  8. Slap them in the face hard enough to make their ears ring.

Before my 4 year relationship, I had slept with 20 women and not a single one has asked me to do any of the above (except the raw dogging of course, but never a ONS).

All of these girls from the past year are in the age range of 21-33, most of them were 23-27. They have been ONS, multi-month long situationships, girls I met that are family friends, or friends of friends. They have been bartenders, VPs at big banks, teachers from upstate, shy artists from soho, every type of girl you can imagine, but they all have this violence/domination/humiliation kink.

On my dating profile and in my mannerisms I don't mention or signal that I'm some sort of dom.

I've talked to my male friends, and they have all reported the same switch. It is weighing very heavily on us, especially if we are bigger dudes (I'm 6'3, 220 pounds), because we've been taught our whole life not to be violent against women. We have to physically make every effort not to hurt the person we are with because it's easier to hurt someone than you know at our size.

I know these women aren't asking for true violence to be acted upon, but... I don't know, I'm starting to get PTSD from it and actively have nightmares regarding it.

Clearly I want to please these women, but when did sex become so consensually violent? Why did this happen? How did it happen? I think it's becoming a major problem for reasons I can't quite articulate.