Hello everybody! I was looking for advice on shifting your dominance threshold, or the type of guy you’re attracted to.

I was reading the back to basics Relationship Dynamic posts, and definitely identified myself as a high dominance/high threshold woman. I’ve been working on myself to be more feminine which I think I’ve made very good progress on, based on feedback from friends/family, but I very much want a guy who’s more ‘dominant’ than I am (not to sound like one of the trashy romances I love, lol), more capable/confident/disciplined/etc.

I’m currently dating a guy who is absolutely wonderful to me. I hate to say it, but I’m not as drawn to him as compared to my ex, who was more “alpha” and definitely more toxic. In general, I’m attracted to the more alpha guys who clearly would not be good matches for me long term (strong physicality, confidence/arrogance, etc.). I want a guy who is kind and treats me well, my ultimate goal is to be mostly a stay at home mother with a partner who’s very devoted to our family.

I feel like I need some kind of way to adjust my tastes to what I actually want, if that makes sense? It’s like craving a donut even though you know it would make you feel sick, and an apple would be a better choice for you.

My relationship with my ex was fast, passionate, and not particularly healthy. My current relationship I would say is much lighter and calmer, and I think I’m slowly starting to develop feelings for him.

Does anybody have any advice for this? How to maybe adjust my threshold/tastes to better align with my current partner? I don’t want to make this super long, I talk more about him in my prior posts if anybody wants more context. I like him a lot and want to this to work, I just worry about my feelings not being as strong. Thank you all for your time!