Spouse no budge on custody

Adventurous_Tie_4464 · 2023-06-09T22:23:07+00:00

We’ll take some comfort in the 50/50 temp order. You are establishing status quo and this is your chance to prove you can parent. Be a great dad and document everything. Let her drag her feet on discovery who cares.? At some point you can file a motion to compel if they don’t provide discovery. I would patiently continue with the 50/50 schedule and not waste a lot of money talking with attorneys. They have to provide discovery at some point and the judge will eventual require a status hearing. The ball is in their court.

If mediation is court ordered I would wait for that to happen and just practice saying “I think 50/50 parenting time is in the best interest of the children 50 different ways”. In the end either you reach an agreement or you will be at a stalemate and the judge will assign a GAL. 97% of divorces never go to trial and you can’t become an every other weekend dad unless you agree to it or lose at trial. I just decided early on I would never sign anything less than 50/50 and would go all the way to trial and lose knowing I did my best. Once you make that decision and commit 100% it’s easier to live thru the day to day

CommanderOfCheese45 · 2023-06-09T19:49:28+00:00

The answer is that unless there's a damn compelling reason not to let her have the kids 50% of the time -- such compelling reasons being that the kids are not safe there, i.e. she's smacking the kids around, or getting black-out drunk all the time and not taking care of the kids, or she is constantly and knowingly bringing the kids in contact with someone with a record of abusing kids -- then no legal entity is going to recommend anything other than 50/50.

Sorry. Just how it is.

On paper it's equal to men and women for parenting, but in practice men typically have a higher bar to clear than women.

Noodletrousers · 2023-06-09T17:54:38+00:00

Do you have the mediation scheduled yet? Is she preventing all contact with your kid(s)?

GAL’s are a double edged sword and expensive to boot.

A little more info and I’m certain you’ll get great advice here, but as written we’d all just be shooting from the hip.

Least_Attorney9006 · 2023-06-09T22:34:22+00:00

Don’t go with a gal.

In high conflict, they will pick a side, and it’s usually the mom.

If you have a temporary agreement in 50/50, just keep the process going. If she won’t put 50/50 into a permanent order, get a trial date. Most divorces settle so when you get closer, it’ll get finalized.

awesomelybearded · 2023-06-09T23:51:04+00:00

I got 50/50 at a hearing to vacate a false PFA, and haven’t looked back. Three years of 50/50 - they don’t overturn that even if you have to blow into a breathalyzer to start your car.

Spodee5 · 2023-06-10T08:01:15+00:00

If you get a GAL or a parenting evaluation it could cost you thousands. They could recommend you get less time than you currently have. Their testimony is weighted more he’s ily than yours by the judge.

If you have 50/50 now the burden is on her not you. She has to not withhold the children. She has to prove why they aren’t being taken care of with you….her statements and allegations are not expert testimony.

I would let her stew and steam and just stay happy and busy with the kids when they are with you.

If she motions for and gets approval for a GAL or parenting evaluator do pay upfront they will hold up your case if not paid. Do state over and over again and say you are the primary parent and state why. Be meticulous in your conversations with the professional about cooking cleaning laundry bathing dental care doctor’s appointments….show them you are doing at least if not more than 50% of the childcare.

Another tact you could take with your ex right now….be proactive about and take care of things she normally would do with the kids. If she takes them to the doctor. Schedule their next doctors appointment on your time and notify her in writing of it. Now make sure you check back in with the doc cuz she’ll change the spot to her parenting time…..and then show up for that appointment. Document for the court all of that.

If she typically takes them to the dentist. Schedule their next dental appointments on your parenting time and take them.

Run the fucking show she’ll shit her pants

Title	Spouse no budge on custody
Author	Cute-sailorboyz
Upvotes	4
Comments	12
Date	June 9, 2023 5:52 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/145byd3/spouse_no_budge_on_custody/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/spouse-no-budge-on-custody.1221736 https://theredarchive.com/post/1221736

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