I tried to follow advices from redpill influencers, and they don't seem to be working.

SweelFor- · 2023-06-24T16:11:02+00:00

So far when talking about improving yourself, you have talked about boxing, the number in your bank account, and the clothes that you put on your body.

Can you think of any other factors that you believe are important in dating and relationships?

AssistTemporary8422 · 2023-06-25T02:16:20+00:00

I wear suit with a tie almost every time I go out

Okay thats super weird to wear a suit everywhere to attract women. You need to follow the dress code of the social context you are in. I just get a very needy vibe from you which women are probably sensing as well.

Raging_Dragon_9999 · 2023-06-25T08:21:47+00:00

Kid, problem is that you're working on your looks.... But you need to work on your personality instead.

ColdSnickersBar · 2023-06-24T19:33:23+00:00

Sounds like you’re doing great at taking care of yourself and thats important. Probably a lot of your trouble is behavioral and thats normal for an 18 year old. You only have a few years of experience and thats fine. I’ve been married about as long as I dated, and I dated for about half your entire life and I learned a lot in that time and had a lot of girlfriends. The more I dated, the more emotionally mature I became and the more successful I was.

You seem to be wanting a real connection, which is perfect! That's the best attitude. Fundamentally, if you hang on to that, you'll figure it out, for real. On the other hand, you talk about talking to women like they’re points to win in a game, which is the opposite of a real connection.

The best overall strategy is to cultivate a network of both men and women that know you to be an awesome guy, be honest about your intentions, and be resilient with rejection. This isn't as hard as it sounds, but it is the long game. In the end, you become wealthy with both friends and girlfriends. When you get there, it would be absurd to imagine a world where you can't find a significant other.

Get to know people in general in places where there’s a safe mix of men and women. Don’t be trying to get into their pants, instead listen to people. Ask follow up questions about themselves and take a genuine interest in their interests. Practice “lines” like: “oh shit back up that sounds crazy you have to tell me more about that!” and “that must have really hurt! How did you handle it?” And then listen. Build a reputation over time as a good listener that gives a shit. While you do this, learn about people. It may feel like spying, but it's spying for good. You're learning who to date and you're also learning how you'd actually be with them.

While it's important to actually know and listen to people, it's also important to be honest: you want to date people. You're not just looking for friends. That's okay to want to date people. It's also okay to want to have sex. When people aren't honest, they become "friend zoned" because they're liars about their intentions. It's okay to open up and ask women out and be up front about your intentions. It's also okay to share with your friends that you're looking for a woman to be with. That's fine and normal and not weak. It is strength. Weak little weasels lie about their intentions. Strong people face them directly.

When you ask women out, invite them to safe things that are fun. Make sure there’s low stakes and an easy out: make it easy to say no. Like a party at a mutual friend’s or a show with other trusted friends. More intimate options could be things like showing them around your favorite city spots (in public). Extra super effective if you find things that you two mutually enjoy because you made a real connection before. Be clear in your intentions but not intimidating. I like approaches like "I really like talking to you! There [thing] going on at [place] this [time], want to come?" It's okay if it's obvious you're asking them out because, again, we want to be honest with our intentions. This helps them have an easier out, too, because if they're honest people as well, they can actually just say "I have a boyfriend, but I can still see you there" or something like that. If that happens, then that's fine! Everyone was cool and honest, and she still probably likes you and she'd probably still be your fan and help you find that other someone. We want to be rich in people who are on our side.

Be actually emotionally strong by being okay with “rejection“. Rejection isn’t bad and you’re not gross and no one is embarrassed. Just sometimes you’re not their flavor and that’s okay. If you ask someone out to a thing and they’re like “nah” then that’s fine because you make it chill and easy and no worries. Again, if she rejects you, she's probably still on your side, and that helps you build that network.

If she goes with you to the thing, then also remember that this is a sampling of each other and it might not work out. It's okay for her to not be interested in you after the date, and it's okay for you to end up not wanting a second date, too. It's all up to you two at this point. Just don't ever lie about who you are and what you're looking for.

Do not fixate on a single person. No one is “meant” for you. There is no destiny woman out there. Always make it low stakes to go out with you. Remember that you can be scary, dude! Women have to worry about being literally murdered so be aware of if you’re being scary and do everything to not be scary. You said you’re a boxer and you’re in shape. That could be sexy, but it could also actually turn women away. You have to be the gentile giant. Be the fun and safe cool dude that isn’t bothered.

Red pill never gives this kind of advice to people because there's no grift in this advice. There's no way to make money off you and sell you shit. There's no grift in basically giving free fathering to young men, so you don't see it much on YouTube.

If you want to talk more about it, I'd be down to share more of my experiences. Like, for example, where do you find these places where you can meet people?

wasted_basshead · 2023-06-24T19:56:19+00:00

Do you see dating as a step by step ordeal? Or do you try to make more organic connections and flirt organically? (Things like eye contact, smiling, asking open ended questions, tv shows, open and inviting body language, smiling, nodding/looking and being attentive), shit like that.

_Terrible_Advice_ · 2023-06-25T09:45:39+00:00

It's good that you're taking care of yourself, but taking dating advice from the red pill is like taking flying lessons from a slug.

Sexism is a huge red flag to women, and you may be unconsciously outting yourself as a red piller.

xvszero · 2023-06-24T17:53:38+00:00

Where are you meeting the women that you try to date? What are you connecting with them on?

Naus1987 · 2023-06-25T00:21:36+00:00

Online dating is a problem.

Mean_Mechanic9889 · 2023-06-28T16:12:35+00:00

Ironically all those things make you less attractive to 18yo girls.

If they wanted those things, they'd date older men. (Why would you want a girl who wants you for money ect?) The majority of 18yo just want a boyfriend on their level who'll give them a shoulder ride at a concert.

Give yourself a break. Keep up with self care and whatever you enjoy. But you're a kid. Go be a dickhead kid with a dickhead kid girl x

From a 30yo woman. Don't listen to men around my age trying to influence you and sell you stuff. They're preditors taking advantage of you. Never forget that. It's why they advocate taking advantage of younger girls too. It's just in their nature to be that way. Very disturbing.

sensibl3chuckle · 2023-06-24T18:22:54+00:00

Post yourself in r/roastme and we'll tell you what you're doing wrong.

thefallenhero42069 · 2023-06-24T17:22:08+00:00

3 Things Bro and this worked for me as well but I wasn't interested in the girls.

1: You are 18M, women dislike men under the age of 25 in general, proven by stats and so date younger not older women, when you hit 25-35 thats your prime years bro.

2: What is decent money? How much per year? understand that younger women focus more on lifestyle and "flexing" over security, so if you are a humble millionaire the younger girls are gonna choose the secret broke dude who flexes fake rolexes and rented Lambos

3: Get in SHAPE and make sure your facial looks are good, LASIK your eyes so no glasses, straighten and whiten your teeth. Have a V taper body and aim for abs, get broad shoulders. I am a fat guy and I can say all my in shape friends get way more girls than me by far and they said the same thing when they were fat.

Keep up the good work man, stay true to yourself. I'm not part of any community but I personally choose RP over the other groups personally.

vcreativ · 2023-06-25T16:36:37+00:00

Online isn't real. I find it very curious to see who's "successful" and who isn't online. It's borderline random as far as I'm concerned. When actually considering my standards for what makes a man.

In person, things are kind of similar though much less extreme. I'm still surprised as to who gets with whom and who exactly seems to be doing it on the regular.

But we're only in control of the things that we do. So the Stoic in me shrugs at the weirdness of people picking people whom they must realise have more flags than a diamond jubilee.

I personally dress relaxed at this point. You wouldn't catch my in track suit bottoms to save my life. Jeans and a good polo. Some smart shoes with soft soles (I had the clack of suit shoes). Now any attention I draw is more due to me and how I act than the things I wear.

I don't really see tests as a bad thing. Truthfully, I'm quite appreciative of a good and meaningful one because it signals to me what the lady is filtering for, that she is, and a ton about who she is, as well.

The differentiation between a "test" and a "shit test" for me would be that the narcissism bleeds through in the latter case. But that's good info, too.

At 18y in a suit seems a little over the top for me personally. In the end the way you look makes people come over but who you are in relation to them makes them stay. I say in relation to them, because not everyone that is "successful" with women has character, it's more about mutual compatibility (which includes codependence as well as a compatible lack of character).

So chill, remember that the way you dress can also create distance, keep what works, discard what doesn't. But most importantly do that inner work on your emotions, pains, and fears.

Title	I tried to follow advices from redpill influencers, and they don't seem to be working.
Author	Fresh_Eggplant_4491
Upvotes	6
Comments	23
Date	June 24, 2023 2:54 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/14hv122/i_tried_to_follow_advices_from_redpill/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/i-tried-to-follow-advices-from-redpill-influencers.1223344 https://theredarchive.com/post/1223344

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