Look, we all come into these discussions already biased no matter what because unless you identify as non-binary, you're on the side of one gender and no one wants to feel like they're on the "losing" side.

So when we start talking about preferences, that bias plays into how we read what people say.

When a woman says, "I like tall guys", other women will likely read that as a preference for tall guys but she's probably not going to rule out any short kings if their personality clicks, unless she's super shallow. So other women don't judge her until she's proven super shallow.

Men seem to read that as a hard and fast rule, that short guys have no chance with her and she's likely to laugh you off if you approach, projecting experiences with other shallow women onto this one random girl who just expressed a simple preference.

A man says he prefers athletic girls. Other men are likely to understand that he wants someone healthy, attractive, and can keep up with his lifestyle. He might be okay with a girl with a belly if she meets those other criteria.

Women, especially those who've been fat shamed and called land whales in the past, will be on the defensive immediately, since their perspective and history says this man is going to be insulting very soon. I'll be honest, I'm guilty of this too.

I think we can all admit that name calling and insults are not helpful to any sort of discussion. But so many people here have been burned by it in the past that we read insults that haven't even been said, because we assume guys or girls are so rigid on their standards that it's just a matter of time.