My relationship had a really rocky start before we got married. I was very inexperienced and young. I felt really guilty for the immaturity that I put my ex through. So in return, I always defended her when she was portrayed in a negative light by others.

She always justified pushing me to get married quickly, because of all the shit I put her through in the past. That she suffered enough, so now she was deserving of marriage.

Every single one of my family and friends told me not to marry her, but I did it anyway. Yes, I ignored one of the biggest red flags. I know stupid me.

I know I could have been a better partner, but being exposed to toxic relationships around me and being raised by highly critical parents didn't help. So after I got married, I got my act together.

You can tell a lot about a person during divorce. She became a completely different person. I tried to remain as civilized as one can be to their STBXW.

No matter how nice I was, she didn't give a rat's ass. It won't make her any nicer. She already expressed how much she hates me no matter what I did, she would always hate me for not making it work. Btw, I initiated the conversation that would later lead to our divorce.

I'm not going to defend her anymore. She's been acting bitchy for a long time now since she knew divorce was coming. I'm tired of being a doormat and whipped. Yes, I can't believe I'm admitting to that. I'm ashamed of my past now.