My older sister owns a 2,500 sq foot house in Arlington, VA. For the last year I’ve been paying her $2,000 a month for half the house (it’s sort of a duplex). I have 50/50 physical custody of my 6 yo and 4 yo. We’re on a 2/2/5/5 schedule. My sister and her Wife are not only a huge support for, but for my girls. We’ve kind of all been a family over the last year. My girls love their aunts and can’t get enough time with them. I often have to make barrier’s so they don’t rush over to their side of the house. We share meals, do movie nights, and go on vacations together. These are amenities I can’t put a price on.

Recently my sister has been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. She is only 3 days in on this journey and learning this news. We know it’s not curable, but how long she’ll live is the question. My heart is breaking in two. My sister just turned 50. She has been like a Mom to me and a Grandma to my kids. The love my Ex and I didn’t get to demonstrate to my kids, they have been able to see between my sister and her Wife.

I have a lot fears of exposing my kids to the trauma of seeing someone they love so much die from cancer, especially in such close proximity. I’m even more worried about Ex’s response. Anyone who looks through my reddit history can feel the dysfunction. My Ex has said in the last year that my kids shouldn’t live with me or my sister since we’re obese (mine you I’m 185 at 5’10). My kids are aware of my Ex’s opinion and have commented on my weight. Nothing is off limits for my Ex. I’m concerned how my Ex will respond, and how she’ll manipulate the girls. Part of me knowing how toxic my Ex is, that the less she knows the better. That I don’t owe her to know anything personal, knowing how abusive she can be.

Should i move out and shelter the girls? I was planning to in a year. My gut and heart tells me to stay and support my sister and her wife. Selfishly, my kids are s great joy and distraction for them. But is this fair to my kids? How do I even tell my kids? Tears have just been flowing these last days. I just always thought I’d have my older sister and she’d get to see my kids graduate from college