I am in a highly contentious divorce with my ex. ATM currently awaiting report from the court appointed guardian on custody and heading into pre-trial in November. You'd think everyone wants to strictly adhere to the schedule and not rock the boat. No. Ex is NPD and is already testing limits on what she can get away with as it pertains to swapping days.

I have already agreed to my first day swap with her, the very same week she has already asked for another day in December for a dance recital for our 4 yro daughter. I told her no, that I have not yet planned out our December and would be able to give her a definitive answer about a month before her event.

Her response? Its too late and that if I still say no, she's going to make a motion to the court. Clearly its an empty and ridiculous threat. In my heart, I want my daughter to go to the recital and will in all likelihood agree, BUT I know if I capitulate to this threat (her perception), she will only get more emboldened. Whats the proper response? Keep in mind the court guardian is still working on the case and has visibility into our communications.

Addendum

I know that this is just the tip of the ice berg and this is the hell I am going to deal with for 15+ years, which is why I think its important setting a precedent. If my ex was rational, I would have no problem, recital? Of course, no problem lets switch days but my ex is a self-important bulldozer of a bitch who has no grasp of the concept of reciprocity. I want to do whats best for my daughter but that also means protecting my autonomy and time with her.